Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Ben & Jerry & Dave

A healthy way to start the day.

I've never seen such a tiny carton of ice cream before. At least, not until I walked into the Gift Shop at the hotel Suz and I stayed at in Vermont.

$2.00 will buy three quarters of a gallon of gasoline. Or, this miniscule, Gary Coleman-sized, 106 mL tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Two 1-dollar bills for 3.6 fluid ounces of sugary, iced cream. That's 55 cents per ounce, or 2 cents per gram.

Okay, so it's not exactly on par with Powdered Cocaine which averages about $650 per ounce, but it's still darn expensive for one mouthful of ice cream. I would have expected the ice cream to be much cheaper, considering the Ben & Jerry's factory lay just up the road from us. If you think about it, the ice cream should be a bargain, what with no transportation costs.

Tiny spoon will help you lose weight!Alas, I spent two whopping dollars on it, so I couldn't go nuts. I tried to go slow, using the tiny plastic spoon that comes with it, tucked beneath a cardboard flap on the plastic lid. But it was no use. The spoon was too small, and my mouth was unsatisfied by the microscopic amounts of ice cream it was receiving. So I ended up using the spoon as a kind of forklift, hoisting the ball of Cookie Dough ice cream up so that I could bite a hunk off. It was a delicate operation, as lifting the frozen ball of ice cream too high would allow it to topple out onto our hotel room floor. And only God knows all of the unholy things/body parts that have touched that carpet throughout the years. Jesus might know too, but I'm not sure if he has the same super-powers as his dad.

Even though I've decided I pretty much hate Ben & Jerry's ice cream, especially Dublin Mudslide, which tastes more like sugary bile than coffee and chocolate, I still like their corporate policies and ethical values.

They oppose Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone, use natural milk & cream from untreated moo-cows, support Fair Trade, and have joined forces with Dave Matthews Band to stop global warming. That's pretty darn sweet, even if their ice cream isn't.


Blogger Vengelyne said...

We don't get Ben & Jerry's here...

We do get Haagen Dazs (I love the tiramisu and macadamia coconut flavours!) and Baskin Robbins.

Talking about things we don't get here, I've placed orders with my sis who's returning from Sydney for potato chips, chocolate coated biscuits (Tim Tam!), and some chocolates. Junkie heaven when she comes back next weekend. Woohoo!

11:40:00 AM

Blogger TheatreChick73 said...

I suffer through Ben and Jerry's cookie dough concoction every once and while. You know, to support thier ethical business practices :)

BONUS! It's tastes good to me too! Nice.

1:22:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

We have all sorts of treats in Canada, but everything from the U.S. just seems to taste better - so whenever my parents or friends go to the states, we always "place an order" with them too!

1:36:00 PM

Blogger stillfindingnemo said...

mmmm...ice cream....ethical business practices always taste good. Unless it's a shoe company...then it just tastes like shoes.

8:56:00 PM

Blogger Ham said...

I'm drunk & that's small.
Although I do appreciate advocacy for GW and the like.

Mmm.. Ice cream. i think I'll have to settle for chick peas.

3:41:00 AM

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

I do like Ben & Jerry's Hubby Hubby ice cream. That's freakishly small ice cream!

9:35:00 AM

Blogger honkeie said...

I dont eat anything that has anything to do with hippies. I want hormones in my food, harm all the small wood land creatures of the world, slash and burn all the forest just as long as my icecream comes in gallon tubs and gives me oral orgasims in everybite.

12:20:00 PM


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