Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Bleeding Smurf

Smurfs are only 3 apples high before you pop 'em in the blender.I couldn't have hoped for a better childhood than growing up in the 1980s. With Hanna-Barbara cartoons and PSAs like "Time for Timer" molding my brain every Saturday morning and every day after school, it's a wonder I have any social skills. The 80s was a happy decade, full of puffy Pac Man stickers, Robotix, and Smurfs. And who doesn't like the Smurfs?

I'm sure this drink has other names, but "Bleeding Smurf" is probably the most appropriate. The Bleeding Smurf is a super-sweet blue and red Martini served in one of the local bars which our old neighbour used to own. Since she doesn't own the bar any longer, and since she probably didn't invent the drink, I don't feel bad about posting the secret ingredients of this super-awesome beverage.

I have reverse engineered The Bleeding Smurf for everyone's drinking enjoyment. After experimenting a few times, I believe I've perfected it. In a standard Martini glass pour:

• 1 shot Blue Curacao
• 3/4 shot dry Gin
• 3/4 shot Malibu Coconut Rum
• 5 ounces of fresh-squeezed Smurf blood. (Kidding! Only 3 ounces.)
• Fill the rest of the glass with lemonade.

Finally, slowly pour some cold Grenadine down the side of the glass until it forms a small pool of red in the bottom. For a tasty alcohol-type flavour, drink the juicy goodness from the glass slowly. For mega-sweetness, stir up the blood and have a sip.

With the pain in my feet growing more and more unbearable by the day, I sometimes need to find relief in the world of alcohol. I don't want to become an alcoholic, and I don't plan on it, but I sure do enjoy a sweet, sweet drink.

For those coming to the 'Ween bash this year, The Bleeding Smurf will be the house drink. It's a fine replacement for last year's Zombie and I doubt there will be any disappointed taste buds in the house.


Blogger Louisiana said...

i don't think alcoholic drinks...hmm, let's try that again, i shouldn't have any alcoholic drinks because of all the meds i'm in and their intereaction (and because i kinda crash big time after having just a a couple of drinks..hide the knives, hide the pills, my world falls apart at an instant ;p ) but once in a while i go wild, whoo-hooo and have one..i'm not at all knowledgeable about drinks so i'll take your word that this is good..have one on me or for me, which ever is how you say it..

why do your feet hurt so much hon? and is there anything you can do to make it better or take for it?

4:08:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

My feet hurt due to either a pinched nerve or nerve damage in my spine. I'm taking a very strong medication, however, it's just not enough. I'll let you know how the MRI and EMG go. Hopefully I'll have an answer before Halloween.

4:26:00 PM

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

Well shit too bad I live SO-O-O-O far away and can't come enjoy a bleeding smurf with y'all *pouts*

4:57:00 PM

Blogger Vicki said...

I'm pumped about the smurf drinks this year! Hmm.. now I have to think of a good halloween costume to go with drinking bleeing smurfs....

6:11:00 PM

Blogger Jerry Bowley said...

Well Smurf me! This sounds like a Smurfy drink! If I could be there for Halloween, I'd probably Smurf so many that I'd end up Smurfing all over the livingroom and Smurfing-out in the can!

Still, I bet it would be a Smurfing good time!

6:22:00 PM

Blogger Vengelyne said...

I only have 1 ingredient out of the rest -- Malibu.

Sponsors, anyone? I'm not even sure if I can find the Blue Curaco thingy... but then again, I hardly drink so I wouldn't know.

Welcome back, Martini! =D

8:46:00 PM

Blogger mmat said...

that's a much more creative drink than one of my highschool favs - Creme de Cacao and YooHoo.

10:05:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

YooHoo? People still drink that stuff? I'm totally intrigued.

LOL @ Cuppojoe.

Thanks Venge, I have a few posts lined up, so I shouldn't be disappearing any time soon.

11:49:00 AM


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