Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, May 28, 2007

No Bones For My Rocky

The wild bikicus carrius is lured by the sexy open door of the Talon.I am riding my bike in the Becel Ride For Heart on the DVP this summer, but I am not quite sure how I'll be transporting my bicyclette there. I do not have a bike carrier. And I absolutely do not have the Saris Bones bike carrier.

I bought the Saris Bones bike carrier from the bike shop where I used to work. Then, I returned the Saris Bones bike carrier to the bike shop where I used to work.

I forked over $150 smackers for the moulded bits of plastic and aluminum, a carrier so universal it's supposed to fit everything from Toyota Tercels to Chev Corvettes to Dodge Caravans. I mean this thing fits everything. It probably even fits the Bugatti Veyron, although the intense engine heat might melt the Bones' substantial rubber feet.

But it was not meant to be, and my $150 smackers were forked back to me. The factory spoiler on my not-so-factory Talon was too thick for the bike carrier's hooks. The curve of the hook suffered an intense amount of crushage and my paint nearly suffered an equal amount of chippage when I tried to close the hatch.

Chippage and crushage, like chips and Orange Crush, are not on Canada's Food Guide For Healthy Living, so I had to return the bike carrier. I suppose I will have to chuck my bike in the back, with the seats folded down, and hope I don't pop my L7 trying to lift it out on June 3rd.

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Blogger Rainypete said...

You could suck up to a neighbor to get it loaded in and some random folks at the the ride to get it out and reload it for you. Just make sure you look extra pained and have a whole whack of random braces velcroed to every available appendage on your body. Never underestimate the power of pity. Unless it's Revenue Canada.....they didn't budget for pity.

8:24:00 PM

Blogger patti_cake said...

Um, a bungee cord maybe? I'm just sayin' You always have the most colorful dilemmas!

10:29:00 AM

Blogger Vengelyne said...

Push down your back seat and shove it through the car boot? Iono... I don't own a bike and don't know any friends who bring their bikes in their cars.

12:58:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

What's an L7 anyways? Some kind of ultra light bike tire? Or have you found an inflatable seat called the L7 to solve the problem of your having an unconditioned ass?

2:15:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Didn't L7 used to be a band? I wonder what happened to them. Their popularity bubble popped?

12:31:00 PM

Blogger honkeie2 said...

I got a nice bike rack at a garagae sale for 5 bucks. And it works great.

1:43:00 PM

Blogger Arlene said...

Don't you just love when universal isn't quite universal??

7:13:00 PM


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