Super Pretentious Scotch Party!

A brilliant notion crossed my mind this summer. Thanks to Dan the Tax Man, I decided to host a scotch party. In preparation, Suz and I got snooty Jazz CDs from the library, and some nice food. The invitation went out, and 3 of the 5 couples arrived Saturday night, each with a bottle in hand.

Jazz was classic, covers, modern and latin-infused. Food was crackers, dark chocolate, almonds and Swiss, provolone & brie cheeses. And most importantly, the scotches were Glenfiddich 12, Ardbeg 10, Singleton 12 and Macallan Select Oak.

Due to this facade of organization, I created the illusion that I knew what I was doing. When I began pouring the scotch it was clear that I was in over my head as my hooligan friends, desperate for a dram, cried regularly, "What's a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?"

Fearing for my life my hands began to tremble as I poured. The resulting casualty was swept up, but fearing a beating if I went off-schedule, I skipped the eulogy.

We took a vote and decided Glenfiddich 12 would be first. After my disappointing experience with the Special Reserve, I was glad to be able to try the regular expression. Group consensus: very nice and worth buying.

Next up we went with a heavy hitter. When we popped the top, non-chill filtered Ardbeg 10 filled the room with smoke. I got more than just a hint of smoked ham! Three out of four agreed: too strong, too smokey.

Third was the Singleton 12, aged in bourbon and sherry casks. None of us could detect the effects of the sherry cask, but agreed it was super duper. All four of us concurred that it was extremely similar to the Glenfiddich 12.

Finally came the Macallan Select Oak, with no age statement. Due to aging in five different casks, it was quite complex and by far the fruitiest of the bunch.

Overall favourites were a bit of surprise to me. Just before everyone drove home in their Bentleys and Ferraris, we put on our monogrammed smoking jackets, had our portraits painted, and took a vote. Results:

Glenfiddich 12: 2 vote tie with Singleton - too similar to choose
Ardbeg 10: 1 vote
Singleton 12: 2 vote tie with Glenfiddich - too similar to choose
Macallan Select Oak: 1 vote

Halloween Party 2009!

A successful Halloween party, among other things, requires that the host graduated the first grade. Good timing, or learning how to read a clock, is vital. If your timing is off, it's going to be a bad night.

Asking guests to arrive too early could have them leaving before midnight, as they get tuckered out too soon. I planned our party to start at 8 p.m., as a good party sees guests let loose for at least six hours.

During the six hours of raging, barely controllable drinking, guests inevitably hungered for not only the skullcakes and 'crack' we put out, but the healthy food too. Thankfully we put out the spread just as people like the Joker started arriving. And since the Joker is so unpredictable, it's beneficial to stay on his good side!

Usually one or two celebrities drop by for our annual Halloween party and 2009 was no exception. Jamiroquai stopped by for a bit, struck a few poses, then scrambled off in his private jet, late for a concert somewhere. Captain Jack Sparrow decided to to chill with us as well, and in typical pirate fashion, stirred up trouble and encouraged others to partake of the shenanigans. But the big shocker of the night was Tinky Winky, in all his purple glory, who entertained until the wee hours of the morning.

As if one Paper Bag Princess wasn't enough, another graced us with her semi-naked appearance half-way to contest time. The Paper Bag Princii caused shock and awe among guests when they revealed that one used to babysit the other, and hadn't seen each other in 20 years!

When partygoers started getting thirsty, yours truly in my homemade Vince Offer costume whipped out the impressive Slap Chop and slapped away everyone's troubles. The fresh fruit filled their sangria glasses deliciously and guaranteed partying for an additional 2 hours (an additional 4 for the unstoppable Joker).

Being an infomercial star made everything easier. Not only did I soak up spilled beer with my German-made Sham Wow, but in the morning I used one as a bath mat. And I know you're all dying to know, so while we're on the topic of me, yes... everyone did love my nuts.

It's hard to believe, but Abogado, the Russian Superman (an inside joke) even showed up. The timing for the costume contest was crucial, as Abogado and her husband, Indiana Jones, had to both save and defeat Russia simultaneously at midnight.

As V, Dorothy, Snow White, the Statue of Liberty and a pair of obsecene plug and outlets gathered 'round for the costume contest results, Waldo pulled a classic move and slipped in behind for the best photo of the night, captured by the CSI team of Vicki and Ryan.

