Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Halloween Candy Oscars 2013 - Part 1

 photo hco2013ausome_zpsab176eeb.jpg

It's that time of year again! I'm rolling out the blood-soaked red carpet for a whole new batch of candy for this year's installment of the Halloween Candy Oscars. Halloween's popularity cycles and 2013 has been shaping up to be a dull year. Halloween candy choices haven't been good this year as dim-wittted candy companies continue to change their packaging instead of actual product.

One company, however, has finally introduced some actual Halloween-themed goodies to Canada for 2013! I have never seen these products in Canada before now. Thanks to Target, the Au'some products are widely available.

 photo hco2013klik_zps7f2056cb.jpgThe first is something called Klik. There are three different characters: a jack-o-lantern, a skull and a mummy. Sliding the spring-loaded chamber open allows you to fill the body with a roll of hard candies, very similar to a PEZ dispenser. Unsimilar to PEZ however, the Au'some candies taste like 3 tons of crap. The biggest difference between the two is that the Klik dispensers don't open to offer you candy. Instead, you pull back on a lever and FIRE one out! While the dispenser wisely states "Warning! Do not aim at eyes or face" I found this to be the best part of Klik. In the name of science I shot myself in the face multiple times, point blank. I did not go blind, cry or die; the candies were merely annoying.

 photo hco20133dees_zps8d7eb300.jpgThe second is a gummy candy called 3-Dees. The 3-Dees live in a ghastly gravestone shaped box, with a blood-spattered mummy on one side, and blood-spattered Frankenstein on the other. The evil gummies inside (Dracula, a bat, and a jack-o-lantern) are highly detailed all the way around and come in 3 flavours. I am not fond of strawberry flavoured candy, but these were not bad. The orange ones were my favourite. Sadly, the watermelon flavour (typically my fav) did not taste anything even remotely close to watermelon. In fact, I can't even begin to guess at what flavour they taste like. I'm sure you could tell people it's "mouldy-pizza-crust-with-buttered-popcorn-and-Snooki's-tanning-lotion flavour" and they'd believe you.

 photo hco2013cauldron_zps88d3bf38.jpgThird up is something a bit different. The Candy Cauldron! Each package contains a black cauldron filled with fizzy powdered candy as well as a broom made of hard candy, like a sucker. Pretty neat right? Lick the broom (mine was apple), dip it in the powder, and suck it. Cool.

Unfortunately, the powder inside the cauldron just didn't do much for me. The fizzyness was minimal. So was the flavour. Despite that, it was still lots of fun, and instantly ups the cool-factor of any desk it sits on by at least 5 warts.









 photo hco2013mummy_zps57fcd3c9.jpgFinally I offer you the Gummy Mummy! The Gummy Mummy is a single, large gummy (40 grams). Mine was orange, but they're available in strawberry and mouldy-pizza-crust-with-buttered-popcorn-and-Snooki's-tanning-lotion flavour as well. The eyes are a little reminiscent of Darth Vader and the bandage/wrap detail is excellent, but does not extend around the back like the 3-Dees. It's kind of like a work of art. Obviously a beef jerky mummy would be more realistic but it's still pretty great. Want to sit alone on the subway? While you are chewing it scream, "I AM EATING TUTANKHAMUN!" and watch your elbow room increase dramatically.

Unless you're a rich (fair warning, swear word approaching quickly) asshole, these are probably not meant to hand out on October 31st. At around $1.29 each, they were awkwardly priced for trick-or-treaters. Each one seems to have both pros and cons but they're still tons of fun, especially if you're caught up in the spirit of things, no pun intended.

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Halloween Candy Oscars 2012

Halloween 2012 would be dead if it weren't for Betty Crocker, Mars Foods and Kraft Foods/Cadbury.

Halloween is creeping up on us again (pun intended) which means it's time for the Halloween Candy Oscars yet again. One of you is probably saying "It's about damn time!" And my other reader is likely closing my blog right now. Go suck a banana, Jody.

Disappointment is in the air for 2012. As I've said, Halloween's popularity cycles and so does the candy. This year it was nearly impossible to find good Halloween-themed treats.

Spooky Eyes gumballs and Frankford's Gummy Body Parts, as great as they are, have not changed one bit from last year. And many things I've awarded prizes to in the past are long dead and gone, buried in the candy graveyard.

This year I chose three products I'd never seen before to do battle for the best Halloween candy of 2012.

I did not sneeze. This is Screme Egg goo. Awesome.The first is certainly brand new - Cadbury's Screme Egg. A sick twist on the Easter Creme egg gives us a creepy new Halloween treat. I purchased a box of 50 mini Screme Eggs for about $9. the box claims 50 eggs but I counted 51. Green goo and an amazing marketing campaign really boost the Screme Egg. But it's difficult to separate the marketing from the product. In the end, the egg is virtually identical to the regular egg.

Next is Betty Crocker's Halloween Fruit Flavored Snacks which I picked up in the good ol' USA for less than $4. Betty Crocker? Making Halloween shit? You better believe it jackasses! These may well have been available in previous years. I have not seen them before, however.Ain't no crock! Betty's pumpin' out 'ween shit. At first I nearly passed on them, thinking they'd just "Halloweened" the packaging with nice traditional costume silhouettes: Ghost, Fairy, Devil, Witch and uh... dude in a top hat. Note to candy companies: you CANNOT simply change your packaging for Halloween! It is NOT acceptable! It's a cop out, and frankly a bit embarrassing.

Betty, on the other hand, offers wicked "spooky shapes" such as a spider, a jack-o-lantern, a witch's hat, a ghost, a bat, and scaredy cat. Nicely done. The box suggests 28 pouches are inside and that is precisely what I counted. The packet I opened didn't have the cat or the spider. But what I tasted was delicious grape & orange flavours.

Finally, a chocolate product. Kudos to Mars Foods for their Snickers Pumpkins. Again, this is something I picked up in the USA and haven't seen before. Snickers Jacks are sweet in more ways than one.At 62.4 grams, each pair of 'kins is the equivalent of a chocolate bar. Each cost me a dollar whopping 50 at a gas station. I didn't care. I was excited to find a new Halloween treat!

And the Snickers Pumpkin did not disappoint. It's a smooth molded jack-o-lantern with spooky Snickery caramel & peanuts condensed inside. I think I actually prefer this to a regular Snickers! Even the package is spooked up with two great looking Jack-o-lanterns and a really nice font on the "Pumpkins." Unfortunately, it's not ideal for handing out to trick-or-treaters. I truly hope there are plans for singles in a big box next year.

Yes, I always make a big deal about awesome packaging, and Cadbury has it with their retail displays and three awesome new foil wrappers (in Canada). The green goo couldn't be more perfect for Halloween. Green automatically implies scary: Aliens, tentacles, and snot! AAAUGH! That, combined with the amazing packaging and store displays earn Cadbury two rotting zombie thumbs up for the best Halloween Candy of 2012.

