Halloween Party 2007!

Saturday marked the 16th annual Halloween bash at my humble abode, a creeped-out house full of ghoulishly haunted paintings, freshly severed heads and delicious food. By the time 8 o'clock rolled around the jack-o-lanterns were lit, the wind was blowing, and the gravestones were creaking. Because they were styrofoam. A few minutes later I brought them all inside, because the wind had knocked the wind out of them. Ha.

Typically, guests don't begin arriving until about 9 p.m. But this year they were so excited they started arriving early. And I can't blame them. The lure of our mysterious special guest was overpowering. And the stuff, oh the stuff!

It didn't take long for things to get dirty. Sumo Ryan was getting some action almost immediately. Not even a pure evil and vile entity like Demon Chris, with his eyes of horror, could resist Ryan's large Asian man-breasts.

This year was a bit surprising as many guests, including myself as Doc Brown, seemed to join forces and create an 80's theme. My sister's old Brownie dress became a shirt and Rainbow Bright lit up the room with her amazing homemade costume and non-homemade Sprite. She also lit up everyone's appetite for drinking with her super awesome number 1 Polar Bears.

It may have been in bad taste for pregnant Catholic schoolgirl Tracy to pose with her pimp/lover/cousin Big Brett from the big city, but she did it anyway, much to everyone's chagrin. Luckily Mel Gibson, goin' commando, was there to offer his assistance in performing an actual, real C-section with his actual, real sword that could actually really hurt if he actually, really stabbed someone with it - but luckily he didn't.

Creeping past 10 p.m., who should arrive and get the party going but the one and only Kid Rock. Things really got out of hand when he inspired sexy shenanigans in all the happy drunks. But the shenanigans continued and soon even Charlie Brown could not resist Sumo Ryan's sexiness, and had to get in on that sweet topless action. Some of the guests said they were vomitting from the alcohol but we all know it was Charlie Brown's lack of restraint causing the spewage.

It was a tiring night for all, as there was much running up and down the stairs visiting the psychic up in the den. Fortunes were told and the occasional life ruined. But for those rare few who may have or may not have recieved some unwanted information, drinks were free all night long and bartenders were happy to hand 'em out to anyone with an empty plastic cup.

Even Darth Vader finally had to take a break from all that manipulation. What a trooper though (not a Storm Trooper), hanging in until every mind had been toyed with.

By the time 4:30 a.m. rolled around, the last few guests cabbed it home while 6 others jumped into various beds and futons, completely zonked from the partying. Afterwards, comments were super awesome. Such as when my neighbour told me, with the biggest smile ever, that it was the best party she and her husband had ever been to. It couldn't have been a nicer compliment! I hope we can live up to it next year.

Check out last year's radicalness here.