Scandalous?

Not exactly. But Senator Welch's party room at the Wyndham Hotel in Burlington, VT was still full of interesting things. It was probably full of interesting people too, had we gotten to know any of them.

Even though Suz and I were invited into their room to hang out and have a good time while they celebrated, we didn't really talk to anyone. I am not sure I would know what to say to any of them, besides when I congratulated the victorious Senator Welch. I am not sure they would have enjoyed talking with me after they found out I didn't vote for their beloved Mr. Welch due to my Canadian status. And even if I did vote, they were far too busy high-fiving the new Senator, and imagining how they could ask him for favours.

When they weren't shaking each other's hands, patting each other on the back and giving camera crews a big thumbs-up, they were busy knocking pistachio shells on the floor for the cleaning staff. It might seem horrific and insensitive, and it might cause anger to rise up in some people, and offend the older generation of grizzly, crotchety pistachios, but that's what they call "Keeping jobs in America".

The staff in our hotel was very stealthy and efficient. During our week, I spent a lot of time watching TBS on the bed. Around 2 o'clock I would head out for something to eat, and optimistically turn the doorknob card to "service please". When I returned about an hour later, the beds were made and new bottles of shampoo and conditioner graced our bathroom counter. Amazing.

Inside Senator Welch's party room, the mess was also amazing. While wooden tables were the preferred resting spot for many a plastic cup or wine glass, the floor found itself as second choice when table-top space ran out. And run out it certainly did. Beer bottles, emptied of their intoxicating contents, rested on the comfy carpet in the same position as many of the people who are known to drink from them.

What exactly would the housekeeping staff do if they found someone face down in a pile of beer bottles? Are they trained in CPR and other such important things? Or are they simply trained in the art of dialing 911?

People like you or me might cringe at the sight of an empty water bottle lying on the floor, but the housekeeping staff knows how to deal with situations like these. It's not uncommon for Senators and their teams to create messes during their celebrations. This kind of thing happens on a four-year basis. When it happens this often, the housekeeping staff just kind of goes numb.

But for all of us who aren't used to seeing this senseless mess-making, we can ease our queasy stomachs and calm our crying selves with the same kinds of yummy drinks that littered Mr. Welch's hotel room. And if you look closely, you'll see that it wasn't just juice they were drinking. Mmmm! That's my kind of Senator.

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