Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Mexico: Good For Snorkelling... And Scams

They don't build 'em like they used to.Despite being scammed out of $89 thirty seconds after we entered the Cozumel airport, I had enough fun in Mexico to declare that I would like to go back some day.

Like lightning, Suz and I never like to hit the same place twice. Slowly but surely we are seeing more of the world as we visit a different country about once a year. With a shit-ass economy though, this was the year of the cheap vacation. And Mexico is pretty darn cheap.

I've become a little bored with resort-life. I sound like a snob eh? Sitting around drinking all day sounds great in theory, but, believe it or not, unlimited lime daquiris become boring after a while. Suz and I have been to Cuba, the Dominican, and Venezuela, and I've had my share of sitting around. This time, I wanted to DO something. And if there's one thing Mexico is good for, it's doin' stuff.

Okay, no, it's the beer. But if there are two things Mexico is good for, the other thing is doin' stuff. Oh wait... they make good Tequila too.

I crush the Cozumel needlefish!Of the stuff to be done in Mexico, sightseeing, in particular the ancient Mayan ruins, is obvious. Going on a rather cheap vacation, we were better able to afford some excursions. Feeling vulnerable after being scammed, we played it safe and booked our Tulum ruins excursion with our travel/vacation company.

Tulum was pretty radical. The crusty stone structures overlooking the surreal blue-green water were well-preserved and oozing with Kahlua, one of Mexico's most delicious exports. (Actually, it was the Duty Free at the airport that had all the Kahlua.)

School of sargeant majors in Xel-ha. I bet they'd be tasty.We also visited "the world's largest aquarium", known as Xel-ha (pronounced Shell-ha). It is a natural waterpark consisting of a 22 km inlet with lagoons and caves where snorkelling is top-notch. As a bonus, the park was all-inclusive, so we didn't have to spend any extra for breakfast, lunch, or drinky-poos. Drunk snorkelling is highly recommended. No wait, I meant NOT recommended.

Being a fish lover, snorkelling was something I was really excited about. During our adventures in Xel-ha, and even off the coast of our resort, we spotted some really fantastic aquatic life. The mermaids were too fast to catch on film but some of the other stuff was just as interesting.

Not as fast as a Corvette, but just as nice looking.Using our Fuji underwater cameras (I picked mine up at Henry's for $11.99) we captured some of the typical Cozumel reef fish such as non-Mopar style Barracudas, stoplight parrotfish, cowfish, ocean triggerfish, needlefish and got bit by a school of palometas. I even chased down a stingray and snapped a really decent pic of him as he left me in his dust.

My only regret, and the reason I'd go back, is to Scuba-dive at the Palancar reef, which was five feet from our resort. My half-hour Scuba lesson in the pool combined with a few confidence-building lime daquiris and anyone would think I'm a divemaster. Who wants to go?!

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Goodbye Canadian Winter

I need a hover-conversion on the DeLorean to get past these jokers!

With record snowfall, below average temperatures and an un-insulated basement making our home feel as chilly as an igloo floating in the cold void of space, Suz and I are becoming a little tired of our un-typical Canadian winter.

Working on the basement was fun for a while, and kept my mind from the monotonous and daily grind. The daily grind, for you non-Canadians, consists of a) waking up, b) eating breakfast, c) shovelling for an hour, d) brushing off the car, e) scraping ice off the inside of the windshield, radio, and gauges f) working, g) brushing off the car and going home h) shovelling the nice wall the snowplow left while you are at work, i) eating, j) sleeping. Repeat for 4 months.

Personally, I kind of like i) and j). But they're hard to enjoy when you know that shovelling and scraping are just around the corner.

What makes winter worse is having to step over stiff, frozen hobos everywhere you go. Even worse than that is when your neighbours, during the full moon of a Canuck-style winter, turn into horrible asshole werewolves who park their cars in the middle of the road instead of their perfectly shovelled driveways. Now, I can understand parking in the road as the best option if the driveway was full of frozen hobos, but we live in a relatively hobo-free area. And the odd one you find blocking a doorway will usually move if you give him a poke with a stick.

Coming home from work is supposed to be the best part of the day. But not when your horrible ass-wolf neighbour has blocked the road by parking his Jetta directly beside another car. And this is precisely what happened earlier this week.

Leaving only enough room for a motorcycle to fit between, I blasted my horn for a good 17.2 minutes. Being completely ignored only made the horn-honking maniac in me even more honk-happy. By the time midnight rolled around, I decided the best course of action was to rent a Bobcat and ram the Jetta into the snowbank. But I turned around and drove all the way around the block instead. Go figure.

I made a hasty decision to leave a note on the windshield, explaining to the horrible ass-wolf of his illegal actions. Suz and I also made a decision to cut short our crappy winter and head to the famous crystal clear scuba-diving waters of Cozumel, Mexico.

So that's it for me for a while. Next time you hear from me, I'll be a little browner, a little relaxeder, and a little hung over.

Labels: , ,


This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.