First prize, and a Slap Chop, went to the Joker, who appeared to text all his friends. Although, there's the possibility he could've been blowing up a hospital. Second prize, a Graty, went to Tinky Winky who promised he would try it on Tacos, Linguini, Fettucini, Martini, and Bikinis.

As the night wore on, people slowly trickled out the front door while a few others stayed the night. Yes, thanks to good timing, our 18th annual Halloween party was a success again. Now I just have to work on updating my blog in a timely fashion.

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Last year's mischievousness opens in a new window by clicking here

Cop Stag, Unknown Doe

Proudly, with a brand new iron in hand, Suz and I returned home after a fundraising evening known as the Stag & Doe. Handing over hard earned money to the cash-strapped bride and groom is a great way to support your friends. And coming home with multiple door prizes is a nifty way of them saying "Here, take this as a token of our appreciation. I don't know where it came from. Somebody's mom probably."

And yes, I chose an iron. Confused? Eye-ron. That's right. The hot thing used to flatten my pathetic, tattered high-school clothes which I continue to wear decade after decade. Because I can't afford anything new. Because I never have any money. Because I'm always giving it away at these stag & doe things.

The good news is that the styles are starting to come back into vogue. Did I just use the word Vogue? Madonna would be proud. I'm going to strike a pose now, just to give it that 100%. What "it" am I talking about? I don't even know.

What I do know is that I came home from officer ST3's Stag & Doe with a box of tasty Waterbridge Occasions candies (an "Assortment of Chocolates & Toffees" to be exact), a package of Baileys Filled Chocolates, a box of Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread Rounds ("Rounds" is fancy Scottish talk for circle-shaped cookies), some Hot Apple olde style cider mix, a giant blue mug to drink it from, a bowl made of that ever-popular glass stuff, a pair of super neat-o candles, a Durabrand iron, and a sweet can of Spray Starch to stiffen up my flaccid rags.

I'm really looking forward to going on a sugar high, followed by a mad ironing rampage. If I end up hurting anyone in the ensuing orgy of destruction, at least I know a great cop who'll be kind to my puny wrists, and his wife-who-works-with-lawyers who can find one to get all the charges dropped.

And if not, they'll go down with me as accomplices.

Halloween Party 2008!

At 8 p.m. Saturday night, exactly 17 years had passed since my first Halloween party. The tradition continued as guests starting filing through the door with fabulous photographer RainyPete among them.

Like a zombie with his head cut off I was running around last minute trying to light candles and put the music on before anyone realized there, well, really was no party to speak of yet. Minutes later the ominous sound of gothic organs filled the house and flickering skull candles illuminated tasty food that was later smeared on the floor in drunkenly loving fashion and danced on for amusement.

As usual, delicious alcohol was free, and flowing all night long for those who dared, or were staying over. But House and Cameron were too focused on each other to care if guests were overdrinking or choking on skullcakes. Luckily there were a number of other doctors present to watch over the rest of us fools.

As the night drew on more and more friends and strangers alike filled the rooms making it hard to move around at times. Luckily Suz had prepared a lot of food and it did not go to waste as an entire starving Survivor cast arrived with the coolest homemade Tiki Torches.

One particular Survivor member happily pranced through the house declaring to all that he had immunity. However, we all know it was that mix of girly coolers and manly beer under his arm making him so zany. He disappeared for about an hour but the 12 doctors present found him and revived him.

It was a huge suprise to have 7 of 9 (Months), a giant Nintendo Wii controller, the all-mighty Wonder Woman, Red the Fraggle, and Mork from Ork show up on our doorstep. I believe I was the only one who was skeptical of Mork. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I bet my shiney metal ass it wasn't the real Mork. Dying to prove me wrong, he showed me his sleeping position.

The very loose TV theme was a hit attracting a number of characters including an actual TV, a pile of garbage as a commentary on what is on TV these days and a super awesome Mr. Rogers who was in desperate need of a drink.

Lucky for me in my homemade Bender costume, alcohol fuelled my power cells and I was required to drink all night. I used my evil powers of persuasion on Mr. Rogers and soon we were best drinking buddies. Forget Fry!

