Evan Williams Kentucky Straight Bourbon

Eight dollars. That is about the price of a Big Mac combo at McDonalds. That is also the price of a bottle of Evan Williams Bourbon. Not a mini bottle. A completely regular 750 mL size bottle.

In Florida, I visited the mind-boggling Lueken's Liquors. Their selection is huge. Their prices are tiny. I headed straight to the bourbon, no pun intended. I picked out a nice green, no age statement bottle for $7.99

What does the price say about Evan Williams?

I opened the bottle with a clear mind, trying to be as objective as possible. Alcohol, sweet, medicinal. It was really hard to judge from the nose.

The taste was an eight-dollar surprise. Sweet and slightly spicy, a touch of honey, maybe a hint of that goo. You know, the stuff in the middle of butter tarts, but not quite as sweet. Yes alcohol was present but it was, um, well, smooth. The mouthfeel was thin, but not bad. Actually, it was really nice. Eight dollars nice? No. Nicer.

The finish was another eight-dollar shocker. Spicy (rye maybe?) and sweet. Quite short though. I was impressed. Eight-dollars impressed. No, that doesn't sound right.

Evan Williams isn't complex, that's obvious. But it's definitely eight-dollars complex. This is a bargain. Eight bucks? Seriously? For eight dollars most people would exepect their whisky to be mixer quality. And even then some wouldn't tolerate it in a mixed drink. But not only is this drinkable neat, it's GOOD.

Evan Williams is a barn-find DeLorean. Everything is covered in 3 decades worth of stinky barn dust. The leather is dried up. The tires are cracked. But surprise! Everything works. A steal for the price.

Lueken's Liquors: $8
750 mL
40% (80 proof)

Whisky - the Movie

"One of the best films of the year... Brilliant!"

- City Pages (Minneapolis)

2004 wasn't a particularly fantastic year for film, but it wasn't bad. LOTR: The Return of the King won Best Picture and Lost in Translation, chock full of exciting whisky visuals, was nominated for a handful of Academy Awards. Good stuff.

On the other hand, from Uruguay, came the film "Whisky." Admittedly, Sue and I chose it for its cover. Besides the alluring title, it was thoroughly showered with prizes. And yet, it was a poor choice.

The first half of the movie was interesting, despite the minimal and painful dialogue. The director makes mundane seem captivating as regular people encounter everyday problems not typically explored in film. At times the repetitiveness of these problems provided mild amusement while other times I found myself yelling, "We get it! Move on!"

"Profound, deadpan comedy" - The New York Times. Deadpan? Maybe. The actors conversations were so flat I believed they were amateurs pulled directly off the street. But that's okay, because I knew I'd be excited when they got into the whisky.

"Exhilarating!" - Miami Herald. Aside from the fact I found the intricacies of the machinery (a sock factory) exciting, I would say the correct word to describe this movie is boring. But that's okay, because I was excited, readying my mind to see how many whiskies I could recognize.

"Masterfully understated comic performances." - BBC (UK). There were a few somewhat funny moments where I smiled, but nothing sly, witty or masterful. The performances were so utterly devoid of emotion it could have been acted by cardboard boxes. But that's okay, because I couldn't wait to see what kinds of whisky they were going to drink!

Approximately three quarters of the way through the film, I came to the realization I'd been duped. There was no climax to the (in)activities of the protagonists and there was no whisky. None whatsoever.

The misleading title wasn't the only source of my frustration. The key element of the plot (when his brother comes to visit, Jacobo asks one of his employees to pretend to be his wife) was never explained and stories that started to develop from it were never explored. It was almost an interesting film, but every aspect of it was far, far too restrained.

How it won the grand prize at the Tokyo International Film Festival, or first prize at the Havana Film Festival are so beyond my comprehension that I've come up with one logical answer: no other films competed against it.

If Whisky has taught me anything it's proof that your grade school teachers were right - never judge anything by its cover, even if the cover is full of accolades.

Auchentoshan 18 year Single Malt

Ingrained in the human spirit is the desire to take home a souvenir from their travels. Or maybe it was successful marketing born 100 years ago, or perhaps the social acceptance of thievery. Who knows. But I knew that when I returned from Paris I wanted to bring home something special. Something I couldn't buy at home. One of those things was a bottle of Auchentoshan 18 year old scotch.

I bought this European standard size 700 ml bottle at La Maison du Whisky for the equivalent of $108 Cdn.

