Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1

No diamonds here. But for Halloween freaks, these candy rings are top shelf.

Dearest boys and gouls, you've waited long enough. It is time. Time for what? For the bloodiest, creepiest, Halloweenyest Halloween candy countdown Canada has to offer - The Halloween Candy Oscars 2009! And celebrating my 5th-and-a-half anniversary doing so. May the best Halloween candy of 2009 win!

I decided to start off 2009's Halloween Candy Oscars by sucking. And by sucking, I mean ramming creeptacular lollipops into my mouth. As you may or may not know, I usually compare a couple of different Halloween-themed treats, then choose a favourite. This year, however, will suck (pun intended), as I wasn't able to find comparables for every category despite a few nice surprises on our store shelves.

One of those surprises happened to be Frankford's Monster Lollipop Rings, or, if you're French, Bagues sucons en forme de monstre. I haven't seen these in Canada before and assume these monsters crossed the border without passports.

A tombstone on the bag proclaims the contents to be 25 rings. Upon counting, I discovered this was true, with one package accidentally containing two Frankenstein Monster heads. The other two shapes are a sinister jack-o-lantern, and an evil skull. The breakdown was:
10 Frankensteins
10 Skulls
5 Jack-o-lanterns

Honey, what do you think of these engagement rings?The package shows all three rings being displayed by what appears to be Frankenstein's green, grizzled hand. It also states that the rings are fruit flavoured. Since it did not divulge what those fruit flavours were, I tried all three.

The Skull was my first. It was an opaque white, and initial detail was reasonably good. Upon sucking the skull, the sunken eye sockets and other markings faded. It was sweet, as a fresh skull would be, but I couldn't ascertain the intended fruit flavour. If vanilla and sugar were merged into candy form, I suppose this would be it, although I'm probably very wrong.

Second was the rare Jack-o-lantern. Detail was again, decent, but it was much more obvious in terms of flavour. It tasted like an orange creamsicle... with just a hint of werewolf blood.

Finally, the horrifying Frankenstein Monster tantalized my tastebuds while he perched on my finger. Although glossy and smooth, facial features and neck bolts were still obvious. Apple was clearly the flavour, but it was muted.

Overall, their flavours were a little dull. Kids will find the lack of taste far more horrific than the ghastly faces. But when it comes to unique Halloween-themed candy that's as fun to look at as it is to eat, Frankford is hard to beat. And maybe that's why nobody really tried to compete against them this year. Absent from stores were Harry Potter Blood Pops (also a Frankford product) and Jolly Rancher's Creepy Pops.

PhotobucketHowever, I did find ONE other creepy lollipop: the Spooky Lip Pop. They are not small at 23 grams each, and only sold individually. What makes it so expensive, and impressive, is the huge plastic zombie mouth which replaces the traditional stick. Sucking on one of these babies instantly transforms you!

I chose watermelon, as it is one of my absolute fav flavours. And it was very good. Indeed, the plastic zombie mouth with creepy, cracked zombie teeth was awesome, but at a dollar apiece, Flix Candy "Big Stuff Lip Pop" is hardly cost-effective to give out at Halloween. And what exactly am I supposed to do with the plastic zombie mouth once I'm done?

In the category of lollipop, the Monster Rings are a more logical choice, even if they didn't quite win the taste test. It was a close one, but 2009's winner for best Halloween Lollipop? Frankford's Monster Rings, by a warty witch nose.

Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2

Labels: , , ,


Blogger Grant said...

The academy awards would probably be better if they quit submitting more than one movie per category.

I hope some kind of peanut butter cups take home the top prize.

2:16:00 PM

Blogger SJ said...

Mmmm skulls!

7:23:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

My apologies! I found another "suck"er type product.

8:07:00 PM

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

Yay Yippee Hooray!
I've been waiting for this!

I love warty witches noses!

Candy on!

11:08:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

"Candy on" I love it! So Wayne and Garth.

11:30:00 AM

Blogger TheatreChick73 said...

And now Halloween has truly begun! It's not really the Halloween season until the candy awards come around :)

10:54:00 AM

Blogger Akhor said...

What a great idea! I cann't wait to read the other categories!

11:39:00 AM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

and this post is by someone who never goes to visit lost loved ones at the cemetery... these candies look TOO SCARY for me to even try!

10:03:00 AM

Blogger Michael Manning said...

HA! I recall this wonderful series from years past, Martini! Bravo!!!!:)

3:46:00 PM


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home


This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.