My New Cabinet

After living in our garage for a year, my DeLorean finally gets to sleep next to a piece of "furniture" instead of an unsightly array of car-cleaning products and towels.

My search for a cabinet failed miserably yesterday. But my hopes were up a little when Suz suggested we try the one store we hastily skipped; Zellers. When we scoured the furniture department there last night, my heart sank. I couldn't find any utility-type cabinets anywhere.

But on our way out, I spotted a generic cardboard promo with a pic of the exact cabinet I wanted. Then Suz found it, in a long unremarkable box, on the bottom shelf. I had walked right by it, ranting about "no good furniture" or some bloody crap like that.

I bought it, took it home, and ripped it open. Inside the cardboard box were the chipboards of possibility, and screws of happiness. I examined the pieces to make sure they were not damaged, gave Zellers a mental thumbs up, and began assembling my new cheap-ass cabinet.

I didn't care that it was bare, exposed chip-board on the insides of the doors. And I didn't care that the plastic handles were so thin I could almost see through them. The cabinet was the right size, and equally importantly, the right price: Cheap!

I plugged in the battery for my drill, and while it charged I started assembling the unit by hand. As convenient as cordless drills are, I still like doing things the old-fashioned way; the way my grandpa did when he built cabinets. I even have a few of his old tools, some of which belonged to his grandfather.

My patience grew thin, however, so I unplugged the battery charger and started using my cordless drill instead. With about 15 minutes of cordless 12 volt action, I had completed the cabinet despite the retarded instructions telling me to screw BF003748Ax into Board "D" then attach Board "C" using screw BF003748Fz. WHA?

Anyway, just before midnight my nice white CabinetWorks cabinet was complete. Now Gary Coleman can sleep over, undisturbed.