When I finally got around to opening it, I tried not to get excited. This was my first 18 year old scotch. So what happened? I was a little disappointed.

I sniffed for a VERY long time, unable to discern anything in particular. After a while my nose stopped working. I took a break, and when I went back to the glass I continued to have this problem. It was too tight. I couldn't detect anything. So I let it sit, open, for a day.

Back again there was a noticeable difference (and with half the bottle gone, I noticed an even bigger difference). A hint of vanilla. Sweet. Fruity. But very faint. Nothing very strong, all coming together beautifully.

The taste is immediately sweet and salty. I find the flavours extremely similar to the Auchentoshan 12 year old, only each flavour is a bit more vivid and waaaay more silky. Grass, nutty honey, ginger, the tiniest bit of smoke.

The finish is warm barley, dry and fades rather quickly. Way too quickly. Just makes you want to have another sip. And hey, that sounds like a great idea.

Rotten things have been said about Auchentoshan 18 y.o., things I thought were undeserving. While absolutely tantalizing, the 18 y.o. is extremely similar to the 12 year. There's just not enough of a distinctness to justify the price difference. Perhaps that is one of the reasons the LCBO does not carry it. But be forewarned, LCBO! Drop the Three Wood and I'll be throwing a king-sized, whisky-fuelled hissy fit.

A perfect, yet overpriced automatic DeLorean, for sale by an owner who's confused fantasy with reality. (Sound familiar Mr. Northern Ontario who wanted $45,000 back in 2003?) Look around and you'll find one just as nice for half the price.

LMDW: $108 Cdn equivalent
700 mL
43% (86 proof)

Woodford Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon

I suffered through my first glass of Woodford Reserve as an acrid layer of hot spice blanketed my tongue and choked my tastebuds. I had tried it in a tavern setting, with savory food. It was a mistake and I was thankful I hadn't made the costly investment of an entire bottle at the LCBO prior.

Yes, it was terrible and the balance was way off. But I was in denial, partaking of it plenty more times since that first night. Each time I had it it was dramatically better and for a long time I excitedly thought of adding one of those unforgettable bottles to my shelf.

I didn't have to wait long. When my parents returned from a Florida vacation they surprised me with a bottle of Woodford Reserve. It was a gift set which included two tasteful etched glasses as well.

Woodford Reserve, with its beautiful wood and cork stopper, is a small batch whiskey and as such it varies from bottle to bottle. I wish I'd recorded the batch number from that first one, not that it matters because that particular supply is long gone. The one I have currently is bottle 545 from batch 654. And this is a fantastic batch.

Nose: sweet spicy metal, and surprisingly little alcohol considering the 45.2% abv.

This was my favourite Woodford to date with cherries and almonds followed by the strong tell-tale metallic flavour of copper pot distillation. What really surprised me was a delicious but faint smokiness too. Finally, the spicy rye hits.

The finish is dry and nutty with a hint of pine. Nosing the glass afterward all I can smell is fresh cut wood. Very nice!

WR is akin to a nicely kept, relatively stock DeLorean. The biggest difference being some 17" aftermarket wheels. The car definitely looks flashier and more luxurious, fast even. But it's probably not to everyone's taste.

Gift from my parents
750 ml
45.2% (90.4 proof)

www.woodfordreserve.com

Amrut Indian Single Malt

"When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun."
             -Clark Griswold.

Vacations are supposed to be fun. And I had a lot of fun in Paris back in 2012. One of the highlights was my visit to La Maison du Whisky, an incredible shop full of liquid treasure.

I purchased their very last bottle of 1975 Auchentoshan 35 year old. As a thank you they gave me a couple of minis for free. One of them was Amrut, no age statement. Amrut is distilled in Bangalore, India, which seems a tad odd considering whisky typically comes from Scotland, Ireland, the USA, Canada and Japan. However, Jim Murray gave the Amrut Fusion 97.5, his highest score to date. My mini though, is the entry level Amrut, aged probably less than 8 years, and comes in a weensie little cylindrical tin. Perfect for storing empty minis when you've finished!

On the nose I felt a warm, strange sweetness slightly like Irish whiskey. It does not give any hints to the 46% abv.

The taste was sweet and floral, like nothing I've tasted before. Exotic, like a zingy felt-tipped marker on my tongue. Ginger. There was a strange punch at the end, like rope. And peach pit. But not peaches.

The finish was gingery again, with a woody taste followed by the same zesty peach pit rope. Very unique, not long and not strong. I really had a hard time figuring this one out. Rope, rope, rope. That just can't be right.

