Season's Worst Sugar Cookies

The Christmas spirit struck our insurance agent this year, and as a result Suz and I received a recipe from her in the mail. The recipe was entitled, "Season's Best Sugar Cookies" and as a huge fan of sugar cookies, I was dying to try it.

At the bottom of the professionally printed recipe card was a note that stated "This recipe is a personal family favourite of Hallmark designer Jeanee Wallace." This endorsement, coupled with the fact that Suz is an excellent baker, made me confident we were about to bake the best cookies ever in the history of the world.

Everything Suz makes is pretty much super tasty. She even baked our wedding cake, to the surprise of many guests. Because of these mad baking skills it was easy for her to mix together:
1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
2 eggs, well-beaten
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder and
3 1/2 cups flour

Together we placed the tablespoon-size rounds of dough on the greased cookie sheet. Together we used our index fingers to make the dough a nice circle. And, precisely 10 minutes later at 375 degrees, together we tasted the Season's Worst Sugar Cookies.

I, not being a Sumo Wrestler and therefore not enjoying the diet of a Sumo Wrestler, was so repulsed by the overwhelming raw egg taste I had to spit mine down the sink then rinse my mouth out with fresh juice from a skunk's stink sack.

Additonally, the cookies had a consistency more like airy corn pone, instead of compact cookie. They even expanded over double the area they were supposed to.

Suz and I agreed: we both despised the cookies. When I told her my feelings towards the vomitous treats, I figured she'd be upset, but I had no choice. If I pretended to enjoy them, I'd likely find myself being tortured by these same demon-egg-cookies next Christmas.

Yes, it was a lose-lose situation for me. And I lost. But at least I'll never have to taste Jeanee Wallace's favourite cookies ever again. Merry Christmas everyone! Consider this warning my Xmas gift to you all!