Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Cadbury Crunchie Con

The mice are getting bigger. And smarter. And now they're on a sugar high!

I'm tired of corporations cheaping-out on their products. At this point I'm not saying that Cadbury, once an A+ company, has cheaped-out on their fabulous Crunchie bar, but let's look at the overwhelming evidence against them.

In recent months Suz and I have noticed something. The chocolate surrounding their Crunchie bar has diminished in quality severely. It tastes like the "water chocolate" Easter bunny that your cheap uncle Stan used to buy for you when you were nine.

However, the Cadbury website claims that the chocolate surrounding the Crunchie bar is "rich, creamy 'Dairy Milk' milk chocolate."

What a load.

Suz and I purchased a Dairy Milk bar for testing purposes. It was a 100 g. bar, and it cost $1.77. Our objective was to determine if the chocolate on the Crunchie bar is what Cadbury claims - "Dairy Milk" chocolate. We tasted the chocolate with a scientific mindset and told our tastebuds to judge it fairly. We quickly realized it was far superior to the Crunchie chocolate, and that the two were not the same at all. The Results of our Experiment: It was most definitely not the same chocolate enveloping the Crunchie bar, and Suz had something to say about that.

To: Consumer.Relations@brandspeoplelove.com
Dear Cadbury,

Your chocolate is the most delicious in all the world, but sadly I've recently noticed a change in my favourite bar, the Crunchie. It seems the chocolately coating is not the same Cadbury chocolate that it used to be. Is a different, inferior chocolate now being used to coat the Crunchie bar? If so, please add my letter to the pile that I can only assume is growing, and once a sizeable mound of mail has accumulated, please heave it onto the president's desk.

In all seriousness, can you tell me if this is a permanent change or if there is some hope for the original Crunchie's return?

Yours truly,

And their reply, which they should be thoroughly embarrassed about:

Dear Suz,

Thank you for contacting us about Cadbury Crunchie. Your comments and inquiries are appreciated because they provide valuable feedback about our brands. Cadbury Schweppes has been making great brands that people love for more than 200 years. We are proud of our family of beverage and confectionery products and are committed to providing a wide range of choices for all individuals.

We will forward your comments to our Marketing Department for review.

Thank you for taking the time to contact us. We hope that you will continue to purchase and enjoy our products.

Consumer Relations


Um, what? We didn't ask for a history lesson here. What kind of customer service is that? The nameless customer service rep, probably afraid to be fired if he used his real name in that ridiculous excuse for an answer, sidestepped the issue entirely. But the rep made an even bigger mistake. He didn't deny the chocolate recipe change. And we all know what that means... It's true.

So, what did they think? That they could quietly slip this inferior chocolate bar onto our shelves? Did they think their life-long customers were a bunch of stupid twits who wouldn't notice? Did they think we would still buy their crappy chocolate bar? Well.... yeah, I guess they did. Boy, were they wrong.


Blogger patti_cake said...

Hey at least y'all pointed it out to them and they will know that their under-handed tactics are being noticed. Damn corporate !@#$%^^ I notice every time I like something they either A) change it in a way I DON'T like or B) Discontine it. *sigh*

12:56:00 PM

Blogger Cuppojoe said...

The sad thing is, that's most likely a form letter that you received (the same one they'd send to someone who was overjoyed about a change in the chocolate), and your original letter was probably just filed away without being given to attention it deserved.

I saw we march on down to the Cadbury factory and go all Willy Wonka on their ass!

1:53:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Yes, that's another problem for sure! Every time I find a product I totally love, it gets discontinued. I agree with Cuppojoe. It's time to go "Willy Wonka" on their asses. Maybe someone can get in contact with the Kool-Aid Man too? We might need him to bust into the factory.

2:38:00 PM

Blogger Chana said...

i'm so glad that we got you both to look after all consumers like me who take the time to complain and wine about all sorts of issues but do nothing about it. thank you.

what a truly useless form letter they send back. i guess that shows how important customer care is. sucks.

10:45:00 PM

Blogger Chana said...

hey i was just closing the page and saw my blog and Joe's...wow! now That Feels awesome...Wahoo!!!!

Now that is a confidence booster...ahhhh, you melt my cold, cold heart, lol....

the pressure, now i have to be interesting....lol....

ahhhh, thanks!

11:00:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Hey, no problem. I enjoy reading, and hopefully others will too!

12:30:00 PM

Blogger harleyquinn said...

it did change, if you notice, the good tasting one has a purple wrapper, the shitty one a gold wrapper, and, you can't find the good one except occasionally around Halloween...

4:25:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

No way! I was not aware of that. Awesome info, thank you harleyquinn. It's possible we're still getting the odd shipment from the U.K. which may be the better-tasting ones.

5:44:00 PM


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