Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, November 24, 2006

A Cold Christmas With NOMA

Those folks at NOMA are getting coal for Xmas.

For the last couple of years a fad has been sweeping the Christmas aisles at product distribution centres across the land. Aimed at the environmentally conscious, as well as the super tight penny pincher, LED lights are being advertised as an incredible way to save electricity.

These things are so damn efficient, they're Scrooge-approved.

LED lights use approximately 90% less energy than other forms of Christmas tree lighting, including the popular mini-lights. Light Emitting Diodes aren't any sort of standard light 'bulb' with a filament. Instead they contain a semi-conductor chip which is divided into two sections. One region, lets call it North Korea, contains negatively-charged electrons while the other, South Korea, holds positive electrons.

When a strong enough electric current is applied, the North Koreans invade the other side and attack their positively-charged cousins. This electron war results in light.

When I was a kid, Christmas tree lights were huge, and contained no Koreans. They were made in the good ol' USA, and burned your flesh off if you touched them. Now-a-days they're made in places like China, and only get really warm, while creating a warm ambiance.

But LED lights are slowly replacing them. And that's fine for some people. But not for me. I am returning our "warm white" LED lights from NOMA, and the 9 dollars of Canadian Tire money we received with our purchase.

Why? Because those folks at NOMA don't know the difference between "warm white" and "light so cold it sends a chill down your spine." I mean, these lights are so full of evil they make children under 10 burst into tears as they suck the souls out of everyone in sight.

I'm all for the environment. Seriously. But not when "warm white" lights send a horrible chill down my spine, make my cry tears of blood, and utterly destroy the warmth of Christmas.

Two Martini-thumbs down to LED lights.

13 Comments:

Blogger stillfindingnemo said...

I'm with you on this one Martini. We bought outside LED's. But they'll never see the branches of our tree. They try so hard to be pretty. But they're just not.

11:50:00 AM

 
Blogger mmat said...

nine dollars in CT money is pretty hard to give up. that's almost enough to get you some rechargeable batteries or a Cold Heat Soldering iron.

12:59:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

You said it mmat. I will never see that kind of dough again.

1:35:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Nemo: You have to email me with your new email address.

1:41:00 PM

 
Blogger Chana said...

well thanks for the heads up. every yr i drool over the houses all lit up. my two eldest last yr got up on a ladder and put on 3 curtain lights over the front outside windows (they are so sweet i tell you)..i was delighted..i was told that they are older and wiser and that this yr will be even better so they asked for 'real' lights, lol..my son wants to get them this wknd..now i know what and where to go.

2:05:00 PM

 
Blogger stillfindingnemo said...

Will do! :D

6:43:00 PM

 
Blogger Vengelyne said...

I've never decorated a Christmas tree before, so I don't know the differences between those lights you mentioned, but you did make the LED lights sound very scary what with the way you described them.

10:20:00 PM

 
Blogger patti_cake said...

We use the big "Charlie Brown" type lights are they Martini approved?

2:46:00 PM

 
Blogger redheaded said...

great, we just bought a bunch of those LED lights to light up our front porch and a snow man that looks like he is made with 3 giant ice cubes. can't get much colder than that!

7:20:00 PM

 
Blogger Rainypete said...

With a one year old and three year old in tree molesting range I'm afraid I'll risk their souls getting sucked out over their fingers getting burned. Besides, if you shake your head while you're looking at them they're kind of trippy.

12:48:00 PM

 
Blogger honkeie2 said...

I miss the old lights you could make smoores with. It wasnt xmass until dad burned himself or electrocuted the dog at least once.

5:02:00 PM

 
Blogger Ham said...

You know what? My mom bought those same lights. Her fiance made a home-made dimmer to try to make them less hideous. It didn't work. I recommended re-doing the tree with the old (warm) energy-sucking lights because the tree made me feel like I was in a dive bar with make-up running down my face after the closing lights have just come on to ruin my beer-hallucinations. My mom then had back surgery so, unless I re-do it all this weekend, we just won't be turning onthe tree this season. We just don't turn on the tree

12:52:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

So true, so true. Sorry to hear about your mom. Hope she has a speedy recovery.

3:20:00 PM

 

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