MIA: Auchentoshan Three Wood

Stay with me here. If you live in Ontario, frequent the LCBO, drink scotch and enjoy Auchentoshan, you just might have noticed that the LCBO is no longer stocking the Three Wood.

Being one of my all-time favourite scotches, this was of concern to me. Big concern. Okay, here's the truth: I cried myself to sleep after punching my pillow into oblivion (an hours-long task). But really, very much really, I'm thankful Dan brought this to my attention.

Want to know what's going on? I certainly did. So in my despair I emailed the folks at the LCBO to ask why they were being so cruel:

Customer By Web Form (Mr. Martini) 04/26/2013 07:11 PM
I have noticed you are no longer carrying Auchentoshan Three Wood. I'm quite upset, in an adult sort of way, and no I'm not even kidding. Can you tell me the reason(s) you've stopped, and if you'll stock it again in the future? Thank you v. much.

I have since learned that "v. much" is a rather British thing to do. Unaware, that is how I sent my message to the non-British LCBO, my actual state of being much more bleak than my letter. When the response came my heart utterly sank when I read, "currently unavailable," but SPOILER ALERT! It gets better.

Response Via Email (Dorothy) 04/30/2013 08:55 AM
Hello Mr. Martini,

Thank you for contacting helloLCBO about Auchentoshan Three Wood. This product was last released through our Vintages program in November 2011. The Three Wood is currently unavailable in our stores as it is being moved into our Whisky Shop program. We are planning to repurchase this product and to make it available in stores starting mid-October 2013. You may wish to contact us again in early fall for further updates.

Best Regards,
Dorothy
helloLCBO

The reply was a REAL letter! I was not addressed as "Dear Customer." And it did not insult me with typical form letter disdainfulness! This was all REAL! Dorothy, wherever you are, you're the best. Thank you for a satisfying reply. I am looking forward to October even more than usual now.

Auchentoshan 18 year Single Malt

Ingrained in the human spirit is the desire to take home a souvenir from their travels. Or maybe it was successful marketing born 100 years ago, or perhaps the social acceptance of thievery. Who knows. But I knew that when I returned from Paris I wanted to bring home something special. Something I couldn't buy at home. One of those things was a bottle of Auchentoshan 18 year old scotch.

I bought this European standard size 700 ml bottle at La Maison du Whisky for the equivalent of $108 Cdn.

When I finally got around to opening it, I tried not to get excited. This was my first 18 year old scotch. So what happened? I was a little disappointed.

I sniffed for a VERY long time, unable to discern anything in particular. After a while my nose stopped working. I took a break, and when I went back to the glass I continued to have this problem. It was too tight. I couldn't detect anything. So I let it sit, open, for a day.

Back again there was a noticeable difference (and with half the bottle gone, I noticed an even bigger difference). A hint of vanilla. Sweet. Fruity. But very faint. Nothing very strong, all coming together beautifully.

The taste is immediately sweet and salty. I find the flavours extremely similar to the Auchentoshan 12 year old, only each flavour is a bit more vivid and waaaay more silky. Grass, nutty honey, ginger, the tiniest bit of smoke.

The finish is warm barley, dry and fades rather quickly. Way too quickly. Just makes you want to have another sip. And hey, that sounds like a great idea.

Rotten things have been said about Auchentoshan 18 y.o., things I thought were undeserving. While absolutely tantalizing, the 18 y.o. is extremely similar to the 12 year. There's just not enough of a distinctness to justify the price difference. Perhaps that is one of the reasons the LCBO does not carry it. But be forewarned, LCBO! Drop the Three Wood and I'll be throwing a king-sized, whisky-fuelled hissy fit.

A perfect, yet overpriced automatic DeLorean, for sale by an owner who's confused fantasy with reality. (Sound familiar Mr. Northern Ontario who wanted $45,000 back in 2003?) Look around and you'll find one just as nice for half the price.

LMDW: $108 Cdn equivalent
700 mL
43% (86 proof)

Hypermiling in a DeLorean

In 1981 the EPA rated the DeLorean's fuel economy at 19 and 21 mpg. Pretty fair for the time, remembering J.Z.D. chose taller gear ratios for good mileage. But can the DeLorean do better?

I recently returned from DMC Midwest where I drove over 500 miles in my DeLorean. On the return trip I recorded my mileage twice to make a comparison. The car was loaded with both myself and my dad at a combined 280 lbs, as well as approximately 150 lbs of luggage, miscellaneous spare parts, and scotch.

The first half of the drive was pissmeoff stop & go rush-hour traffic in the Chicago Loop. Not good. But perfect for a fair "mixed driving" test. The second half of that drive I was on the freeway doing a constant 70 mph.

Roughly 3 hours later I pulled off to eat and fill up as well. I had covered 155 miles and paid for 6.875 gallons at a Marathon station.

For the next test I decided to drive a constant 75 mph. If the car performed well at this high speed, I would be impressed. A few hours and 259 miles later I filled up at Hess. This time the tank held 9.338 gallons.

So what were the results?

The first drive generated a surprise. 22.54 U.S. mpg. What? 22 mpg in stop-and-go traffic? Wow. I just hypermiled my DeLorean. But could my numbers be even higher? The second drive was clearly better despite driving at a higher speed and rpm. I did the math and achieved 27.74 U.S. mpg. A far cry from my Insight, but a pretty incredible number nonetheless!

Curiosity! What will I get at 62 mph (100 kph)?
-----------------

Here's the math:
155 miles divided by 6.875 gallons = 22.54 mpg = 10.43 L/100 km
259 miles divided by 9.338 gallons = 27.74 mpg = 8.48 L/100 km