Jimmy Dillnuts, You Rascal

We had a visit from the Police on the weekend, all thanks to the wreckless driving of one Jimmy Dillnuts. This time, Jimmy is in hot water.

On Saturday my wife, Suz, was eyewitness to Jimmy's reign of destruction. Unfortunately I was not in the car with her, and I therefore did not get any pictures of the carnage.

Although a day early (Jimmy Dillnuts always seems to cause accidents on Sundays), Jimmy still came through with flying colours.

The scene: Suz stopped at a red light with Jimmy Dillnuts hot on her tail. Jimmy didn't seem to like the fact that Suz obeys the law. Multiple eyewitnesses declared that he accelerated up to approximately 100 kph (double the posted limit) and swerved around her. By the time he got to the red lights, two boys were already halfway across the street, walking in the crosswalk. Other cars were already in the middle of the intersection, waiting for the two boys to cross so they could make their left-hand turns.

Jimmy didn't care.

He blasted right past the boys, narrowly missing them. He plowed straight into the car turning left, and sent it flying into another car sitting at a red light on the opposite side of the intersection. When all three vehicles came to rest, people were screaming, people were crying.

People came upon the scene and asked "what happened?" and "whose fault was this?" Everybody pointed to the red Ford Explorer and said "That guy ran the red." Even Jimmy's parents stumbled upon the accident and were thoroughly embarrassed by these answers.

Victims of Jimmy's lunacy were taken by Ambulance to local hospitals. When the area was clear, Suz gave her name to police, and came home.

A few hours later a police officer came to visit us, in order to get a written statement from Suz. She wrote the details down on the form provided by the officer. He read her description, and asked her some questions. She answered the questions.

The police usually charge the person turning left with Impeding the Intersection. But the officer told us how surprised he was to see that all the statements he had taken said the exact same thing - the Ford Explorer ran the red. Unfortunately, because of the strange circumstances, with one car turning left, he said this will likely go to court, and Suz will have to testify to what she witnessed. He told us there were a number of injuries, with the most serious being a girl with a broken collarbone. And then as swifly as he came, officer 863 disappeared.

Jimmy's Goin' To Court! Yeeee-Haw!

To the Judge: If you don't take away Jimmy's licence, the person he kills could be you.