I couldn't have been prouder than when Mike Holmes came through my house and, aside from the severed heads laying about, couldn't find anything wrong with it. He did, however, have a big problem with Chris 'the extra' who was having naughty fun with pen & paper around the food. Nobody dared mess with Mike's massive muscles so we just watched and smiled as he doled out a good hammering.

Around 11:30 we decided it was time for the costume contest. All of the 40 guests drunkenly scrawled their favourite choices for Most Original, Funniest and Best Costume. There were a lot of close races despite 105% of the ballots being illegible.

A bottle of Captain Morgan's Original Spiced Rum went to Christine the TV dinner whose homemade peas, steak & potatoes won her the title of Most Original costume. A Dooley's Toffee Liqueur & glass set went to the bruised and battered winner of the Funniest Costume, Chris the Extra, who spent a whopping $2 on his costume; a cup of coffee from Starbucks. Best Costume was a close call. Mike Holmes lost by one vote to his brother Dr. House, who, for his efforts, took home a Bacardi Superior Rum gift pack.

Bragging about his win, Chris the Extra suffered more beatings as the night drew on. After midnight a number of people cabbed home or hitched rides with strangers. Ugly Betty wisely decided to stay longer and party with the cool kids, and we all danced the night away. It wasn't until the rest of the meatbags had left that Mork revealed his true identity to the shock of everyone but me. It was our good friend Ryan under that red suit all along!

Thanks for coming everybody! I hope you all had fun, and hope to see you again in about 360 days. Check out RainyPete's group shot here.

Last year's shenanigans can be found here!
Link:
How I made my Bender costume.

Stag & Doe #2

What happens when you have 21 hours of stuff to do, but there are only 24 hours in a day? You sleep for 3 hours.

Saturday was Stag & Doe #2, a money-making event for Suz's cousin Vicki, and her man Ryan, who both share a love of karaoke, alcoholic beverages and camping.

Because Vicki & Ryan are so super-great, and really spice up our spicy Halloween parties, I was feeling generous and therefore purchased a crapload of raffle tickets. I was so proud of the staggering amount of tickets I had that I wore them on my wrists all night, showing them off. Like Wonder Woman.

Suz, using her tried and true method of dispersing her tickets evenly over all the prizes, distributed her tickets equally over all the prizes. I, on the other hand, slammed 70 raffle tickets into the one item I really wanted, a tasty Jelly Belly margarita mix set, with a really nice juice jug and glasses.

After dropping ticket #70 into the overflowing container, I figured overkill was good enough. I then dropped my last fifteen tickets into the prize I knew Suz wanted - a nice lotiony Avon gift basket.

With my last few bucks, I paid a nice bouncer to put naughty Vicki in jail - and laughed heartily while her poor dad had to combine all the cash he had left with somebody else's money just to bail her out so she could enjoy her own party.

If only it were like that in real life; I'd be broke with all the people I'd throw in the slammer.

As midnight drew near, the raffle prizes were drawn. My Avon effort paid off, as one of my tickets won it for Suz. However, to my astonishment, I didn't win the Jelly Belly drink set. I could feel a temper tantrum coming on, so I sat quietly, telling Dead Baby jokes in my own head until I felt relaxed enough to behave normally.

Amazingly, I drove home from the hall with a happy wife, her happy sister, and thanks to Vicki's super-awesome mom, the Jelly Belly drink set, which we put to use the very next day despite severe sleep deprevation.

Stag & Doe #1

Stag & Doe #1

Ah, spring. The rainy season. April showers not only bring May flowers and flooded basements, but an abundance of weddings and wedding related events. Events such as the ever popular Stag & Doe.

Stag & Doe parties are designed to raise funds for the poor, struggling bride and groom who've not a penny to their name and have no hopes of paying for their extravagant wedding unless they can squeeze a few bucks out of every friend, distant relative or acquaintance. In fact, if a blood-soaked stranger grinning from ear to ear and mumbling about his 'sweet revenge' walked in off the street with cash in hand he probably wouldn't be turned away.

Suz and I spent Saturday night at a Stag & Doe for our co-worker James whom I first met in the parking lot at work when he challenged me to a race. The race was immediately called off upon James' discovery that the ol' Talon was putting out nearly triple the horsepower of his Toyota Celica.

The Stag & Doe was a well-organized blast, with cheap drinks, great food and even greater prizes to be won. Suz and I bought twenty raffle tickets and distributed them among the prizes we'd hoped to win.

