Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Dead Heads Are Dead

We used to buy Dead Heads, we used to be cool.

It’s October, and my favourite time of year is clawing at the front door. As you may or may not know, I am a freak for Halloween. Reading Patti-Cake’s post about Lewis Barrett Lehrman got me even more excited and I remembered it was almost time for my most prestigious Halloween Candy Oscars event.

Let’s face it. Candy is one of the most important parts of Halloween, and ‘ween is the only time of year when taking candy from strangers is acceptable.

Whilst candy-shopping I was very upset that, for the 2nd year in a row, I was unable to find Charms Dead Heads. Remember Dead Heads, the skull-shaped sucker? The one that turned your tongue blood-red? The one that made you strangle your little sister for her last one?

Yes, you’d do just about anything, however unsavoury, for a Dead Head.

If you were lucky enough to have experienced THE best lollipop in all the land, you’ll be upset to learn the upsetting news I have discovered from Tootsie Roll Industries, Charms’ parent-company.

From: martini
Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 1:31 PM
To: info@tootsie.com
Subject: Request for info from tootsie.com

Bonjour, For years I have been unable to find Dead Heads in stores, which is extremely upsetting, considering they are one of the absolute best Halloween candies around, and THE best lollipop ever made. Could you tell me where they're distributed, and when they might be on store shelves?
Thanks so much,

A few short hours later came the blunt reply.

The skeleton on the bag is so zealous about Dead Heads, he's popped his own head off.
From: Andrews, Susan [mailto:sandrews@tootsie-roll.com]
Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 5:12 PM
To: Mr. Martini
Subject: RE: Request for info from tootsie.com

Sorry to disappoint you, Martini, but Dead Head Pops were discontinued two years ago.

I wrote back once more, proddifying Susan for more information about the skullicious pops:

From: martini
Sent: Tuesday, September 25, 2007 5:23 PM
To: Andrews, Susan
Subject: RE: Request for info from tootsie.com

Konichiwa Susan,
Thanks for the quick reply. This is sad news. Is there a possibility of a replacement (or better yet, a revival) sometime in the future?

When I read Susan’s reply, a tear rolled down my cheek.

From: Andrews, Susan [mailto:sandrews@tootsie-roll.com]
Sent: Wednesday, September 26, 2007 11:46 AM
To: Mr. Martini
Cc: Balow, Robert
Subject: RE: Request for info from tootsie.com

Martini, thanks for the follow-up. No plans for either replacement or revival. Sorry.

I noticed she cc’d a fellow named Robert Balow. I hope ol’ Rob is a not a hit man out to silence me as a I spread the dire news of Dead Heads demise to the ‘ween-loving populace, but rather, a wise decision-maker who could bring back our beloved, bloody skeletal lollipops.

Halloween just doesn’t feel the same without them. Voice your opinion on this radical Dead Heads poll!

Labels: , , ,


Blogger Ms. Creek said...

proud of you for going straight to the source to find out instead of just whining about it...like most useless men would doo!

8:43:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Gee Ms. Creek... whatever are you implying? (wink, wink)

9:30:00 AM

Blogger patti_cake said...

I'll keep my eye out cos' you never know if/when a bag might show up and i'm pretty sure they have a long shelf life.
Vive Le Halloween' !

1:44:00 PM

Blogger Katie said...

Oh no! Nothing worse than finding out one of your favorite things has been discontinued.

6:13:00 PM

Blogger K said...

Ahaha! Good job! Way to take initiative! I was more of a Caramilk girl myself. I knew the secret, dammit, and I wasn't going to tell anyone! As I got older I realised everyone pretty much new it, but when I was seven, I thought I was the smartest kid in the land. Good times.

10:21:00 AM

Blogger K said...

and that would be *knew* not new.

10:22:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Chocolate is excellent, but it is so difficult to find Halloween shaped chocolates. If you have any leads, I'd be ever so happy.

11:12:00 AM


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home


This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.