Halloween Candy Oscars 2011
Halloween Candy Oscars 2009

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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The New Cadbury Screme Egg

Super awesome display makes eggs extra creepy. Thumbs up to the designer.Have you seen these? The Cadbury Screme Egg? They've been available for just over a month, and they're brilliant. So brilliant in fact, that I literally screamed in the store when I saw them, and wondered why I hadn't thought of the idea first.

Screme instead of creme? Brilliant! Creepy green goo instead of yellow? Brilliant! Mummy wraps and pink brain foil wrappers? Brilliant! And a killer display to boot!

I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury. As you may know, Cadbury is not forthcoming in their creme egg production. While no person (that I'm aware of) has filed a lawsuit over their lying about egg production, they are clearly are hiding the truth from consumers.

If you read my previous post about Cadbury, you'll know they're either a bit of an evil corporation, or their staff is dumb as hell. Either way, it is a concern for the public.

Creme egg gone bad? Nope. Just creepy green goo for Halloween!The fact is, Cadbury eggs are not all made or shipped by Kraft Foods. Hershey has the Cadbury contract in the United States. When egg-demand cannot be met in Canada, Hershey fills the void, shipping eggs up from the States, wrapped in different foil, which Cadbury denies.

Now, I have no problem with Hershey being involved. Where I have a problem is with Cadbury covering it up and/or lying to consumers about it. Even a child knows honesty is the best policy, but Cadbury doesn't see it that way. With food-related illness, deaths and lawsuits at higher instances than ever before, there should be more transparency ever in the food industry. But Cadbury just doesn't get it.

Luckily, what they DO get, is that consumers want amazing Halloween-themed treats. It's nice to know that once you get past the stupidity of their front-line staff, there are some scorchingly great minds working there.

The Cadbury Screme Egg: proof that there is some goodness in everything evil.

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Halloween Candy Oscars 2011

The best Halloween candy for 2011, Frankford's always wins.

Halloween is amazing. It's the only time of year when parents turn the other cheek and allow their kids to take candy from strangers. And when you're taking a chance like that, make sure you get the BEST candy. So just what is the best Halloween candy for 2011?

Last year the Halloween Candy Oscars suffered because the Halloween candy niche has been severely neglected by confectionery companies. Halloween seems to cycle, and lately it has not been popular. The proof is in the pudding... er... candy, as it were.

This year I struggled to come up with solid Halloween-themed competitors in any category. I found one chocolate. I found one gummy. I found zero lollies. And I only found Spooky Eyes and Pumpkin Faces gumballs in bulk. It was atrocious.

Candy companies are simply not interested in putting a quality Halloween candy on the market. For the big guys, it's cheaper to manufacture tiny useless versions of their full sized candy or chocolate. For the niche market players, it's simply cheaper not to compete at all. And when that happens, all teh childrenz lose out. Won't somebody think of teh childrenz?!

However, Frankford has once again come forth with an awesome assortment of bloodcurdling body parts. Every year Frankford impresses, but there have been BIG changes in 2011 and not all are for the better. The biggest difference you will notice is the packaging. Gone is the beautifully designed, creeptacular coffin container. I was only able to find a bag of body parts, which states there are 7 different gruesome candies.

Gruesome Halloween teeth are horribly delicious!On the upside, there is a new, fantastically delicious body part. Teeth! Okay, some of you astute readers or candy connoisseurs will remember that Frankford used to have gummy fangs. Well, the gummy fangs have gone to the candy graveyard. They've been updated with hard candy teeth. Teeth so bone-crunchingly good they give me shivers. Trust me when I tell you they crunch pretty damn accurately. (I've chewed a real human tooth before, yeah.)

But to every upside there's a downside. Just like the dreadfully demonic downsizing episode of 2007, it looks as though Frankford shrunk their gummies again. At this point, they can't really get much smaller without becoming stupid-looking, so I'm not worried this trend will continue. In fact, I predict in the near future, a bloody heart will be their next addition.

The gory popped-out eyes, bleeding foot, ripped-off nose, bloody finger, oozing ear and scooped-out brain remain as delicious as ever. However, I did find a lot less of them in the bag, which is supposed to contain 45 individually wrapped body parts. As usual, I had to count to make sure.
The bag contents breaks down like this:
26 teeth (each containing 5 crunchy teeth)
10 brains
3 ears
3 fingers
3 eyeballs
2 feet
2 noses

If you added that up, you'll notice what I noticed too: A four-body-part BONUS! A second bag of body parts yielded almost identical results.

This year all those rotten candy companies who bailed on teh childrenz sure made my job easier. 2011's Halloween Candy Oscar for best Halloween candy goes to Frankford, hands down, for their gruesome Body Parts.

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009
Halloween Candy Oscars 2008

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Monday, November 01, 2010

Bjork Swan Dress Costume

Bjork swan dress costume. Not for the faint of heart.
Halloween is arguably the best time of the year. There are so many reasons for its awesomeness that it cannot be summed up in a simple blog. Possibly a really complex blog posting would explain the awesomeness sufficiently, but I have very little time for that. During the month of October, I don't even have time to eat. I'm running on the last morsels of nutrients from my thanksgiving dinner.

This year I had two costumes; a work costume and one for my party. I began my main party costume in August. I've loved Bjork for as long as I can remember. My paraphernalia is extensive. It was time to complete it with some clothing.

It was time to cross-dress.

It was an obvious choice to go with the 2001 Academy Awards era Bjork. Yep, a home-made Bjork Swan Dress Halloween costume. And here's how I did it.

I picked up some sheer curtains ($15) at a thrift store, along with an $8 white skirt. I cut the sheers into strips, and sewed them onto the skirt in layers. I bought 3 white feather boas at Party Packagers for approximately $21. These were glued between the layers.

I bought a small bit of sexy satiny polyester ($6) for the swan's neck, and sewed that to the top of the dress. I stuffed it with about $2 worth of pillow stuffing and a piece of wire. I bent the wire into a U shape, that would go around my puny neck.

Making a sweet Bjork swan dress beak.
I bought $1.50 worth of orange and $1.50 worth of black Fun Foam at Michael's craft store. Using stupid, dull scissors (I need new scissors) I formed the orange piece into a funnel-like beakish sort of shape. It worked!



swan beak stuff.
The black nostrilly part of the swan was more difficult. And my crappy scissors didn't help. I cut a bizarre symmetrical shape out of the black Fun Foam to make this part. It doesn't look like it works, but it does!



swan beak bits.
I slid the wacky black shape into the orange beak and used my hot glue gun to hold them together. Note to people using hot glue guns - don't use the glue sparingly. Go nuts! The fun foam wanted to revert back into its natural flat shape, and tore. I had to glue this beak twice.



swan beak. Good for soup.
Finally, I used the hot glue gun to attach the completed beak to the head of the swan. It's a major visible component of the dress, so it had to look right. Once complete, I was very pleased with how it turned out.



