Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Goodbye Canadian Winter

I need a hover-conversion on the DeLorean to get past these jokers!

With record snowfall, below average temperatures and an un-insulated basement making our home feel as chilly as an igloo floating in the cold void of space, Suz and I are becoming a little tired of our un-typical Canadian winter.

Working on the basement was fun for a while, and kept my mind from the monotonous and daily grind. The daily grind, for you non-Canadians, consists of a) waking up, b) eating breakfast, c) shovelling for an hour, d) brushing off the car, e) scraping ice off the inside of the windshield, radio, and gauges f) working, g) brushing off the car and going home h) shovelling the nice wall the snowplow left while you are at work, i) eating, j) sleeping. Repeat for 4 months.

Personally, I kind of like i) and j). But they're hard to enjoy when you know that shovelling and scraping are just around the corner.

What makes winter worse is having to step over stiff, frozen hobos everywhere you go. Even worse than that is when your neighbours, during the full moon of a Canuck-style winter, turn into horrible asshole werewolves who park their cars in the middle of the road instead of their perfectly shovelled driveways. Now, I can understand parking in the road as the best option if the driveway was full of frozen hobos, but we live in a relatively hobo-free area. And the odd one you find blocking a doorway will usually move if you give him a poke with a stick.

Coming home from work is supposed to be the best part of the day. But not when your horrible ass-wolf neighbour has blocked the road by parking his Jetta directly beside another car. And this is precisely what happened earlier this week.

Leaving only enough room for a motorcycle to fit between, I blasted my horn for a good 17.2 minutes. Being completely ignored only made the horn-honking maniac in me even more honk-happy. By the time midnight rolled around, I decided the best course of action was to rent a Bobcat and ram the Jetta into the snowbank. But I turned around and drove all the way around the block instead. Go figure.

I made a hasty decision to leave a note on the windshield, explaining to the horrible ass-wolf of his illegal actions. Suz and I also made a decision to cut short our crappy winter and head to the famous crystal clear scuba-diving waters of Cozumel, Mexico.

So that's it for me for a while. Next time you hear from me, I'll be a little browner, a little relaxeder, and a little hung over.

Labels: , ,

15 Comments:

Blogger SJ said...

Cool! Have a nice vacation!

The daily grind here in tropical chennai is
a) waking up, b) eating breakfast, f) working, g) going home i) eating, j) sleeping. Repeat for 12 months.

12:22:00 AM

 
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Winter is one thing I'll never miss, Martini! Take care and stay warm. Soon enough it will be time to drive the DMC 12 in warm weather! :)

12:30:00 AM

 
Blogger mmat said...

i would have probably called the police to get the guys car towed out of the road rather than leave a note, but then again i am a jerk.

2:40:00 PM

 
Blogger Monogram Queen said...

Ah have a fabulous time in Cozumel. Nothing like a little sunshine and alcohol to cure the winter blahs!

3:02:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

mmat, I was thinking about it, but since it's a neighbour, I thought I'd better try to be nice. If he keeps doing it though, the bylaw/police will be the next step.

Sayonara everyone!

7:51:00 PM

 
Blogger Becky said...

Holy crap you get frost inside your car windows! Wow! Time to move! Virginia welcomes you, it only snows a few times a year. It is just enough to appreciate the beauty of it and not be annoyed with it's draw backs. That and about 3 months of the year or more the weather is perfect to just leave the windows open. I am biased, I used to live in South Carolina, where it was hot and humid, and it never snowed. Well it would snow flurries once a year but it never stuck. I find Virginia to be a perfect place that shows all four seasons.

9:52:00 PM

 
Blogger Becky said...

Dude, I saw this web site and thought of you... You've probably already seen it, but I had to share with a fellow Back to the Future fan.

https://www.bttf.net/

11:38:00 AM

 
Blogger The T-Dude said...

My home of Chicago hit a new record for snow this year...by January! Something tells me we aren't done yet.

4:38:00 PM

 
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

you lucky dog.

8:51:00 PM

 
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

Happy Valentines Day to you and SUZ in whatever tropical land you are in!

10:31:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Thanks for all the comments - we are back. I'll post soon.

10:49:00 AM

 
Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

Wow, good for you taking off for a bit!!! Drink lots of those funny little drinks with teh umbrellas!

2:40:00 PM

 
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

hey! i'm dealing with montana winter, here...give me some of that tropical life!

10:41:00 PM

 
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Thank God the car has a stainless body if they use salt on tose streets Martini!

10:18:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Tropical life? You got it. New post tonight!

And the stainless baby is all safe and sound in my garage, away from that nasty salt!

7:32:00 PM

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

 

This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.