This Indian whisky is like a modified DeLorean. Inside are strange seats and carbon fibre accents around an aftermarket stereo and shifter. The suspension is something you've never seen before, yet it still has that very familiar feel to it and you just know you want to drive it.

La Maison du Whisky: Free
50 ml
46% (92 proof)

www.amrutdistilleries.com

Jura Origin 10 year Single Malt

When I was in Paris, I was on a scotch-high. Breakfast was always 30 cent bananas and $1.00 Red Bull at the grocery store. But we ate out every night, and I attempted to try a new scotch each time.

During a shopping trip to Les Halles I found a bottle of Balvenie 40 year old for 3800 Euros which was so expensive I couldn't even afford to stand near it. They charged me ten bucks just to take a photo! Kidding.

Anyway, I settled on the Jura Collection. The three 5cl bottles cost $25 Cdn. Probably a bit expensive, but I was on vacation and justified the spending that way.

The first I tried was the 10 year old, Origin. I'd never had a 10 year old scotch before so was not expecting it to be as calm or as nice as the older ones I'd had. Wrong, oh so wrong. I've now learned first-hand that age means nothing.

The nose was big on crisp apples and sweet apple juice, with a slight alcohol scent sneaking its way through.

The taste really surprised me. It was rich and slightly smokey. I got a hint of s'mores and then grapes. It was far more mature than what I expected.

The finish followed suit with smokey honey and a unique taste I couldn't figure out for a long time. Ah-ha! Grape seeds!

I really enjoyed this a lot. It's one I would surely buy again. I would liken this to a high-mileage DeLorean. Expecting to find faults, but amazed that there is nothing wrong with it at all.

Les Halles, Paris: $25 for the Jura Collection
50 ml
40% (80 proof)

www.JuraWhisky.com

Highland Park 12 year Single Malt

The Scotch Noob (scotchnoob.com) claims to be for the newbie scotch drinkers. I, however, am far more certified in that regard and that's hardly a compliment.

Months back, when I wanted to branch out, I began taking recommendations. Trying smokier and peatier scotches was a bit frightening, but it's what everyone seems to love. My first peated scotch was an Ardbeg, a deadly thing that nearly destroyed me. I still sweat nervously thinking about it. A number of people suggested Highland Park 12 as the perfect way to ease into it. A sale at the LCBO was my green light and I picked up a 750ml bottle for $55.

Despite huge recommendations and whisky guru Jim Murray declaring it "The perfect all-rounder..." I had a tough time with this one. The nose was fine. A bit of an off-putting yet intriguing old cabin smell, moderately smoky, and after some careful consideration a bit of caramel, but not sweet.

On my tongue was smooth, rich, medium smoke, a bit woody. I almost felt like I was camping. It was pushing my limits - a bit too strong for me and not very complex.

The finish was similar. Warm and smokey. Images flashed through my mind of sitting in a rustic, patched chair in a cabin, dying most likely. As the finish finished the imagery changed to the deck of the cabin, near the water. I was still alive. A bit salty and dry. The scotch, not me.

The problem is I happen to be a supertaster. You can look it up. In a nutshell, I experience flavour at a much more intense level than normal people. What a shock! I'm ABnormal! What it means is that rich, smokey or peaty scotches overwhelm my tastebuds. Yes, I am a scotch wuss.

That's not to say I dislike the Highland Park 12. I can still appreciate it, but the power of this scotch pushes me and my delicate, wussy tastebuds to the limit. A DeLorean with an upgraded stereo, an amp and subwoofer that can't be turned off.

LCBO sale: $55
750ml
43% (86 proof)

www.highlandpark.co.uk

Super Pretentious Scotch Party!

A brilliant notion crossed my mind this summer. Thanks to Dan the Tax Man, I decided to host a scotch party. In preparation, Suz and I got snooty Jazz CDs from the library, and some nice food. The invitation went out, and 3 of the 5 couples arrived Saturday night, each with a bottle in hand.

Jazz was classic, covers, modern and latin-infused. Food was crackers, dark chocolate, almonds and Swiss, provolone & brie cheeses. And most importantly, the scotches were Glenfiddich 12, Ardbeg 10, Singleton 12 and Macallan Select Oak.

Due to this facade of organization, I created the illusion that I knew what I was doing. When I began pouring the scotch it was clear that I was in over my head as my hooligan friends, desperate for a dram, cried regularly, "What's a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?"

