Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Maytag Washer Woes

Step 3: Insert six Gremlins and shut the lid. Step 4: Tun on and wait a few minutes.

I've come to a conclusion. I don't ask "why me?" any longer because I know the answer. It's not me. The question now, is not "why me?" but rather, "why do people lie?"

My entire life I've been told such absurd things like, "oh dear, that's never happened before. You're the first person ever to blah blah blah."

Or: "That's impossible. I've never heard of that blah blah blah."
Or: "Wow. That's a first. During 30 years of business nobody has ever had that problem blah blah blah."
Or: "We may just name this disease after you blah blah blah."

Well, it happened again. Our washing machine broke. Our stylish white Maytag Fabric-Matic, model A182, is a timeless 70's design. Possibly. Or possibly not. We don't know. In fact, nobody knows how old it is.

My dad is wise appropriately to his years. Not wise beyond his years - because he is very old. In his many years he has encountered many a problem with many a machine; some that wash, some that don't. He told me to call Sutton & Son as they were, in his words, "appliance geniuses".

But when I phoned and explained the problem, the first genius had no idea what was wrong and transfered me to another technician. So I explained, for a second time, that after the wash was complete and the washer is expelling the soapy water, it would shut off with a loud Ker-bang! The only way to start the machine again was to open and close the lid. This gave me another 5-6 seconds of soap drainage followed by another Ker-bang!

Annoying as it was, I had to get all the soapy water out. So I sat there for 20 minutes opening and closing the lid. Once the Maytag filled up with fresh water again, the rinse mode worked fine.

That's when it happened again.

The geniuses at Sutton & Son told me that in all their years they have never heard of such a thing happening. In complete disbelief, the tech tried to research the problem on their system. When I told him it was a Maytag model A182, his computer yielded absolutely no information on such a model.

He thought long and hard about the problem, then told me that what the machine was doing was impossible. "Impossible or not," I told the technician "that is exactly what the machine is doing."

Now - I'm not stupid. I know there are others out there who've had the exact same problems I've had in my life. So I don't want to hear some weakass explanation of how something has never happened before. I'm not that special.

Oops. I'm going off on a tangent, a relevant one, but a tangent nonetheless. So, let me conclude with this: tech wanted to come to our house with parts and attempt to fix the machine. But he wouldn't work after 5:30 p.m. or on weekends, which meant one of us would have to take a vacation day to accomodate the repair.

Since we are the first people ever in the history of the world to have this problem with a Maytag washer, Suz and I decided the tech would not be able to repair it - and our quest for a new washer has begun.

~ update! ~


Blogger mmat said...

how odd! when my cell phone stopped working, the people at Fido told me the EXACT SAME THING! apparently fido cell phones never stop working. kind of like energizer batteries and US presidents named George Bush.

12:41:00 PM

Blogger Cuppojoe said...

Sounds to me like you've proven yourself to be wise beyond your years...

Happy Washer Hunting!

(P.S. Go for a front-loader... They look cool and, if they ever fail to drain, you've got an awesome soapy mess to play around in when you open the door!)

1:26:00 PM

Anonymous Mainman said...

Also, front loaders expand the life of your clothes significantly - you know that pair of jeans you love to wear but can't find anymore? with a front loader, you add a few years of life with the denim looking new and fresh!

3:56:00 PM

Anonymous Mainman said...

I meant "extend" not "expand"...

3:57:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Front loaders, both the heavy-earth-moving-machinery-type and the regular washing machine type, sound pretty radical.

5:21:00 PM

Blogger redheaded said...

okay, not to throw a wrench in the washer (har har) but is that BLEACH behind you on that pic? as environmentally minded as you are.....do you really put that in the water??? hmmm. need we have this discussion?

12:02:00 AM

Blogger Rainypete said...

If this only happened with this load instead of all the loads you may have a perfectly healthy washer. Those Maytags have an off balance load sensor in them that stops them with a mighty thunk whe. the load is wobbly, which may explain why it worked fine for the rinse cycle. This sensor is resest by....drum roll please........opening the lid fully!! Just for a laugh, next time it happens you may want to rearrange the clothes in the barrel a little and try to run it again.

Unless you want to buy a new one in which case....yeah it's probably really broken and should be disposed of as soon as possible to avoid the destruction of your clothing and maybe even the known universe itself.

7:36:00 AM

Blogger Chana said...

i like your attitude...no longer it's you ...i need to learn that...give classes? :)

sorry about your troubles...i love maytag...the least problems i have had with anything...

i go for a front loader too, like Joe said...they are awesome..expensive but worth it i think...of course neither of us own one but i will someday...

8:12:00 AM

Blogger patti_cake said...

I think I would definitely try what RainyPete said. I hate it when household shit breaks down :(

9:57:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Pete, I'm gonna wring you out like a wet towel! Arrrrgh! You're right! After reading what you wrote, I remembered that my parents had a washer that did that when I was a teenager. The only thing is that my parents' machine would wobble and clunk around for a bit before it shut off - and ours isn't wobbling at all.

Also, in the back of our washer where the water lines enter, the panel is bent outward and two new wires are attached to some shiny new thing in there, meaning I think it has been repaired before we took possession of it along with our house.

So I'm gonna pretend the machine is still broken and that we didn't just waste a grand last night at Leon's!

12:21:00 PM

Blogger Rowan said...

damn, wish my dad was still alive.
His father and him owned a washing machine sales and service company in the west end and he was very good at telling me what was wrong with them.

My maytag is the fancy schmancy LED button press, electronic style. I don't know if he would have known how to fix that, but ya know? the water not draining (I can tell ya this) is a very common problem that my dad fixed daily and happened to our own machine before. It needs a part...just wish I knew what one it was now.....but like I said, very common, usually the first thing to go on the machines and maytag is the very best of the best I can tell you too. So, since you've had it as long as you've said, maybe you are wise to pack it in now....I'm not sure.

1:06:00 PM

Blogger Rowan said...

oh and yes, front loaders are awesome, but don't be a cheapskate like me, buy the 400.00 riser thingys so taht you don't break your back loading the wet clothes into the dryer....but yes, my front loaders rock!

1:08:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Funny thing - Suz specifically told me not to let the sales guy talk us into the height-pedestal thing. It would be nice. But we spent more than we had anticipated and got a higher-up model, which pretty much broke the bank.

3:57:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Ellie - I forgot! Yes, that would be bleach. I know this is going to sound odd, but even though it's in the laundry room, we never use it on our clothes. In fact, I can't remember the last time we used it. I don't even know why we have it.

10:34:00 AM


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