Mario's Not Interested in my Lawn Mushrooms

When a bright red one caught my attention about 2 weeks ago, I suddenly and inexplicably became interested in mushrooms. Mushrooms are generally kind of terrible. I have never liked them. I've also never understood people's fascination with them, despite growing up (no pun intended) on Super Mario Bros.

Within a few days of spotting the red 'shroom I discovered a fairly medium-sized cluster of glossy brown mushrooms growing beneath my crabapple tree. Unfortunately, they were trampled by my nephews before I thought to take a photo.

However, that led to mushroom research which, upon discovering how delicate some of them are, led to obsessive early morning mushroom hunts in my backyard. How delicate are mushrooms? By noon the shrivelled 'shroom corpses are collapsing all over themselves. By the end of the day there's often no evidence left at all.

I know nothing about mushrooms. I don't know why they grow straight out of grass, how long they take to grow or which ones are edible. But I do know that they are part of a good ecosystem. When you have mushrooms, you have a good party. I mean a healthy lawn.

In the past I'd noticed a couple here and there, but never this many. Every morning I find a new crop of them. Most are the ubiquitous white things that if you said to a child, "draw me a mushroom" they would replicate perfectly and boringly. Others are mega-tiny, with flat brown tops.

Never before had I been curious about mushrooms, and I admit this interest is probably going to be fleeting. Especially if all I can find are these boring white coneheads! I want my poisonous spotty mushrooms!