Suz, abiding by the rule of "don't put all your eggs in one basket" applied her tickets towards various prizes, hoping to win just one of them. I, on the other hand, decided to put statistics into my favour, and plopped all of my tickets into the one prize I wanted the most.

At the end of the night, both our tactics worked as Suz won a 'Fancy Cut n' Hairstylin' Certificate and I won the 'Gourmet Gift Basket.' The basket's awesome international contents are as follows:

• President's Choice White Chocolate Chunk & Raspberry cookies


• Bahlsen Truffet Meringue/cocoa/chocolate biscuits


• Vicenzi Grisbi Classic Lemon & Ginseng biscuits


• Lindt Lindor milk chocolate bar


• Lindt Lindor milk chocolate balls


• Werther's Original caramels


• St. Dalfour Wild Blueberry Deluxe Spread, or 'Jam' to us reg'lar people


• Carr's Poppy & Sesame Thin Savoury Crackers


• Starbuck's Latin America Medium House Blend coffee, and finally...


• a box of 8 massive Mrs. Fields Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chip cookies

I suspect a tummy ache of Snuffalupagus proportions is right around the corner.

A Funny New Year

Suz and I made some special plans for New Year's Eve this year. Not "rides the short bus" special, but "very fun and different" special. We drove into the big city for a show, a show, and a party.

Our first stop was Toronto's totally geriatric Massey Hall. Actually, it was dinner across the street, but that wasn't much of an event. My old friend Rob Scott, the piano wiz you may remember from this post, invited us for 3 reasons, 2 of which were piano performances.

He, along with Great Bob Scott, was playing the musical introduction/interludes between stand-up comics at Massey Hall for their 7th Anuual New Year's Eve comedy show. The show ran from 8:00 till almost 11:30 and was hosted by Royal Canadian Air Farce comedian Jessica Holmes and featured many famous and hysterical comedians such as Last Comic Standing Finalist, Gerry Dee (who I like to say is best known for his bee-ar and the hoe-ney joke.)

One of the funniest guys we saw turned out to be a really distant "friend of the family". And I'm totally using that phrase in the loosest sense as he actually only knows our sister-in-law out in Vancouver.

After the comedy we ran across the street, Suz on her feets, I on my cane, to the Pantages Hotel where Rob entertained for the lounge-crowd and ushered in the new year with some fancy piano action and an emotional rendition of Auld Lang Syne which had the entire lounge singing & dancing.

Finally, just after midnight, we headed up to his room and celebrated his birthday, about 30 minutes too late. One of the comedians from the Massey Hall show, a friend of Rob's, joined us along with about 14 others including Rob's producer, Jaymz Bee. It was an enjoyable evening with shenanegans all night long. Unfortunately, 3 a.m. rolled around and Suz and I had to head for home, crawling into bed at the ungodly hour of 4:00.

To hear more of Rob's music, check out his music links here.

Multi-Christmas

This year Suz and I are having multi-Christmas due to a change in our standard Christmas plans. And it has already started. So, I offer you this simple phrase, to men from 1 to 92; although it's been said many times, many ways: my apologies.

Yes, my apologies to all the men out there who are just about to start their Christmas shopping this week - because not only did I finish my shopping weeks and weeks ago, but gift-opening has already begun.

It started Saturday night when we attended Tonton's annual Christmas party. The evening was full of good times, Jesus action figures, and the house was decorated to the max. We indulged in rich chocolate desserts and fancy beverages till the wee hours.

The house was full of elaborately decorated Christmas trees, just like this one, their 20-footer. Outside, the snow storm transformed their yard into a winter wonderland. Unfortunately it also transformed the roads into a driving nightmare.

The next morning we were completely snowed in. Which was actually quite enjoyable, because Suz and I held our own Christmas in the cozy warmth of our fireplace. Breakfast was the typical Christmas feast of chocolate and candy from our ravaged stockings, and later we took the Talon out for a spin, literally, in the snow.

Later this week we'll be exchanging presents with my sister and parents before we head off to Vancouver for our final Christmas with Suz's family. I'm very excited about the trip and find it quite fun to do something different this year. I promise next year everything will return to normal, IE - no shopping until December 24th.

Halloween Party 2007!