The last items I needed were shoes and a wig. I bought the shoes at another thrift store for $7. They're not an exact match, but they're close enough that literally 99% of people who see me would never know. (I later found out that 50% of people who saw me didn't even know who I was! Eeep!)

I picked up a surprisingly accurate wig at Spirit Halloween for $16 sometime in mid-September. Total cost, about $78. It's worth every penny knowing you'll never find yourself face to face with another Swan Dress Bjork costume, fighting for prizes at some dope-ass party.

Fully assembled, I'd say I make a pretty sweet Bjork. Most people wouldn't. Most people would run away screaming. Which is exactly what Halloween is all about!

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Halloween Party 2009!

Where's Waldo Halloween special.

A successful Halloween party, among other things, requires that the host graduated the first grade. Good timing, or learning how to read a clock, is vital. If your timing is off, it's going to be a bad night.

Asking guests to arrive too early could have them leaving before midnight, as they get tuckered out too soon. I planned our party to start at 8 p.m., as a good party sees guests let loose for at least six hours.

During the six hours of raging, barely controllable drinking, guests inevitably hungered for not only the skullcakes and 'crack' we put out, but the healthy food too. Thankfully we put out the spread just as people like the Joker started arriving. And since the Joker is so unpredictable, it's beneficial to stay on his good side!

After a few drinks, the Joker wasn't so serious at all.Usually one or two celebrities drop by for our annual Halloween party and 2009 was no exception. Jamiroquai stopped by for a bit, struck a few poses, then scrambled off in his private jet, late for a concert somewhere. Captain Jack Sparrow decided to to chill with us as well, and in typical pirate fashion, stirred up trouble and encouraged others to partake of the shenanigans. But the big shocker of the night was Tinky Winky, in all his purple glory, who entertained until the wee hours of the morning.

As if one Paper Bag Princess wasn't enough, another graced us with her semi-naked appearance half-way to contest time. The Paper Bag Princii caused shock and awe among guests when they revealed that one used to babysit the other, and hadn't seen each other in 20 years!

This guy isn't getting enough salad in his diet.When partygoers started getting thirsty, yours truly in my homemade Vince Offer costume whipped out the impressive Slap Chop and slapped away everyone's troubles. The fresh fruit filled their sangria glasses deliciously and guaranteed partying for an additional 2 hours (an additional 4 for the unstoppable Joker).

Being an infomercial star made everything easier. Not only did I soak up spilled beer with my German-made Sham Wow, but in the morning I used one as a bath mat. And I know you're all dying to know, so while we're on the topic of me, yes... everyone did love my nuts.

Abogado poses with her peeps: Lady Liberty and Vince Vaugn with a hat.It's hard to believe, but Abogado, the Russian Superman (an inside joke) even showed up. The timing for the costume contest was crucial, as Abogado and her husband, Indiana Jones, had to both save and defeat Russia simultaneously at midnight.

As V, Dorothy, Snow White, the Statue of Liberty and a pair of obsecene plug and outlets gathered 'round for the costume contest results, Waldo pulled a classic move and slipped in behind for the best photo of the night, captured by the CSI team of Vicki and Ryan.

First prize, and a Slap Chop, went to the Joker, who appeared to text all his friends. Although, there's the possibility he could've been blowing up a hospital. Second prize, a Graty, went to Tinky Winky who promised he would try it on Tacos, Linguini, Fettucini, Martini, and Bikinis.

As the night wore on, people slowly trickled out the front door while a few others stayed the night. Yes, thanks to good timing, our 18th annual Halloween party was a success again. Now I just have to work on updating my blog in a timely fashion.

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Last year's mischievousness opens in a new window by clicking here

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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5

Gummy Body Parts in a reuseable creepy coffin.HALLOWEEN IS HERE, and with it, the final category for the never-famous Halloween Candy Oscars where I always dish out the deadly details on the most delicious, best Halloween candy.

For Best Gummy Candy this year, we have Frankford's Gummy Body Parts going up against Spooky Treats' Graveyard Gummies and Horror Flix's massive Grave Grabbers. I found all three to be excellent contenders, with great detail and demented, fermented flavour.

Frankford again surprises with two major positive changes for 2009. The first is the obvious coffin that that contains the gummy body parts. The old grey coffin is replaced with a more realistic brown, with fabulous details such as evil red hands and blood-soaked nails. Also, they've given up the use of a spacer to increase its size, resulting in a coffin now half as deep as the old one, but which is 100% full of body parts.

2009 also sees yet another addition to the Gummy Body Parts - a freshly scooped brain! And with that bleeding cerebellum comes a new colour. Typical colours were a pink flesh tone, blood red, and white. But the new brain adds blue to the spooky spectrum, and major creep factor to the body parts. What's next for Frankford? A torn-out heart perhaps? Cross your severed fingers!

This Gummy Brain is a little small. Perhaps it came from a rat. Or George Dubya.While the flavour is still superb, there is some disappointment. Body parts appear to have shrunk again, and instead of 100, there are now only 90. I did a full count when I opened my coffin, and indeed there were 90 bloody body parts. The removal of 10 gummies, plus the possible shrinkage has reduced the weight of the coffin from 750g to 675g. As well, the gummy consistency is all over the map. Severed fingers and noses are extremely flabby & soft, while fangs and feet are properly chewy.

Next up we have the goulish Grave Grabbers. These gummy hands come in various shapes, individually sealed. Click here to see the strawberry Skeleton hand, the green apple gnarled green monster hand, and the blue raspberry rotting corpse hand.

Distinguishing the subtle difference between the Skeleton hand and Frankford's body parts is like biting into a zombie's shin and trying to determine if he died Tuesday at midnight or Wednesday at 1 a.m. The Monster hand's apple flavour could not have come across more perfectly. And I've never tasted a more delicious rotting corpse's hand. Not that I hang out in morgues and do that kind of thing (on a regular basis, anyway).

Despite the details being the best of all the gummies, there is a devilish downside to these giant appendages. At a dollar apiece, these macabre mitts aren't very cost effective to hand out at Halloween, although if you did, your trick-or-treaters would be screaming - with joy.

Roughly the same size as Gummy Body Parts, these gummy mummies impress.Finally we have Spooky Treats' Graveyard Gummies. Each package contains only 12 of the gummies. But each package only costs $1.00. The gummy is black and coffin-shaped, each one with a different coloured mummy laying in/on it. These mummy detail is decent, while, aside from the shape, there is no coffin detail whatsoever.

