Why do alcoholic beverage institutions believe that only portly gentlemen consume their intoxicating products? I think it's because they're not afraid of the little guys they offend when they offer free t-shirts in XL sizes only.
My story starts at the Duty Free. The Duty Free was giving away free 1 litre bottles of Southern Comfort about 3 weeks ago. Well, they were practically giving them away, at the bargain price of $16.
Along with the bottle of yum, they gave away a free Southern Comfort t-shirt. I was truly excited to see this promotion because I had just missed the opportunity to get a free t-shirt while we were in Vermont.
When I unrolled the quality Hanes product I was shocked by its enormousness. I was quite upset that I'd never be able to wear a shirt this elephantite, so I thought I would find another home for it, but I didn't want to do a lot of asking around. I decided to give up my brand new Southern Comfort t-shirt as an integral part of the next Useless Prize Package over at Useless Advice From Useless Men.
If you'd like a chance to win this sweet, huge torso-covering, you'll need to follow the contest instructions. Don't worry, they're easy to follow. Simply submit a question to UselessAdvice at hotmail.com after November 30, 2006. Or if you'd like a chance to win what's in the Useless Tin, go ahead and email your question before Friday.
I know you want it. You know you want it. After all, free stuff is awesome, whether it fits or not. Hey, I think I just figured something out.