Saturday marked the 16th annual Halloween bash at my humble abode, a creeped-out house full of ghoulishly haunted paintings, freshly severed heads and delicious food. By the time 8 o'clock rolled around the jack-o-lanterns were lit, the wind was blowing, and the gravestones were creaking. Because they were styrofoam. A few minutes later I brought them all inside, because the wind had knocked the wind out of them. Ha.

Typically, guests don't begin arriving until about 9 p.m. But this year they were so excited they started arriving early. And I can't blame them. The lure of our mysterious special guest was overpowering. And the stuff, oh the stuff!

It didn't take long for things to get dirty. Sumo Ryan was getting some action almost immediately. Not even a pure evil and vile entity like Demon Chris, with his eyes of horror, could resist Ryan's large Asian man-breasts.

This year was a bit surprising as many guests, including myself as Doc Brown, seemed to join forces and create an 80's theme. My sister's old Brownie dress became a shirt and Rainbow Bright lit up the room with her amazing homemade costume and non-homemade Sprite. She also lit up everyone's appetite for drinking with her super awesome number 1 Polar Bears.

It may have been in bad taste for pregnant Catholic schoolgirl Tracy to pose with her pimp/lover/cousin Big Brett from the big city, but she did it anyway, much to everyone's chagrin. Luckily Mel Gibson, goin' commando, was there to offer his assistance in performing an actual, real C-section with his actual, real sword that could actually really hurt if he actually, really stabbed someone with it - but luckily he didn't.

Creeping past 10 p.m., who should arrive and get the party going but the one and only Kid Rock. Things really got out of hand when he inspired sexy shenanigans in all the happy drunks. But the shenanigans continued and soon even Charlie Brown could not resist Sumo Ryan's sexiness, and had to get in on that sweet topless action. Some of the guests said they were vomitting from the alcohol but we all know it was Charlie Brown's lack of restraint causing the spewage.

It was a tiring night for all, as there was much running up and down the stairs visiting the psychic up in the den. Fortunes were told and the occasional life ruined. But for those rare few who may have or may not have recieved some unwanted information, drinks were free all night long and bartenders were happy to hand 'em out to anyone with an empty plastic cup.

Even Darth Vader finally had to take a break from all that manipulation. What a trooper though (not a Storm Trooper), hanging in until every mind had been toyed with.

By the time 4:30 a.m. rolled around, the last few guests cabbed it home while 6 others jumped into various beds and futons, completely zonked from the partying. Afterwards, comments were super awesome. Such as when my neighbour told me, with the biggest smile ever, that it was the best party she and her husband had ever been to. It couldn't have been a nicer compliment! I hope we can live up to it next year.

Check out last year's radicalness here.

88 Miles Per Hour!

Look closely at this picture, and you'll notice that I not only dressed up as Doc Brown for Halloween, but I dressed up my DeLorean as well. Those two black things on the back of the car are the 3rd most awesome feature about the Time Machine from Back To The Future - the cooling towers.

Of course the coolest and second coolest features are Mr. Fusion and the Flux Capacitor, respectively.

I know it's not the most original idea, Doc's radiation suit, but I knew I could make it entertaining for the night of our party. I lost the shots of me actually making the costume, but here's the breakdown: Doc's suit consisted of painter's coveralls purchased at Home Depot for about 8 bucks. I had to spray the wig white for an additional $2.99 Then I painted the neon orange strips with fabric paint from Michael's for about $1.59. I cut the hood off and sewed the collar. The pattern on the back required me to make a stencil, then dab it with black paint until it looked like this. Pardon the wrinkles.

I decided that I really had to go all out with my Back To The Future-themed costume this year, and transform the car as well. Yes, the car would look rather cool by itself. And yes, stepping out of it dressed as Doc Brown would be pretty radical also. But what would make it even better? Cooling towers.

First I needed to see if I could make the cooling towers. I grabbed some cardboard I had lying around since June 2006 and got to work. After almost 2 hours of trial and error cutting and fitting, I had them.

Yep, the cooling towers on the DeLorean looked nifty for sure. But I still needed that wow factor. So I asked myself - what would make the cooling towers even better? Answer - If they worked.

I asked my friends and family for their used toilet paper rolls and began constructing a smoke-delivery-device. Using the greatest invention of all time, Duct Tape, I fashioned a bendy tubing system that would lead from my fog machine up into the cooling towers.

