Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 2
Lately I've been working my ass off, which is nothing to sneeze at given how little ass I've got to begin with. As a result however, I've neglected the Halloween Candy Oscars. But it's not entirely my fault. So who's fault is it?
It is the fault of candy companies.
It's hard to get excited and award an imaginary award to an inanimate piece of candy that neither acknowledges its achievement nor thanks me for my effort. Like I'd mentioned in the first HCO awards this year, I wasn't able to find comparables for every candy category.
In the case of gumballs, the Pumpkin Faces gumballs were all I could find this year. Gone were last year's winner, Spooky Eyes gumballs. And I haven't seen 2005's winner, Concord Confections “Halloween Combo” since, well, 2005.
But that's not a bad thing. Looking at the bright side of things, we should count our lucky disemboweled zombie torsos that somebody still has the guts (don't pardon the pun - it was made on purpose so enjoy it) to put out a Halloween-themed gumball.
The Pumpkin Faces gum consists of orange gumballs with black jack-o-lantern details and black gumballs with white jack-o-lantern details. Orange tasted like orange, while black tasted quite different. I honestly couldn't say what it was supposed to be, but the enormous sugar content ensures it is delicious without compromise.
Gum is essentially a wad of sugar. Aside from chewing stale pus-oozed zombie eyes, it's hard to have a bad-tasting gumball. That's why Concord's amazing Halloween Combo really shined. Some spurted blood. Others discharged delectable green slime. Others still were filled with tiny candy seeds. Incredible!
But with no competition this year, the Pumpkin Faces gumballs reigned supreme. It's not an unwarranted victory though. Two severed thumbs up for the ONLY Halloween-themed gumball I could find in Ontario for 2009.
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 5
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 4
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 3
Check out Halloween Candy Oscars 2009 - Part 1
posted by Martini at
11:53 PM
6 Comments:
I just wanted to say that my word verification was "mater".
11:59:00 AM
Mater? As in Pixar's "Cars" Mater? That's effed up. It should've been something like "disembowelment"
3:11:00 PM
Wow I guess with no competition even the most morose candy can compete! Hmmmm what were the "seeds" that spilled out of the combo candy?
4:29:00 PM
The seeds were tiny and green, like miniature "Nerds" and they spilled out of orange pumpkin-shaped gumballs. Truly awesome.
10:15:00 PM
I like those cute gum balls!!! I work my ass off too but I still have lots left...so I will share with you & whom else has a skinny ass & needs more!
10:06:00 AM
You got it!
11:31:00 PM
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