Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Cake Rules

Mmmm, brown!

There's a rule in my car: No food. Ever. Suz has always thought that was a crazy rule, but then again, I'm a pretty crazy guy.

Last night we celebrated. After temporarily filling a supervisory position for two years, Suz was finally given the official corporate thumbs up. The job is now hers. We decided this was cause to spend some green, and so began our night o' fun, aka the night o' disaster.

When we finished our Casey's meals we ordered dessert. Had I weighed the piece of chocolate cake that Suz got, I wouldn't be suprised if it hit double digits on the scale. The thing was massive. It was the size of a baby. You could see it from space. It could have fed a starving Ethiopian village for a decade. Do you get what I'm saying? It's size was large in nature.

Knowing she was going to order this cake, Suz specifically ate a small amount of dinner, saving room for the beheomoth cake. The remainder of her weird Teriyaki/Szechwan/Noodle thingy was placed into a styroafoam container. However, this doggy bag was not destined to survive.

Soon realizing that complete consumption of the cake would likely blow an internal gasket, Suz stopped eating. She barely finished 1/3 of it. The cake was also placed in a doggy bag. The two styroafoam containers were stacked in a plastic bag, we paid our bill and left.

Outside, the rain caught us by surprise. But we got in the car with minimal wetness and I started the car. As we drove away diaster struck.

"Oh no." calmly came two not-so-calm words from the other side of the car.


"Oh no." There were those two words again. Words that, on their own aren't so bad, but combined, are not very good at all.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh no. I think I spilled."

Barrelling towards the parking lot exit, I took a chance and glanced over at Suz, who was holding her skirt in such a way as to catch the river of Teriyaki/Szechwan sauce while her other hand held the plastic bag in such a way that the massive pool of brown sauce did not spill onto the floor mat.

I cranked the wheel and we pulled into the very last parking space. Suz calmly opened her door and stepped into the rain. There, on the month-old seat of our precious new Honda Insight, was a gloppy brown puddle of spicy sauce.

Simultaneous "shit"s came out of our mouths. Suz ran all the way back to the restaurant in the rain while I made sure the bag didn't leak. She returned, soaked, with a huge handful of wet-naps which did an amazing job of getting the sauce out of the microfibre.

Inside the bag the sauce had penetrated the chocolately dessert. Suz decided to toss it all. The noodles. The 6 lbs. of cake. Everything. Garbage. All we had left was our memories...

And a new rule for the car.


Blogger Ham said...

That is that saddest thing I've ever heard. Poor Szechwan-saturdated chocolate cake. Give Suz my condolances.

12:45:00 PM

Blogger Princess Lo said...

sorry to hear about the cake :) poor suz having to get soaked in the rain. i kept my promises PCIT's website is updated

1:39:00 PM

Blogger Cuppojoe said...

Can somebody explain to me why take-out containers have these great, flat bottoms to them, but the bags they put them in are tapered? Isn't that just asking for trouble?

1:48:00 PM

Blogger Chana said...

1. she is beautiful, lucky man!
2. the cake is huge! yummy...
3. car rules eh? talk to Joe then for me...when i met him i explained i had rules for my van. no food/drinks, nothing...well so much for that...i had my 5 kids trained so well and he pleaded the case for his then 3ish yr old and how she needed to snack and drink and there went my rules..and of course then my kids were allowed: McD etc...oh i cried/beg/complain to no avail...now, i have given up..i have a guy and 6, count them, 6 who eat/drink etc...my perfect van is no longer... oh i love that man, i must! ;)
4. Suz is a good woman to have risk hypothermia and pneumonia (he, he) to 'save' the seat and your heart...

enjoy the long wknd..take care both of you..

1:04:00 AM

Blogger Vengelyne said...

Omg. If it was my bro's car, be it an old junk or a cool-looking car such as yours, he'd be screaming his head off at any spilled food or drinks in the car seat...

You certainly handled the situation very well... and Suz, too!

11:05:00 AM

Blogger chaindropz said...

Sorry about your spill. I have a blog called chaindropz solutions. I have a picture that can show you how to prevent some spills. I don't think it would have prevented your spill.

12:29:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice picture Sue.

9:08:00 AM

Blogger patti_cake said...

OMG take-out containers that leak make me postal. I had a lovely oil/vinegar mess on my Curious George seatcover Friday thanks to a greek chicken salad.

9:54:00 AM

Blogger SJ said...

Poor car what you do to to her...

BTW you are famous I have mimed you in my blog. Take a look.

10:06:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Chana, I think my math skills are accurate here. (6 kids x food)+ minivan = The Apocolypse.

V - I guess most guys are the same everywhere huh? Inside my brain I had a tantrum. I think I lost a few brain cells because of it.

Hey SJ, thanks very much!

11:49:00 AM

Blogger chaindropz said...

Thanks for looking at my blog. I have 6 blogs one is on Fighter Aircraft in Veitnam. Also I have a link to a vedio you may like. you can google search Oshkosh Trucks propulse if you have trouble with the link.

12:54:00 PM


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