But I was worried that the smoke would just blow any which way, so I had to think up a way to direct it out of the cooling towers. The answer was easy. Nozzles.

I grabbed some more duct tape and more cardboard tubes and slapped together a pair of nozzles. I tapered the ends so the smoke would be pushed out with some amount of force. Otherwise, it would just float slowly and carefree. The real Doc Brown would disapprove.

Assembling everything on the car was easier than I thought it would be. I had enough room to practically climb inside the cooling towers. The nozzles were securely fastened to the tubing with more sturdy duct tape. Click here to see an interior shot of the first attached nozzle.

Once the second nozzle was in place, I connected the tubing to my fog machine and gave it a test run. I've never made anything like this before, and did not know what to expect. *Here* is what the fog machine setup looked like.

The night of our party I was very nervous. The fog machine worked, but the smallest amount of wind blew it all over the place - and it was a very windy night! On top of that, it started to rain. I knew the cardboard wouldn't hold up well, and crossed my fingers that the rain stopped. Back here in 2007, we're still 8 years away from 2015's Weather Service.

But luck was on my side as the rain stopped and I was able to entertain friends as they came to the door. The Time Machine was a hit! Here, Braveheart and... Cleopatra? check out the car. Successfully completing this costume brings back such good memories of last year's Duffman.

Update: I've been entered into Rob Cockerham's costume contest at Cockeyed.com! The exact link is here!

Halloween Party 2006

Fifteen years ago, during high school, I decided I wanted to start having Halloween parties. Back then they were simple. Chips, pop, one creepy candle, and 6 or 7 friends in our unfinished basement watching a scary movie.

Things are different now.

The amount and quality of the food has multiplied, and the drinks have mostly changed to that sort which have inebriating effects on the non-preg people who consume it. And luckily, all of my friends are happy drunks.

I started planning my costume 3 years earlier, but never got around to actually making it. Last year's phenomenal Zombie thing pushed it back yet again, and this year, as a contrast to last year's evilness, I decided that I absolutely had to finish it. After a lot of hard work (and some not-so-hard work thanks to Arr, the Kraken's beer-belt instructions) I was Duffman! OH yeah!

By 9:00 p.m. there were quite a lot of costumed people squeezing past each other in the foyer, and half an hour later the party was in 5th gear.

Inspired by the house drink of the evening, Suz's cousin made a stunning blue, white & red entrance as a Bleeding Smurf. I don't know how well Smurfs can handle their alcohol, because it wasn't even midnight yet when this particular Smurfette tumbled her three apples down the stairs.

Meanwhile, Doctor Est, the breast doctor, was offering free examinations all night, while a demon-eyed, Angel-esque vampire spent the night looking for new victims and influencing his wife to help Dr. Est with the 'hands on' portion of his examinations. Upstairs, animatronic freddy Kreuger scared anyone on a journey to the bathroom. The toilet didn't get flushed much, but the floor needed constant mopping.

When the judging for best costume started, Jedi Kevin, weilding a 'real' lightsabre, attempted to influence the judges while others, like the fully decorated and lit-up Christmas Tree, tried to sneak closer for some eavesdropping. Even Rainypete, yes, THAT Rainypete, got in on the action.

Down in the Dungeon, drinks were flying thanks to the main bartender, Suz, and a number of guest-bartenders including Pirate Brett who made me a tasty concoction which I lost, and 80s White Snake-ish dude, >Ryan.

When everyone's bellies were full of beverages and chocolate, we held the Best Costume contest. The judges were myself, Suz, Penny, Chris and Robin. We agreed upon five favourite costumes: Austin Powers, the Vampire, the Christmas Tree, the Bleeding Smurf and Pirate Brett. In order to convince the other party-goers that they deserved the coveted Best Costume trophy, they had to act. In less than a minute they worked out a most hilarious, tears-rolling-down-your-face skit, which I video taped for years of future enjoyment, and maybe a little blackmail.

Everyone voted via almost-secret ballot, and the best costume trophy (an Oscar-like gold skeleton holding his own head) went to Vicki, the Bleeding Smurf. I assume she'll have some pics posted on her blog, but Duffman offers no promises. OH no!

For more pics of party wackiness, click here.
And here.
And even here.