Compared to the rest, these are about as exciting as a decapitated vampire. At such a low price, I was expecting them to taste like mouldy coffins and dusty mummy wrappings. But I was impressed. Their ghastly grape flavour is superb! It's such a nice surprise to have such a different tasting gummy. Overall though, nothing rocketed these to super-stardom.

I have to give Grave Grabbers two severed thumbs up for their fab detail, but their size is both a pro and a con. Graveyard Gummies receive two werewolf knuckles up for their great grape taste, but other than that, they're a little boring.

It's obvious Frankford is pouring money into their Halloween candy dept. Not only did they have an additional shape to flaunt this year, their graphic artist really stepped up to the crematorium and designed a superb new coffin container. Frankford's Gummy Body Parts wins 2009's Halloween Candy Oscar for best gummy candy! I can't wait to see what they have in store for the future.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4

Frankford's Halloween Marshmallow Pals.

Stories that start with "When I was a kid..." I find hilarious. Unless they aren't funny. Like the one below.

When I was a kid, we didn't get marshmallow things for Halloween. Popular items were often things like pumpkin gumballs and movie monster candy sticks. A can of pop was like striking gold. And of course, there were the obvious chocolate bars, most especially coveted were Reese Peanut Butter Cups. But with all the children allergic to peanuts these days, Halloween safety seems to revolve around peanut avoidance rather than wearing brightly coloured costumes. IE Rainbow Brite or pretty much any of the Teletubbies.

Nowadays there are a few marshmallow treats to enjoy. For the category of Best Marshmallow Halloween candy, I present to you once again the Hershey Pumpkin, and Frankford's Marshmallow Pals.

Hershey's Marshmallow Turd. Er... I mean, Pumpkin.Hershey has done essentially nothing with their marshmallow pumpkin over the years. Prices fluctuate, but the marshmallow unit basically remains the same. It's a fairly large, turd-like treat. The marshmallow is very gooey, and is covered in what seems to be dark chocolate, although the packaging does not state cocoa content. The pumpkin has a vague shape. It is round, a typical pumpkin shape. At the top there is a small protrusion which is intended to be a stem, but overall detail is poor.

I know what you're saying. "Who cares!" Right? As long as it tastes awesome, really, who does care? Well, I suppose, people like me. But how it looks sometimes has to come second to how it tastes. And the pumpkin tastes good. Especially if you like dark chocolate. Personally, I feel it's like a 14 day old zombie; it's a little too strong.

Then there's Frankford's Marshmallow Pals. Hand-decorated Marshmallow Pals! There are four classic Halloween "heads" - a witch, Dracula, the Frankenstein monster, and a jack-o-lantern. Did I mention they're hand-decorated? Each one has incredible candy detailing that crunches like fresh femurs between your teeth. It's hard to choose which one is the most impressive. The witch has a buckle across her hat, green candy hair, and a wart, while ol' Frankie comes complete with forehead scar and neck bolts. As an added bonus, the marshmallow is soft and perfect, not sticky or gooey.

Although quite a bit smaller than the Hershey Pumpkin, Marshmallow Pals still pack a mouthful of terrifying tastiness. In fact, I find them to be my favourite treat of the Halloween season. Truly, they are edible works of art. Although I suppose technically the Mona Lisa is also edible.

Regardless, Marshmallow Pals wins the Halloween Candy Oscar for Best Marshmallow Candy this year. And until Hershey steps up their game, or Frankford loses all their Chinese child labourers in some freak candy factory disaster, these creepy Pals are going to wear this crown for a very long time.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3

Photobucket

Great Halloween candy MUST comply to the following three rules. First, it must be Halloween-themed, by which I mean it cannot simply be some cheap, "fun sized" version of normal, everyday chocolate bars or candy - it must be uniquely Halloween shaped. Two, it must only be available at Halloween. If you can get it year-round, it's NOT Halloween candy, so listen up candy companies! Third, it must be delicious. Who cares if it meets the first two requirements if it makes you want to blow candy chunks all over your dead mother's grave?

Those are hard rules. No exceptions. And in the Hard Candy category this year I have two competitors. 2009's first offering is from Zed Candy followed by the ever-faithful Boneheads by Oak Leaf.

Zed Candy is selling Pumpkinheads in jack-o-lantern adorned tins as well as Skulls & Bones in tins decorated with a gold-toothed skeleton pirate and ghostly pirate ship. Each tin is supposed to contain 60 packages, but in all the excitement of the new candy, I forgot to count them before I dug in.

The Pumpkinheads are all the same. Check them out here. They are pumpkin-shaped, and taste like any orange candy should. Upon sinking your werewolf fangs into them, Pumpkinheads crush to super yummy powder.

Skulls & Bones are very different. If you can't guess what each package contains, I'm not going to tell you. The skulls and bones are mixed colours: blood red, regular red, orange, yellow, green, blue, white, and black. Each colour is a different flavour, but I found them to be quite inconsistent. Sometimes dark red ones were spicy like cinnamon hearts while other times they were fruity. Regular red ones were almost always fruity, but once in a while I happened upon an odd flavour I couldn't place.

Blue was most likely a blue raspberry flavour and was one of my favourites. Orange was orange, green was sort of apple-y and yellow was banana/pineapple-ish. Black was weird and indescribable, which leaves white. Carefully balance the candy in your hand. Any false move will allow it to fall. Disaster! I can only depict it as some sort of delicious "bone" flavour. I seriously couldn't tell what many of them were supposed to represent in the fruit world.

Compared to Boneheads, the Skulls & Bones candy was relatively bad. I found Boneheads, roughly the same size and shape, to be consistently consistent. Fruit flavours were apparent and very good. Unlike "bobbing for appendixes" in a barrel full of zombie guts, you were never left guessing what you just ate.

Overall, I found that I liked Zed Candy's Pumpkinheads best, despite the fact that they cost almost $8. They were delicious to the max, and the nice tin was a total bonus. Boneheads, although consistent and excellent, just didn't have that special something to put them over the top. A solid second place for sure. Zed Candy's Skulls & Bones, however, are a failure in my books.

2009's Halloween Candy Oscar for Best Hard Candy therefore goes to ZED, for their formidable Pumpkinheads, and NOT for their Skulls & Bones.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2

Pumpkins are tasty in both pie and gum form.

Lately I've been working my ass off, which is nothing to sneeze at given how little ass I've got to begin with. As a result however, I've neglected the Halloween Candy Oscars. But it's not entirely my fault. So who's fault is it?

It is the fault of candy companies.

It's hard to get excited and award an imaginary award to an inanimate piece of candy that neither acknowledges its achievement nor thanks me for my effort. Like I'd mentioned in the first HCO awards this year, I wasn't able to find comparables for every candy category.

In the case of gumballs, the Pumpkin Faces gumballs were all I could find this year. Gone were last year's winner, Spooky Eyes gumballs. And I haven't seen 2005's winner, Concord Confections “Halloween Combo” since, well, 2005.

