Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Cop Stag, Unknown Doe

Stag & doe prizes include food, drink, and an iron. Yes, an iron.Proudly, with a brand new iron in hand, Suz and I returned home after a fundraising evening known as the Stag & Doe. Handing over hard earned money to the cash-strapped bride and groom is a great way to support your friends. And coming home with multiple door prizes is a nifty way of them saying "Here, take this as a token of our appreciation. I don't know where it came from. Somebody's mom probably."

And yes, I chose an iron. Confused? Eye-ron. That's right. The hot thing used to flatten my pathetic, tattered high-school clothes which I continue to wear decade after decade. Because I can't afford anything new. Because I never have any money. Because I'm always giving it away at these stag & doe things.

The good news is that the styles are starting to come back into vogue. Did I just use the word Vogue? Madonna would be proud. I'm going to strike a pose now, just to give it that 100%. What "it" am I talking about? I don't even know.

What I do know is that I came home from officer ST3's Stag & Doe with a box of tasty Waterbridge Occasions candies (an "Assortment of Chocolates & Toffees" to be exact), a package of Baileys Filled Chocolates, a box of Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread Rounds ("Rounds" is fancy Scottish talk for circle-shaped cookies), some Hot Apple olde style cider mix, a giant blue mug to drink it from, a bowl made of that ever-popular glass stuff, a pair of super neat-o candles, a Durabrand iron, and a sweet can of Spray Starch to stiffen up my flaccid rags.

I'm really looking forward to going on a sugar high, followed by a mad ironing rampage. If I end up hurting anyone in the ensuing orgy of destruction, at least I know a great cop who'll be kind to my puny wrists, and his wife-who-works-with-lawyers who can find one to get all the charges dropped.

And if not, they'll go down with me as accomplices.

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9 Comments:

Blogger SJ said...

Oh man you have friends in high places.

11:38:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Funny how they couldn't help me with my exhaust ticket tho... Why did I give them money again?

10:36:00 PM

 
Blogger Michael Manning said...

I can read the newspaper headlines now: "DeLorean Fan Goes on Rampage with Electric Iron". Byline: "Strikes Pose like Madonna When Police Arrive!" :D))!

11:44:00 PM

 
Blogger Becky said...

I never wear anything that has to be ironed. I refuse to buy hubby shirts that aren't wrinkle free either. We wear tshirts in this house!

11:46:00 PM

 
Blogger TheatreChick73 said...

I'd have to be on a sugar high to do any ironing. That door prize was well planned!

12:49:00 PM

 
Blogger honkeie2 said...

I love door prizes, its like they did not want to throw it out so they gave it to someone else to throw it away.

1:18:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

I wore a shirt to work today - and I ironed it with the new iron! YEEE-HAWW!

3:24:00 PM

 
Blogger Monogram Queen said...

I always enjoy your stag & doe posts!

I will definitely post/read in October. Definitely.

4:26:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

*Editors note - I recently discovered that I was totally wrong about the "lawyer" business. My apologies to everyone who thought I knew some big shots who could help you get out of jail. Please, stop sending me bribes - I can't help!

7:56:00 PM

 

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