Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

An Experiment

Supplies required: 1 banana, lots of Sprite, 1 idiot.

According to my pal Krevin, the Banana-Sprite Challenge is designed to test the mettle of even the toughest stomach. Thinking the Banana-Sprite Challenge was lameass, I accepted.

It was a mistake.

The rules of the Banana-Sprite Challenge are simple: Eat a banana, then immediately chug as much Sprite as humanly possible. According to the laws of banana-carbonation-lemon-lime dissention, your stomach will purge its contents.

"No way" I contested. I just could not believe that was possible. I was confident that I would not regurgitate the creamy banana-spriteshake in my tummy.

Phase one was acquiring the banana, for eleven cents at Food Basics. Bananas were 33¢ per lb., so my banana was a 1/3 of a pound. We then purchased a 2L bottle of Sprite, made by the Coca-Cola Company. With all our supplies, our shopping was done and the experiment entered Phase two.

Krevin is radical.Lorbo had invited us over to her place for the experiment, so that her and baby Carter wouldn't be bored. With Krevin documenting everything, I sat down and ate the banana. Lorbo and Krevin had poured me tall glasses of Sprite. I drank the first glass very quickly. I usually don't drink pop at all, so it was slightly difficult to swallow with all the prickly-hurty bubbles in my throat. But, I toughed it out and drank the second glass as well. By the time I had finished the 2nd glass, Lorbo had filled the 1st one again and, obeying my thirst™, I grabbed it from her. About half-way through the third glass I started feeling a little odd. But I powered through and started on my fourth glass.

Things were really slowing down at this point. As well as feeling really weird, my stomach was basically full. I only downed half of the fourth glass, for a grand total of 1.5 litres of Sprite. From start to finish, it had taken me around 7 minutes to eat the banana and down the Sprite.

When I stood up I discovered I had a problem. I did not feel well at all. In fact, I couldn't stand completely upright. It was like being stuffed full of the biggest roast beef dinner ever, and totally hammered, but without any of the awesomeness associated with being wasted. After 20 minutes of feeling like I wanted to die, I decided I had had enough. The fingers went down the throat.

My 5 minutes in the bathroom completed "The day of vomiting" or "Pukefest '06", following baby Carter just doing what comes naturally, and Krevin - due to a night of drunken Karaoke.

An hour later, at my parents house, the rest of the Sprite came out naturally - for about 3 minutes straight. I had a hard time explaining that one to my dad, but at least now he knows not to accept the Banana-Sprite Challenge.

13 Comments:

Blogger Cuppojoe said...

Classic documentation of an age-old summer camp trick. We used to do it with bananas and ginger ale, but the effects were the same... Except 8 year old boys don't need to use their fingers to begin the purging!

11:16:00 AM

 
Blogger Vengelyne said...

Man, that was madness!!! I can't believe you accepted the crazy challenge.

And the pic of your head hovering above the toilet seat is a classic. I only see drunkards doing that mostly. =P

Glad you survived the challenging ordeal. I hope you had fun, at least? ;-)

12:33:00 PM

 
Blogger patti_cake said...

I am feeling slightly queasy just thinking about the banana-sprite challenge. Erk.

2:37:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Yep, I survived and it was fun, up until a point. Then it was torture. Sadly, I haven't learned a thing from this experience.

3:13:00 PM

 
Blogger Rowan said...

I'm imagining what it must've tasted like regurgitating that! I think I'm going to barf right now! Seriously!

But, I've never heard of this trick before. Maybe I can con my husband to do this.

3:14:00 PM

 
Blogger Chana said...

hey that bathroom is cute with all the Coke things. nice shot of you too..

i hadn't heard of such a challenge but i can assure you i trust you completely and will take your word for it, i won't need to test it out..yuck! poor stomach, poor toilet..

glad you are feeling well again and that your dad has another story to tell your future kids ;p

you are too funny.

3:38:00 PM

 
Blogger Rainypete said...

Sounds like fun. I know what I'm going to try for dessert next time!

7:52:00 AM

 
Blogger cathouse teri said...

I have a sneaking suspicion you may have gotten nearly the same response just by guzzling that amount of sprite!

Don't despair. You may have come up with a new diet book!

9:03:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

cathouse teri - I agree. It did cross my mind that the Sprite alone could cause such horrors.

1:41:00 PM

 
Anonymous beepbeeph said...

Marty, Marty, Marty when will you realize that Krevin is a bad influence on you. You both need a hobby.

6:49:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Krevin says swallowing Lego is good for my kidneys. Is that true?

2:56:00 PM

 
Blogger Maisha said...

eek!i hate making out with my toilet bowl!you have strange fantasies,mart....;)

nice,extremely funny blog you got here.again tnx to chana for introducing me to the useless men!

6:38:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We did that at summer camp, only no swallowing--one bite of banana, one cup of ginger ale, hold it in your mouth as long as possible. Kids stood in a line to see who projected the result the furthest across the lawn.

7:14:00 PM

 

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