But that's not a bad thing. Looking at the bright side of things, we should count our lucky disemboweled zombie torsos that somebody still has the guts (don't pardon the pun - it was made on purpose so enjoy it) to put out a Halloween-themed gumball.

The Pumpkin Faces gum consists of orange gumballs with black jack-o-lantern details and black gumballs with white jack-o-lantern details. Orange tasted like orange, while black tasted quite different. I honestly couldn't say what it was supposed to be, but the enormous sugar content ensures it is delicious without compromise.

Gum is essentially a wad of sugar. Aside from chewing stale pus-oozed zombie eyes, it's hard to have a bad-tasting gumball. That's why Concord's amazing Halloween Combo really shined. Some spurted blood. Others discharged delectable green slime. Others still were filled with tiny candy seeds. Incredible!

But with no competition this year, the Pumpkin Faces gumballs reigned supreme. It's not an unwarranted victory though. Two severed thumbs up for the ONLY Halloween-themed gumball I could find in Ontario for 2009.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

No diamonds here. But for Halloween freaks, these candy rings are top shelf.

Dearest boys and gouls, you've waited long enough. It is time. Time for what? For the bloodiest, creepiest, Halloweenyest Halloween candy countdown Canada has to offer - The Halloween Candy Oscars 2009! And celebrating my 5th-and-a-half anniversary doing so. May the best Halloween candy of 2009 win!

I decided to start off 2009's Halloween Candy Oscars by sucking. And by sucking, I mean ramming creeptacular lollipops into my mouth. As you may or may not know, I usually compare a couple of different Halloween-themed treats, then choose a favourite. This year, however, will suck (pun intended), as I wasn't able to find comparables for every category despite a few nice surprises on our store shelves.

One of those surprises happened to be Frankford's Monster Lollipop Rings, or, if you're French, Bagues sucons en forme de monstre. I haven't seen these in Canada before and assume these monsters crossed the border without passports.

A tombstone on the bag proclaims the contents to be 25 rings. Upon counting, I discovered this was true, with one package accidentally containing two Frankenstein Monster heads. The other two shapes are a sinister jack-o-lantern, and an evil skull. The breakdown was:
10 Frankensteins
10 Skulls
5 Jack-o-lanterns

Honey, what do you think of these engagement rings?The package shows all three rings being displayed by what appears to be Frankenstein's green, grizzled hand. It also states that the rings are fruit flavoured. Since it did not divulge what those fruit flavours were, I tried all three.

The Skull was my first. It was an opaque white, and initial detail was reasonably good. Upon sucking the skull, the sunken eye sockets and other markings faded. It was sweet, as a fresh skull would be, but I couldn't ascertain the intended fruit flavour. If vanilla and sugar were merged into candy form, I suppose this would be it, although I'm probably very wrong.

Second was the rare Jack-o-lantern. Detail was again, decent, but it was much more obvious in terms of flavour. It tasted like an orange creamsicle... with just a hint of werewolf blood.

Finally, the horrifying Frankenstein Monster tantalized my tastebuds while he perched on my finger. Although glossy and smooth, facial features and neck bolts were still obvious. Apple was clearly the flavour, but it was muted.

Overall, their flavours were a little dull. Kids will find the lack of taste far more horrific than the ghastly faces. But when it comes to unique Halloween-themed candy that's as fun to look at as it is to eat, Frankford is hard to beat. And maybe that's why nobody really tried to compete against them this year. Absent from stores were Harry Potter Blood Pops (also a Frankford product) and Jolly Rancher's Creepy Pops.

PhotobucketHowever, I did find ONE other creepy lollipop: the Spooky Lip Pop. They are not small at 23 grams each, and only sold individually. What makes it so expensive, and impressive, is the huge plastic zombie mouth which replaces the traditional stick. Sucking on one of these babies instantly transforms you!

I chose watermelon, as it is one of my absolute fav flavours. And it was very good. Indeed, the plastic zombie mouth with creepy, cracked zombie teeth was awesome, but at a dollar apiece, Flix Candy "Big Stuff Lip Pop" is hardly cost-effective to give out at Halloween. And what exactly am I supposed to do with the plastic zombie mouth once I'm done?

In the category of lollipop, the Monster Rings are a more logical choice, even if they didn't quite win the taste test. It was a close one, but 2009's winner for best Halloween Lollipop? Frankford's Monster Rings, by a warty witch nose.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2

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Monday, October 05, 2009

Disney World Halloween Party 2009

Great Scott! The Haunted Mansion is-is-is.... haunted!My entire life I've been haunted by a memory which I couldn't place. I was in a round room, without doors or windows. Above me were paintings, or portraits of people. Slowly, the room began to stretch and the portraits with it, revealing that the people were sitting on things: barrels of TNT, tombstones, etc. Whenever I explained the memory to people, they all thought it was a mad hallucination.

When Suz and I arrived at the Magic Kingdom early Tuesday morning, we bee-lined it straight to Disney's Haunted Mansion. I had been dying to go on this ride for as long as I can possibly remember, pardon the pun. Sitting on a slight hill, the creeptacular mansion beckoned me. I was meant to be inside that house.

And you can all guess what happened.

I screamed (with bloodcurdling joy) when our group gathered in the round, windowless, doorless room. I had been here before and I didn't even know it. I had no idea I'd been to the Magic Kingdom before, but my parents confirmed that I was about 6 when I was there.

We rode it first at 9:30 a.m., followed by a second ride just after lunch. I was saving the final ride for the Disney Halloween bash known as Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party.

Not all the graves are still. Watch out!At five p.m. Suz and I changed into our costumes, which Disney encourages. The park was closing and when 7 p.m. hit, only those who purchased Halloween Party tickets were allowed to stay and trick-or-treat until midnight. Everyone else got the royal boot, and were not permitted to have any more fun as they were bussed back to their respective Disney resorts.

The Doc Brown in me wanted to put a flux capacitor on the train, but Disney employees wouldn't let me.We re-entered the park in full costume. The train station, armed with hundreds of fog machines, had taken on an eerie transformation. As we walked down Main Street USA, decorated with scarecrows, jack-o-lanterns and other 'ween paraphernalia, I was greeted regularly with variations of "Hey Doc!" My homemade Doc Brown costume was a tremendous hit. Even Disney employees were coming up to me to comment on my handiwork.

After a few guests stopped me and asked if they could take my picture, my Doc Brown costume caught the eye of a Disney employee in one of the parades. The stilt-walking employee stopped in the middle of the street, waving and calling to me emphatically. Suz snapped his picture and I gave him a Martini style thumbs up before he ran back to his position. I'll have to remind myself to thank Christopher Lloyd for all the attention!

