Goodbye Canadian Winter

With record snowfall, below average temperatures and an un-insulated basement making our home feel as chilly as an igloo floating in the cold void of space, Suz and I are becoming a little tired of our un-typical Canadian winter.

Working on the basement was fun for a while, and kept my mind from the monotonous and daily grind. The daily grind, for you non-Canadians, consists of a) waking up, b) eating breakfast, c) shovelling for an hour, d) brushing off the car, e) scraping ice off the inside of the windshield, radio, and gauges f) working, g) brushing off the car and going home h) shovelling the nice wall the snowplow left while you are at work, i) eating, j) sleeping. Repeat for 4 months.

Personally, I kind of like i) and j). But they're hard to enjoy when you know that shovelling and scraping are just around the corner.

What makes winter worse is having to step over stiff, frozen hobos everywhere you go. Even worse than that is when your neighbours, during the full moon of a Canuck-style winter, turn into horrible asshole werewolves who park their cars in the middle of the road instead of their perfectly shovelled driveways. Now, I can understand parking in the road as the best option if the driveway was full of frozen hobos, but we live in a relatively hobo-free area. And the odd one you find blocking a doorway will usually move if you give him a poke with a stick.

Coming home from work is supposed to be the best part of the day. But not when your horrible ass-wolf neighbour has blocked the road by parking his Jetta directly beside another car. And this is precisely what happened earlier this week.

Leaving only enough room for a motorcycle to fit between, I blasted my horn for a good 17.2 minutes. Being completely ignored only made the horn-honking maniac in me even more honk-happy. By the time midnight rolled around, I decided the best course of action was to rent a Bobcat and ram the Jetta into the snowbank. But I turned around and drove all the way around the block instead. Go figure.

I made a hasty decision to leave a note on the windshield, explaining to the horrible ass-wolf of his illegal actions. Suz and I also made a decision to cut short our crappy winter and head to the famous crystal clear scuba-diving waters of Cozumel, Mexico.

So that's it for me for a while. Next time you hear from me, I'll be a little browner, a little relaxeder, and a little hung over.