Fearing for my life my hands began to tremble as I poured. The resulting casualty was swept up, but fearing a beating if I went off-schedule, I skipped the eulogy.

We took a vote and decided Glenfiddich 12 would be first. After my disappointing experience with the Special Reserve, I was glad to be able to try the regular expression. Group consensus: very nice and worth buying.

Next up we went with a heavy hitter. When we popped the top, non-chill filtered Ardbeg 10 filled the room with smoke. I got more than just a hint of smoked ham! Three out of four agreed: too strong, too smokey.

Third was the Singleton 12, aged in bourbon and sherry casks. None of us could detect the effects of the sherry cask, but agreed it was super duper. All four of us concurred that it was extremely similar to the Glenfiddich 12.

Finally came the Macallan Select Oak, with no age statement. Due to aging in five different casks, it was quite complex and by far the fruitiest of the bunch.

Overall favourites were a bit of surprise to me. Just before everyone drove home in their Bentleys and Ferraris, we put on our monogrammed smoking jackets, had our portraits painted, and took a vote. Results:

Glenfiddich 12: 2 vote tie with Singleton - too similar to choose
Ardbeg 10: 1 vote
Singleton 12: 2 vote tie with Glenfiddich - too similar to choose
Macallan Select Oak: 1 vote

Jim Beam Red Stag Black Cherry Bourbon

I don't really live a life full of vice, but one of my kryptonites is cherry-flavoured beverages. Cherry Coke, Wild Cherry Pepsi and for the love of God, the best of the best, Cherry Dr Pepper.

Unfortunately I live in Canada, whose importing authorities see cherry-flavoured drinks as a sort of deadly violation of the Canada Food Guide and avoid it.

When a friend told me the LCBO was carrying Jim Beam Red Stag, I jumped on it. Why? Red Stag is Jim Beam's Black Cherry flavoured Kentucky bourbon, aged four years. Not only did I get one, but I got it on sale: $25. (It was a limited offering in 2011 and is currently not available at the LCBO.)

I like bourbon and adding cherry flavour to it would only deepen our bond, I was sure. Did my fingers tremble as I cracked it open? Maybe a little.

The nose was strong. Alcohol, medicinal cherry and bourbony. Not so promising.

There's a tired line I've avoided all my life. It's so effortless to say something "tastes like cherry cough syrup!" I tend to really like cherry cough syrup, so this descriptor doesn't work for me. But the taste was so medicinal that I couldn't help but think, "Now I know what people are talking about when they say cherry cough syrup!"

My wife gave it a try and to my surprise thoroughly enjoyed it. Based on this I gave it a second chance. And a third. Fourth. Fifth. Nope. It was awful. It tasted like two separate drinks in my mouth, one being some sort of Robitussin product which came close to overwhelming the second, bourbon.

Did I get a bad bottle? I'll never know.

I would liken Red Stag to a DeLorean barn-find. It's exciting to discover it, but there are just no redeeming qualities about a DeLorean with a rusted frame, dented stainless panels and gummed up fuel injectors.

LCBO sale: $25
750 ml
40% (80 proof)

www.JimBeam.com
www.JimBeam.com/Red-Stag

Blanton's Single Barrel Bourbon

God must hate the prideful folks at the Buffalo Trace distillery. Why? Well, the bible says pride is bad. I think. So Buffalo Trace better get off their high horse before somebody smites them.

So what gives?

Buffalo Trace, which produces Blanton's single barrel bourbon, clearly makes a huge effort to show the world theirs is a truly exceptional bourbon. And rightly so.

First, as stated, this is a single barrel bourbon. The process is very difficult because the whiskey isn't blended with a group of barrels to mask small imperfections. Single barrels have to be perfect. And when it emerges all perfect-like, it's bottled in an amazing grenade of a bottle with a metal horse stopper.

Additionally, they've carried their bottle philosophy through to the lowly miniatures. And just when you thought they couldn't possibly care any more about their product, you open your mini and, for better or worse, a genuine cork shows up in your hand. THAT is how serious they are.

In April I spent a rather obscene amount of money at La Maison du Whisky, and picked out two minis as well, including a Blanton's single barrel for 11 Euros. As a thank-you, they gave me the two minis for free.

I was so excited about the Blanton's that I drank it in my hotel room (and brought the empty bottle home). It was strong on the nose but around the alcohol I detected sweet caramel and cherries.

In my mouth it was zingy, but the cherries were there again, dancing alongside almonds. The intensity grew in my mouth and it became spicy. It was sweet but strong.