Suz and I spent the night trick-or-treating through the park and hopping on the odd ride. (Wait times were usually 5 minutes or less!) It was just as exciting to talk to the people who loved Doc Brown as it was to see the vast, spooky changes made to the park after sunset. It's truly incredible how the Disney engineers use flood lights and ultraviolet lights to change the appearance of nearly every major building. Most notable is Cinderella's castle, which is transformed, essentially, into a foreboding >Castle Dracula!

Around 11 p.m. we sat in the doom buggies for our third and final trip through the Haunted Mansion, which is hands-down the most phenomenal and engrossing ride in the park. In the end I was so dehydrated from the 95 degree weather, the costume, and hauling the heavy bags of candy around that I woke up with the worst "hangover" since last October, making it a true Halloween party.

And for those who want to know what they give out at the Disney Halloween Party 2009, we had really decent stuff: Hershey bars, O'Henry, Three Musketeers, Nestle Crunch, Reese Peanut Butter Cups, 100 Grand bars, Necco wafers, Bottle Caps, Kraft caramels, Laffy Taffy, Airheads, Bit o' Honey, Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Lollipops, Giant Now & Later, Atkinson Peanut Butter Bars, SweetTarts, Starburst, Dumdums, Sassy Sours and raisin boxes.

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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Bender Costume Construction

Yay, Bender's here! Who DOESN'T love lovable Bender?April 2012 update.

I feel great thanks to the kudos from fellow bloggers as well as from other costumed Halloween lovers at the Boston Pizza Costume Contest I won October 31. Therefore, I thought a post on how I made my Bender costume was in order.

My homemade Bender costume started off as a hope. I knew it would be difficult even if I could find the parts I needed. But more importantly, I knew it was going to be impossible if I couldn't find the proper head. That's why I started in August.

Strolling through a Zellers one afternoon Suz stumbled across a $7 plastic garbage can, quite by luck. I popped the top off and slid it over my head. It was perfect.

I began working on the body first. I bought a Quick-tube, or sono-tube, for pouring concrete footings from Home Depot for $9. I bought the largest one they had, 12" diameter. As most people would agree, 12" is too small, so I split it open. It was also too tall for my torso, so I cut it almost in half. It was also too yellow, but that was easy to fix.

Using an angled strip from the bottom half, I wedged it into the backside, where my shiny metal ass would be, and screwed it together from the inside. I used other small curved bits of leftover tube as the joiners. The cracks were filled with Polyfilla and I later sanded them smooth. See Bender's body here.

Homer said you don't make friends with salad, but he was wrong. Bender makes LOTS of friends with salad.While the glorious amounts of Polyfilla dried, I worked on the footcups. They were easy. I bought a pair of plastic salad bowls from the dollar store, flipped them upside down and, using a Dremel, cut feet holes out of them. I took an old pair of Nike's and glued the toe to the front of Bender's footcup. The glue (Goop) was flexible and allowed me to move the shoe around a bit. Finally, I painted them with grey primer, and attached a flap of grey fabric to cover my black shoes.

Back on the body, I carefully measured where my arms should go, and using a jigsaw, cut out arm holes in the sides. The tube would sit on my shoulders, so I attached a couple of spongey rubber pads that were a family heirloom, passed down from my grandpa to my dad, and finally to me. True story.

Once I climbed inside it I realized I could neither sit nor walk up stairs. With the jigsaw, I cut a flap in the front, but left it attached in the middle. Using carpenter's glue I attached a tab on either side of the flap and glued a pair of attracting neo magnets to each one plus the flap. The flap could be popped open with my thigh and would slam back down and be held in place by the expensive magnets.

Bender's head. It should be in the head museum!Bender's head is unique and instantly recognizable. I knew I had to get it right so I was very careful and spent the most time here. First, I made the visor where the eyes would go. I made it from cardboard and added popsicle sticks for strength and a smoothness that bent cardboard is not known for. I filled in the little gaps with Polyfilla and sanded till it was perfect.

I know Bender is 30% iron, but in my case, he was 30% filler & adhesives. Using more Goop glue, I sealed the garbage flap in the top of the dome. Then I filled in the gap with, yep, you got it, more Polyfilla.

Using white caulking, I sealed the finished visor to the garbage can and smoothed it with my supreme caulking skills. I cut the top of a spray-paint can in half - horizontally - and glued it to the top of the garbage can to form the base of Bender's antenna. On that I attached a tapered tube of rolled paper. Finally, I mounted a wooden doll's head, which I purchased at Michael's for about $1.69.

Bender's head basically complete.The Dremel was too crazy and unpredictable to cut the mouth out, so I carefully drilled about 40 pilot holes around the mouth perimeter, then cut through them all with a nice blade. Once I sanded the edges smooth the head was ready for paint. Again, I used grey primer, as it matches Bender's colour perfectly.

The dollar store provided Bender's eyes. I used the domes off the packaging of two micro remote control cars, carved them to fit the contour of the garbage can, and spray painted them white. I painted the inside of the visor black, then glued the eyes in place. Once dry, I used a black Sharpie to draw his square pupils.

The fabric for Bender's arms & legs was cheap. I found 1.7 metres of the most perfect grey material at Fabricland for about $7. I had a friend of Suz's family sew this fabric onto some cheap clothing I picked up at Value Village for about $10. She also sewed the most excellent 3-finger square gloves from the same material. Here I am trying it on.

The mouth area is where I see out. I used a hot glue gun and attached some sheer fabric that used to hang in our bedroom window. Suz hated it, so it came down, and this seemed like a great use for it. I drew Bender's teeth with a black Sharpie. Inside the helmet I glued two strips I cut from popsicle sticks. The first reason was to add strength incase the mouth was poked from the other side, and secondly, to hold a neo magnet in place.

This magnet was the key to awesomeness. I glued the magnet's mate to the end of a big plastic novelty cigar that I picked up at Party Packager's for 49 cents. With the magnets, I could put the cigar "in" my mouth whenever I wanted. It worked flawlessly, and the Boston Pizza patrons agreed with their cheering.

This was the most elaborate costume, by far, I've ever attempted. Total cost was close to $100 which included a few extra parts I ruined and had to buy again. Total labour was about 25 fun and stressful hours. Everyone but my dad thought I was crazy. But it all paid off in the end when I won enough money to cover the cost of making it, plus more.

So, if you ever want to attempt a Bender costume, I hope this helps. If not, well, you know what you can bite.

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Monday, November 03, 2008

Halloween Party 2008!

Don't jerks know that stabbing Bender's ass will just make him mad? Hungry Spidey just came for the food.

At 8 p.m. Saturday night, exactly 17 years had passed since my first Halloween party. The tradition continued as guests starting filing through the door with fabulous photographer RainyPete among them.

