Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas Jimmy Dillnuts!

The bicycle lane on the 401 turned out to be a bad idea.

Jimmy Dillnuts doesn't deserve a Merry Christmas, but something tells me he's gonna have one anyway. Jimmy has caused lots of trouble before, but he always seems to escape the jail time and license-suspension he so rightfully deserves.

Although it's not possible to see the damage in this picture, be assured that it is there. Something large, approximately human-sized, crashed through the windshield of this Toyota or non-Toyota car in Toronto.

The accident happened about 60 seconds before Suz & I arrived at the scene. The emergency vehicles were still passing us on the shoulder as we approached. Worker McDude was just starting to drop the orange pylons on the road when I took this picture.

We slowly merged with the three other lanes of traffic, and squeezed past this scene. A quick glace back at the car verified my suspicion that something large, belonging to one Jimmy Dillnuts, elegantly entered the car via the centre of the windshield, and injured the driver.

But maybe I've got Jimmy all wrong.

I didn't realize just how thoughtful Jimmy is, giving his fellow humans some relaxing Hospital time during this very hectic Christmas season. What a wonderful gesture. A comfy, adjustable bed, free food, being waited on by a courteous staff of servants. Talk about generosity!

I'm so sorry I misjudged! Merry Christmas Jimmy Dillnuts! Merry freakin' Christmas.



Blogger Bub said...

Santa Dillnuts comes early huh?

I often see one of his replicants when I'm in the Ferrari. Every one of the dumbasses think: (a) "Outta my way...me first!"
(b) "I'll show this Ferrari what I got!"
(b) "Man I drive good."
(c) "Look at all the people watching me."
(d) "I'm the man!"
and the optional......
(e) "I sure do love my mullet....yuuuhuh."

Bloody moronic Dillnuts.

4:29:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

Merry Dillnuts....I mean Christmas to your clan there Martini!

Beware of fat men breaking into your house to leave presents, just leave Freddy on guard, that oughtta do it!

1:50:00 AM

Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

merry christmas to you and suz and make sure you leave that fat man lots of cookies to eat.

peace, friend.

9:50:00 AM

Blogger Lori said...

HEY martini!! i just wanted to wish you a very merry christmas!!!!

2:07:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Thanks everybody!
I hope everybody had a good holiday too. I'm back at work, but New Year's is just around the corner...

10:54:00 AM


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home


This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.