The finish was a bit short, dry and nutty. Walnuts maybe.

A very limited supply of this showed up at the LCBO a few months ago and I kicked myself for not forking over the $75 before they all vanished. Luckily I got a second chance in Paris. Next time it shows up in the LCBO, it will not escape my clutches.

La Maison du Whisky: Free ($14 Cdn)
50 ml
46.5% (93 proof)

www.blantonsbourbon.com
www.buffalotrace.com

Glenfiddich 12 Year Special Reserve

Six years ago I had a very unfortunate start to my whisky journey when a neighbour gave me a bottle of scotch for Christmas. It was Glenfiddich 12 year old Special Reserve. I'll bet you're wondering why this is unfortunate.

When I tried it, I wasn't sure what to expect. On the nose I got a quick punch of pears. The pears were huge. There was also a bit of wood, and it reminded me slightly of wine. It was amazing, and I was expecting something fantastic.

The taste, sadly, didn't quite match. It started off nicely with a warm pear-like sweetness, then went a bit sour. Yup, it was starting its decent.

The finish could've been the salvation, but instead the Glenfiddich crashed and burned. The finish was so vile I had a hard time believing, or understanding how, the flavour could've changed so drastically. Basically, it tasted like sour beer. And I hate beer. So this was sort of a double-whammy, and my poor tongue was the punching bag.

Based on this experience I stupidly thought, "I must hate all scotch. I'm never drinking scotch again!"

Years passed, and during that time I stuck to bourbon. Whenever I was offered a scotch, I always turned it down. When I finally caved and tried another scotch, I was so shocked that I went out and bought my own bottle, essentially hitting "reset."

I've since read that Glenfiddich wasn't happy with the Special Reserve and has changed the flavour profile noticeably. People who claim they hated it now admit that they like it. Even still, I am reluctant to try it again. After all, I have that Glenfiddich 12 y.o. Special Reserve to thank for five wasted years!

Special Reserve is like buying a DeLorean that looks great. The fascia isn't warped and the dash isn't cracked... but once you drive it away you realize the frame has rotted from the inside out. Disaster!

Xmas gift
375ml
40% (80 proof)

www.Glenfiddich.com

CDG Duty Free Wall of Whisky

Shopping for scotch at Duty Free locations isn't as easy as it sounds. Few Duty Free shops have a website where they list the different whiskies they sell. Many Duty Free locations have a very poor selection of whisky. Travelling to Paris, I wanted to know what whisky is available at the Charles de Gaulle Duty Free.

I wanted to come home from Paris with something special. I wanted something unavailable in North America, or Canada at the very least. I knew I was making a trip to La Maison du Whisky for one bottle most certainly. But I didn't know if I should buy a second, or take my chances and pick up my 2nd bottle at the CDG Duty Free. What if their selection was terrible?

My CDG Duty Free internet searches came up empty, so I asked on Tripadvisor. One fellow was aware that they sold the Macallan, but nobody else could offer anything. In fact, other people in that thread also began wondering what was available. I decided I'd help everyone out by posting some photos.

The Charles de Gaulle Duty Free was actually surprising. Their selection was the best I'd ever seen in a Duty Free store. Tags showed the price and compared it to common prices paid elsewhere in France. Glenlivet 21 y.o. was €94.40, compared to €107.50 elsewhere. Glenfiddich 12 was €34.90.

Here are some more from CDG, as of May 2012:
Balvenie 21 Portwood: €122
Chivas Regal 18 €80.10 (750ml) and €134.30 (1L)
Dalmore 18: €99
Highland Park 1990: €105
Johnnie Walker Double Black: €37.50 (1L)
Johnnie Walker Green: €48 (1L)
Johnnie Walker Gold: €60 (1L)
Johnnie Walker Blue: €166 (1L)

If you're looking for something I haven't listed like Jura, Cragganmore or Talisker, take a look at these photos I took. Photobucket will not allow me to upload a high quality image, so I've done my best to show as much as I can. Click on the links and you will see what's available and, in some cases, the price.

CDG wall of whisky 1
CDG wall of whisky 2
CDG wall of whisky 3
CDG wall of whisky 4
CDG wall of whisky 5

The biggest surprise for me was The Balvenie 40 year old. I'd photographed it earlier at Les Halles. Check out that hefty price tag. It was available at the CDG Duty Free at the bargain price of €3000.

So world travellers, there you go. I hope I've been able to help.