Like a zombie with his head cut off I was running around last minute trying to light candles and put the music on before anyone realized there, well, really was no party to speak of yet. Minutes later the ominous sound of gothic organs filled the house and flickering skull candles illuminated tasty food that was later smeared on the floor in drunkenly loving fashion and danced on for amusement.

As usual, delicious alcohol was free, and flowing all night long for those who dared, or were staying over. House is in the house.But House and Cameron were too focused on each other to care if guests were overdrinking or choking on skullcakes. Luckily there were a number of other doctors present to watch over the rest of us fools.

As the night drew on more and more friends and strangers alike filled the rooms making it hard to move around at times. Luckily Suz had prepared a lot of food and it did not go to waste as an entire starving Survivor cast arrived with the coolest homemade Tiki Torches.

The flash isn't THAT bright, it must be the beer.One particular Survivor member happily pranced through the house declaring to all that he had immunity. However, we all know it was that mix of girly coolers and manly beer under his arm making him so zany. He disappeared for about an hour but the 12 doctors present found him and revived him.

It was a huge suprise to have 7 of 9 (Months), a giant Nintendo Wii controller, the all-mighty Wonder Woman, Red the Fraggle, and Mork from Ork show up on our doorstep. I believe I was the only one who was skeptical of Mork. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I bet my shiney metal ass it wasn't the real Mork. Dying to prove me wrong, he showed me his sleeping position.

The very loose TV theme was a hit attracting a number of characters including an actual TV, a pile of garbage as a commentary on what is on TV these days and a super awesome Mr. Rogers who was in desperate need of a drink.

In the year 3000, I have Mr. Rogers head in my closet.Lucky for me in my homemade Bender costume, alcohol fuelled my power cells and I was required to drink all night. I used my evil powers of persuasion on Mr. Rogers and soon we were best drinking buddies. Forget Fry!

I couldn't have been prouder than when Mike Holmes came through my house and, aside from the severed heads laying about, couldn't find anything wrong with it. He did, however, have a big problem with Chris 'the extra' who was having naughty fun with pen & paper around the food. Nobody dared mess with Mike's massive muscles so we just watched and smiled as he doled out a good hammering.

Around 11:30 we decided it was time for the costume contest. All of the 40 guests drunkenly scrawled their favourite choices for Most Original, Funniest and Best Costume. There were a lot of close races despite 105% of the ballots being illegible.

A bottle of Captain Morgan's Original Spiced Rum went to Christine the TV dinner whose homemade peas, steak & potatoes won her the title of Most Original costume. A Dooley's Toffee Liqueur & glass set went to the bruised and battered winner of the Funniest Costume, Chris the Extra, who spent a whopping $2 on his costume; a cup of coffee from Starbucks. Best Costume was a close call. Mike Holmes lost by one vote to his brother Dr. House, who, for his efforts, took home a Bacardi Superior Rum gift pack.

Bragging about his win, Chris the Extra suffered more beatings as the night drew on. After midnight a number of people cabbed home or hitched rides with strangers. Ugly Betty wisely decided to stay longer and party with the cool kids, and we all danced the night away. It wasn't until the rest of the meatbags had left that Mork revealed his true identity to the shock of everyone but me. It was our good friend Ryan under that red suit all along!

Thanks for coming everybody! I hope you all had fun, and hope to see you again in about 360 days. Check out RainyPete's group shot here.

Last year's shenanigans can be found here!
Link:
How I made my Bender costume.

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Sunday, November 02, 2008

Halloween Costume Contest

Pizza's good, but where are the hookers & beer?

Sometimes it's not evident that I love Halloween as much as I do. The decorations on the outside of my house are minimal and up until this year, I had never been to a costume contest before.

For years I've been following the adventures of Rob Cockerham at cockeyed.com. He is exciting, talented, dimple-cheeked and modest. These are things I like.

Every year Rob creates elaborate Halloween costumes, then attends massive costume contests in California where the top prizes are huge cash awards, sometimes thousands of dollars. This year, Rob was my inspiration.

2008 marks the return of Futurama. A number of full-length feature movies have been created and the first two have already been aired. Showing my love for Futurama, and Bender in particular, I made a Bender costume. Here is the link to how I built it.

Days before Halloween I noticed two local restaurants were having costume contests. Since our annual Halloween party almost always falls on the same day as these pub, bar and restaurant contests, I've never been able to attend one. But this year Halloween (and thus, the parties and contests) fell on a Friday.

I phoned the Whistling Walrus and asked a few questions. I learned that the crowd would be cheering for their favourite costumes and the top prize was a Future Shop gift certificate, but they would not disclose the amount.

The Boston Pizza near our University was judging the contest the same way, with crowd cheers. Top prize there was $200 cash for best male, and $200 cash for best female. I decided this would be the one I'd attend.

At 10 p.m. Suz and I loaded the components to my costume into the Insight and drove about 1 kilometre to Boston Pizza. Inside, the bar was starting to fill up. Many people were dressed up, but nothing as elaborate as the manager in his totally authentic Ghostbuster costume! I mean, this thing looked like it actually worked. I could practically smell the ectoplasm on him, but maybe that was melted cheese.

I don't want to go to robot hell!The staff was dressed up and many of them loved my costume. Costumed people entered the bar area and many times rushed over to me to pose for pictures. I loved this! But I had never been to a contest before and didn't know how to work the room. I was very nervous. Luckily the Pope calmed me down and I went back to the bar where I calmed my nerves some more - and fueled my power cells at the same time.

Just before 11:30 the Ghostbusting manager made an announcement that the contest was going to start soon. The bar was packed. Every table had 6.2 people crammed around it and it was difficult to walk around. It was getting so full that people began beaming in.

Suddenly the crowds parted as a Christian Bale Batman and a Heath Ledger Joker entered the bar. They were, in a word, phenomenal. Batman's voice was perfect as he commented to me, "nice costume." The Joker moved about the room easily winning people over.

A few minutes later the manager called all contestants to the front. There were just under 20 people entered in the contest. The rest of the bar, well over 100 people, watched carefully as we all stood at the front.

After each name was called, that particular person climbed onto a table and the crowd cheered. The Pope garnered a huge applause. The transvestite did too. The morals of the bar were split.

One of the Incredibles got a big cheer, as did the red Power Ranger. Batman put on a great display and his his applause was excellent. But the Joker stole the show. With his slick hair and evil stares, the Joker was clearly winning the bar over. The applause was thunderous. I knew I had lost but decided that I was still very happy that so many people loved my costume and wanted to talk to me about it.

My turn came to climb onto the table.

The manager helped me up and I turned to face the crowd. As I slid my Bender helmet over my head I became deafened by the cheering. The bar erupted as I held my cigar and waved. People stood up. An entire table chanted "BENDER! BENDER! BENDER!" at the top of their lungs. I snapped my magnetic cigar onto my mouth and the crowd doubled their effort! I was amazed! I couldn't believe how strong the love was for beer-drinking, black-jack-playing, thieving Bender.

