Weekend Alky Disaster

Like some twisted Stephen King novel it would appear that I foreshadowed a nightmare, but in reality, I'm just not that smart. I'm not saying I'm not smarter than the above-mentioned hack, I'm just sayin' that I ain't done none of that foreshadowing hooey.

On the long weekend, Suz and I settled down to watch the time compressed, edited-to-fit-my-screen, Ella Enchanted, on TBS, starring Anne Hathaway and featuring Eric Idle of Monty Python fame. In preparation of an enjoyable evening, Suz poured us some "fancy drinks", as we like to call any alcoholic beverage that is tasty in nature, and set them on our coffee table.

Getting ready for an exciting evening of Ms. Hathaway and company, I picked up the goose down couch pillows and began plumping the sh*t out of them. During the plumpification of the pillows, one of them hit my glass of Southern Comfort & Coke and sent it crashing down atop our glass coffee table.

"What the f#@%?!" were the words that I think came out of my mouth. I'm not entirely sure as the panic escalated with Suz yelling, and both of us scrambling to grab paper towels.

For the next 15 minutes, I basically ran back and forth from the kitchen, mopping up the sticky spots on the hardwood. During those 15 minutes there was a heck of a lot of cursing. Why couldn't it have been water? Why couldn't it have been juice worth 6 cents a glass? Why did it have to be my most favourite drink in all the land? And slightly expensive at that? And, why did it have to be the very last of the Southern Comfort?

Gone. All of it. (Except for the mouthful I slurped from the tabletop before Suz yelled at me)

In a foul mood I sat my angry ass down and tried to catch up on Ella Enchanted. Thankfully, the plot was not so difficult and the movie turned out to be the kind I enjoy. At least when I'm not in the mood for guns, karate, explosions, race cars or monkeys.

And, thankfully, TBS is one of those crackpipe stations that doesn't have enough programming to fill its broadcast day. So, while the end credits were running, squashed on the bottom of the screen, Ella Enchanted was starting all over again, squashed in the upper left-hand corner. So, in the end I got to see everything I missed. However, what I really missed was my drink of yumnicity.