La Maison du Whisky, Paris

The LCBO's Whisky Shop is a valiant effort to duplicate what France's La Maison du Whisky perfected decades earlier. The Paris shop opened in 1956 and sells extremely limited, special and rare bottlings of whisky along with many regulars.

After an hour or so of walking in the rain, I found LMDW tucked down a little street north of the Champs d'Elysees, just west of La Madeleine. 20 Rue d'Anjou to be exact. It's a beautiful corner store filled with beautiful rare bottles, with a beautiful custom "MW" push to open the door.

When I entered I spun around, a la Julie Andrews, to take in the views of all that was on offer. I guess my excitement was apparent. Despite being dressed in my laziest pair of jeans and grungy old running shoes the amazing staff seemed genuinely happy I was there. Like I was an old friend.

I realize how cliche that sounds but it's difficult to explain the feeling when I was allowed into their private collection room to take photos. It's a small room with bottles to the ceiling, so I used my wide angle lens to capture a few that meant something to me. I can only assume they were for sale, but I didn't ask.

Although a small store by North American standards, La Maison du Whisky is full of incredible bottles. How incredible? What do they have? How about a Glenfarclas Family Cask 1965 just shy of 500 Euros? Or the 1957 Auchentoshan 50 year old? Or Glenmorangie Pride?

If you want it, La Maison du Whisky (probably) has it. Unless you happen to be looking for the 1975 Auchentoshan 35 year old.

Sorry. I bought the very last one - the display bottle.

The Balvenie DoubleWood 12 year Single Malt

Every time I try a new scotch I learn something. The more I drink, the more I learn. Sounds wrong, but it's true.

I have very few friends who drink whisky. In fact, only three do. That doesn't leave too many opportunities to talk about or try new ones. I asked a friend what her favourite scotch was at the moment. The Balvenie DoubleWood was her quick reply. The packaging leaves no mystery as to where the name DoubleWood comes from. It has been matured in two different casks; 12 years in traditional oak whisky casks, followed by a few months in European oak sherry casks.

When my parents returned from Florida, they bought me a bottle of The Balvenie DoubleWood at the Duty Free. One litre bottle, $50.

On the nose I detected a fruity, slightly strawberryish note. It was sweet and very warm.

The taste was similar. It was fruity and sweet, a little bit like honey-covered strawberries and apples, along with a hint of wood. It sounds contradictory, but it has both rich and mellow qualities. A splash of water brought out more "fruit salad."

The finish was long. It was sweet but dry (the sherry), very mellow and a bit nutty & smoky. It's excellent all around, but if I were stuck on a desert island, I'd probably take Auchentoshan Three Wood.

What I've learned is that I tend to like whiskies with a sherry finish. I'm looking forward to trying everything in the current Balvenie lineup, and anything else David Stewart dreams up.

DoubleWood is like a no-nonsense DeLorean. It's not a flashy turbo and it hasn't been lowered. But it has all of the updates done and no cracks in the dash.

Duty Free: $50
1 litre
43% (86 proof)

www.thebalvenie.com

A Whisky Contest for Bender

"Good sir, what has your Bender costume been up to lately?"
- Random Internet People

In a word (plus an article of speech), a contest! Bender's been battling for one of the coveted top five positions over at World Whisky Day's photo contest. Master Blender Richard Paterson will then choo-choo-choose the winner from those five photos.

During the first week I was actually surprised to find myself in the top five but that didn't last long. Over the Easter weekend my photo slipped to sixth and then seventh place despite Blair Bowman himself connoting on Facebook that my photo was brilliant!

It took some perseverance, but I pulled through and am currently mid-pack of the top five.

Many of the photos in the running are really great. Excellent even. And I'd be happy just to finish in the top five. But let's face it. It would be even sweeter if I actually won that fantastic prize.

Can Bender pull it off? I think so. After all, my photo encompasses more of the whisky-drinking marketplace than the others, as mine is the only top photo to feature women. And I am sure Mr. Paterson recognizes that the whisky market is more than men. Because someone wise enough to have blended what's been declared the world's best blended scotch in TWO prestigious competitions is surely wise enough to include men, women AND robots.

I sincerely thank everyone who has voted for me. A HUGE thumbs up from your favourite spirit-chugging robot, Bender!

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You can click here to see what Blair Bowman said.
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Update May 2012: My photo did not win. The winner was a great outdoor photo by Klemen Saje from Slovenia. My congratulations to him!