I stepped down, proud of my effort. I thought to myself, "That was close, but I think I might've won!" After a short tally the manager came back with his mic to hand out the prizes. 2nd place male went to.... the Joker! Everyone clapped and cheered. The manager then handed me the envelope, the one containing the $200 cash prize, and announced, "First place goes to Bender people!"

The Joker gave me a knowing grin from across the bar. After a few pats on the back from my fans, I went outside and congratulated the Joker on a good battle. I talked to the manager again and walked around meeting more people. I thanked all the meatbags who cheered for me before heading home, the giddy winner of Boston Pizza's 5th annual Halloween Costume Contest.

One more:
Bender & the manager.
Link:
How I made my Bender costume.

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Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Candy Oscars 2008 - Part 5

Dr. Scab offers his finest, scabbiest treats for your eating pleasure.

Today, the wait is over. Halloween is here, and I've rolled out the bloody red carpet because it is a special occasion. This is the first time I've chosen a best chocolate for Halloween.

Is it true that good things come to those who wait? If you've waited this long to buy your Halloween candy, perhaps not, as all the good stuff is likely gone. But if you've stuck around to see the final installment of the Halloween Candy Oscars 2008 you're in for a treat.

Crummy candy companies like to shrink their standard chocolates to the tiniest sizes they can get away with. They call these dwarf treats "fun size" when the reality is they are not fun at all.

Everyone knows that with the exception of hamsters, small things aren't fun. Bigger is always better, so why are these candy companies trying to trick us into thinking small is the new fun? History will prove that society will not fall for this bit of trickery. Especially if companies like Hershey have anything to say.

Reese is the Pumpking. Ew. Huh?Around here, it is always a challenge to find Halloween-themed chocolate. But when the rare few companies put the effort into making these once-a-year treats, I will always return the favour by buying them, eating them, then excreting them. One of the best finds on store shelves is the Reese Pumpkin. Roughly pumpkin-shaped, this peanut butter delight is bigger than a regular Reese Peanut Butter Cup. Other than the size and shape, it is identical to a regular 'nut cup, which is, fantastic. Its pumpkinish shape makes eating it an even happier experience, if that is possible. Only something gory or oozing could possibly make the Reese Pumpkin better.

Enter Palmer and their tasty Dr. Scab's Monster Lab body parts. The excellent artwork on the box features body parts bursting through a rotted coffin, and even a Jacob's ladder. When the outside of the packaging is good, what's inside usually follows suit.

Inside the box, each chocolate is individually wrapped in recyclable foil. Choices are double crisp fingers, ears & toes, peanut butter filled lips and fudge filled eyes. Oozing body parts and crunchy digits make eating fun!The foil around each chocolate is printed in colour, and specific to each body part! This attention to detail is exactly what I look for in my 'ween candy. At first I wasn't expecting these to be good. To be honest, I was expecting that cheap water chocolate that's so horrible you'd rather eat your own mother's disemboweled internal bits. But I was totally surprised to find that this chocolate is very, very good. It was extremely sweet and tasty to the max.

The chocolate (and the peanut butter for that matter) in each of the opponents is not really comparable because they are so different. So, it is a matter of your own personal preference. But, considering the environment, the Palmer chocolates are a no-brainer as the packaging is 100% recyclable vs. only 50% for the Reese Pumpkin. The Monster Lab's gruesome foil wraps for each body part are a real bonus and it's because of this prime Halloween detail that I have to conclude 2008's Halloween Candy Oscars by awarding the best Halloween chocolate to Palmer for Dr. Scab's Monster Lab body parts.

Two totally green, stitched-together-but-still-oozing-a-little-bit Frankenstein thumbs up for the sweet chocolate, and the wicked foil wrap on each one. This kind of treat really puts the big-name chocolate companies to shame as they put greater care into making kids' Halloween nights (and the belly-aching days that follow) super-duper special.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 4.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 3.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 2.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 1.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Candy Oscars 2008 - Part 4

Kids, don't eat candy you find laying around inside haunted houses.Watching all these Freddy & Jason movies at Halloween has really got me in the mood for cutting and slashing. As you can see, with Halloween just around the corner, I'm really cutting it close with my Halloween Candy Oscars!

Sticking with that theme, I'm moving on to best gummy candy for 2008, starting with the gory body parts found inside the Spooktacular Mansion. The mansion is essentially a shoebox. On the box is a cartoonish haunted house surrounded by goofy-looking ghosts with their tongues hanging out, a couple of bats and a few truly evil-looking jack-o-lants, perhaps to offset the silliness.

For less than nine dollars you get 70 gummy body parts. These body parts include severed ears & noses, a poppped-out eye, gruesome disfigured hillbilly teeth and, confusingly, a pair of lips. But really, the lips may be the most frightening gummy of all as you feebly attempt to imagine of how this precision act was accomplished. Yes, the mystery of how the lips were sliced off will gnaw at your brain while you gnaw on the surprisingly un-bloody lips.

The colours of the Spooktacular Mansion gummies are simple and muted. In fact, there really are only two colours on the gummies: pink and white. But the eyeball contains a black pupil of death that's worth mentioning.

Kids, don't eat grandpa's dentures.The overall detail on the Spooktacular Mansion gummies is not excellent. There are air bubbles and imperfections in them. In my twisted & scrunched opinion, however, this actually adds to the effect of the teeth, my favourite of the bunch. The overall flavour of the gummies is good. They're not the best I've ever had but there is nothing bad about them and if I caught you throwing one out I'd smack your face. You heard me.

Dead set (pardon the pun) on regaining the title after losing last year, Frankford has brought back their creepy coffin full of Gummy Body Parts for another go at it. For about eleven dollars (just below the average donation to GreenPeace) you get 100 gummies. Body parts have remained the same with a bloody nose, dismembered foot, severed ear, severed thumb, eyeball and set of Dracula fangs.

The Frankford gummies are very yummy. My mutated taste buds prefer their bloody flavour over the Spooktacular Mansion gummies. The colours are also very good. Blood is red, while skin tones are pink. Other details are white.

If you enjoy displaying your candy rather than eating it, Frankford wins, first with their superior detail on the actual body parts and again with their creepy, nifty and cardboardy reusable coffin display container. If you love all things Halloween and always wanted a coffin displayed in your bedroom but your mom wouldn't let you because uncle Christopher was starting to stink up the place, this is a good compromise.

These are the kinds of details that really send great companies over the top. For their superior Halloween packaging and overall better gummies, Frankford wins yet again as I award them the Halloween Candy Oscar for the best Gummy Body Parts. Two vampire fangs up for their good wholesome gummy flavour and the super special coffin they come in. Eating blood body parts hasn't been this fun since, well, last Hallowe'en.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 3.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 2.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars - Part 1.

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