World Whisky Day 2012

Tuesday March 27, 2012 was the first ever World Whisky Day (despite the fact that it's also the 5th "International Whisky Day", a lower-key celebration, started by friends of the late revered reviewer Michael Jackson).

It trended on Twitter and the website even crashed! The idea was simply for people to get together and enjoy some good whisky, anywhere in the world. What's better than that?

Although that was a rhetorical question, it actually has an answer; a contest!

The prize offered is a bottle of Whyte & Mackay 30 year old blended whisky. It's not available at the LCBO so I checked a few websites and found its value to be between 137 and 162 British pounds. That's nearly $300 Cdn. Not too shabby!

And the contest isn't over yet. In fact, it hasn't even started. Deadline for submitting a photo was March 31st. Now, the folks at World Whisky Day are going to upload the photos to the WWD page on Facebook. The five photos with the most 'likes' will then be judged by Whyte & Mackay’s Master Blender, Richard Paterson.

I decided to invite a few friends over and don my old Bender costume for a photo op. After all, Bender is fuelled by alcohol so it seemed appropriate. So what does Bender drink? Well, he definitely enjoys The Balvenie Doublewood. And so did the meatbags. Happy World Whisky Day! Or International Whisky Day!

Jameson Irish Whiskey

With St. Patrick's Day just behind us, it's about time I got around to my first Irish whiskey review. Although there are countless Jameson reviews, mine is likely a bit different and I suspect most people will disagree with me.

Because of all the triple distilled scotch I've been drinking of late, I thought Jameson's might have a similar quality. (Irish whiskey is all triple distilled, helping distinguish it from other whiskies.)

There aren't a lot of choices when it comes to miniatures or small 200mL bottles at the LCBO, but that's exactly what I found. 200mL bottle, $10.

If I could sum up Jameson's blended whiskey in one word it would be "weird." This is a strange whiskey to me. On the nose I detect vegetables. After a butterscotch punch in the face, I get peas and corn.

The taste was similar. The butterscotch was very subdued, but I did get strange sweet vegetable flavours, some floral, very thin honey and raw corn-on-the-cob. It went down easy thanks to the triple distilling. Quite smooth. I could get used to this if I had to drink on a budget. Maybe.

The finish was dry and sweet, not very long. I tried and tried, but it was a bit of a mystery to me. I couldn't really detect any specific flavours. Does whiskey have a generic finish flavour? If so, Jameson's has it.

LCBO: $10
200 mL
40% (80 proof)

Auchentoshan Three Wood Single Malt Scotch

Whisky is expensive. And the longer it sits in barrels or casks, the more expensive it gets. You're not really paying for the sweet liquid inside, but rather time. As they say, time is money. Think of it as renting space to store something until you're ready to get it. You're also paying for the expertise of the Master Distiller as he nurtures it over those years.

In Canada whiskies get even MORE expensive when the "free healthcare" taxes are included. So, when one has fallen in love with it like I have, one has to make very wise purchasing decisions. No one wants to get stuck with a $100 bottle they don't like. Thankfully there are people like Ryan at Value Whisky Reviews to help. And there's more help at the LCBO. Every 30 days they put their juice on sale, but the savings are typically not much more than $1.50 a bottle. If you're lucky, you'll save $5, and if you've got horseshoes up your ass, it might be $10.

I loved my Auchentoshan 12 y.o. so much that I was willing to take a chance and buy the Auchentoshan Three Wood at full price. It is the only other Auchentoshan available in Ontario and I was dying to try another triple distilled scotch. Did the LCBO's devious little plan work? You bet. Full price: $77.

Three Wood is special in that it has been matured in three different casks. First it spends an entire decade in ex-bourbon casks, then a year in ex-Oloroso sherry casks and finally, finished for 1 year in ex-Pedro Ximenez sherry casks.

The sherry gives the Three Wood a deep bronze colour, and more. The nose made my mind race, searching through file after file of scent memories, trying to find a match. Wood, butterscotch and grapes, and maybe more. It seems similar to the 12 year old only amped up and fruitier.

The taste is very much influenced by the sherry casks. It's an amazingly rich mix of dark fruit and sweetness. Mulberries, grapes, maybe a hint of tobacco and toffee, followed by the same tiny punch of smoke as the 12 year. No, a bit more smoke. Just perfect.

The finish is dry thanks to the sherry casks, a bit grassy, fruity and long. It's not very strong, just perfect. Again, it's similar to the 12 year, only drier and smokier. Even after brushing my teeth I was able to taste it! The finish really is fantastic.

After my first drink I was in love. To me, this is worth a bit of a premium over the regular 12 year. It's like paying extra for a DeLorean... because it has the gas flap hood! Huzzah!

LCBO: $77
750ml
43% (86 proof)

www.auchentoshan.com

Wild Turkey American Honey

I've been drinking Southern Comfort since I was a wee child. It is still one of the staples in my house, but in recent years I had become bored with it. About the only thing I hadn't mixed it with, was milk. Scratch that. Just tried it. Don't do it.

And so, on a Vegas vacation a few years back, I found myself shopping at a grocery store in Henderson with my friends. While they shopped for nutritious things to sustain us, I took a detour into alcohol alley. I asked one of the employees if there was a bourbon-style drink that was sweet like Southern Comfort yet not quite as sweet. I wanted something more bourbony. One of the suggestions he made was Wild Turkey American Honey.

That sounded great to me, and I admit since it was not available in Canada, the cool factor (read: "I have something you don't, nya nya!") played into it a little too. I bought a 750ml bottle for the equivalent of $26 Cdn.

American Honey is Wild Turkey bourbon mixed with real honey. And the nose doesn't lie. I smell bee barf, nectar, a strong sweet citrus, and something bitter like orange peel.

The taste is just a tad different. The light golden sunshine liqueur is hugely sweet, but not like Southern Comfort. It almost has a candy-like sweetness to it, honey, a faint bourbon quality and fleeting citrus.

The finish is sweet and dry, I still taste honey and something else. Something weird. Kiwi?

The honey overpowers the bourbon, but not entirely. And because of its versatility, it's pretty great. Bourbon and Scotch drinkers won't want to drink this neat, but if you're new to this it is a very good place to ease into your whisky sipping journey. And it's even perfect for mixing, adding a sweet corny honey taste to cola or root beer, and probably ginger ale and milk too. Yes, super sweet American Honey is perfect for the bourbon wuss.

NV grocery store: $26
750ml
35.5% (71 proof)

www.wildturkey.com
www.americanhoney.com

Maker's Mark Kentucky Straight Bourbon

I'm back again, polluting the internet with my amateur whisky reviews. While my posts aren't ill-conceived, the notion that I know whisky probably is. However, whisky is a very personal thing.

Reading reviews I find I'm sometimes baffled by the elaborate or curious descriptions given. Chocolate? Creme brulee? Baked goods? In whisky? Well, sure. And I probably smell things that other people don't too. It's just how your brain interprets the scent.

On my way home from Costa Rica, which smells like bananas and Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, I made a pit stop at the airport's mega-tiny Duty Free. When I say small, I mean it. I've been in bathroom stalls bigger than this place.

The store was so small, I was not able to shop. I had to get in line and shuffle along as the line moved forward, viewing what was on the shelves as I passed them. After about 10 minutes, I saw the very last 750ml bottle of Maker's Mark and grabbed it. Duty Free price: $26.

By most accounts Maker's Mark Straight Kentucky Bourbon is aged between 6 and 7 years. The rich orangey amber bourbon is a "small batch" whisky which means each batch is made from 20 or less barrels.

When I peeled the trademark red wax off the top and poured it, the nose wasn't what I expected: Thick wood, almonds, a hint of spice, and alcohol. But it was all fairly muted. I tried many times, but found it difficult to get a smell of something good and solid.

The taste was much better yet still simple. Caramel, vanilla, pepper and Portuguese cork notepad. Wha??? Yeah, I also noted a very odd flavour - it tastes the way my Portuguese cork notepad smells; kind of musty, but not in a bad way.

The finish was spicy and peppery, which is strange because there's no rye in this bourbon. I'm not sure where the taste comes from, but it's very distinct and strong.

Overall, I didn't like this one as much as I thought I would. I guess the hype this brand has built up around itself backfired. I discussed this with a coworker and he convinced me to give it another chance. But over and over again, there was something about it I didn't love. It really threw me. So I decided to *gasp* try mixing it.

I made two of my favourite drinks, the first using Retro Pepsi, the second using Rootbeer. The Maker's Mark added a creamy vanilla flavour to each one, making them THE best Pepsi & bourbon and Rootbeer & bourbon I've ever had. They were so fantastic in fact, that I will happily sin again. If you think I'm a monster, leave me a comment and let me know!

Duty Free: $26
750ml
45% (90 proof)

www.makersmark.com