Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Say 'No' To Crack

Police will stop you for possession of both kinds of crack: cocaine, and windshield.

With just under 330,000 kms, it looks like it's the end of the road for the battle-weary, tire-squealing, Christmas-tree-haulin’ Yamaha-powered SHO. All because of crack. Not the illegal kind, but rather, a bad case of windshield crack. You can view a larger photo of it here.

Just before Easter, a double arch-type crack appeared in the corner of the glass. I didn't hit anything like enormous potholes, or caribou, and as far as I know nothing fell on the car. The crack simply appeared one morning. Was it Jesus' way of telling me I should pay more attention to him, or did the windshield frame simply rust away? I'll never know.

As I drove home from work that day I heard the unique "CRIT" as another crack branched off the main arch. That one really upset me, as it was the final death blow to the poor Taurus. At least the other two arches had start and end points. But cracks that start heading across horizontally will eventually make the entire journey to the other side.

That's when the windshield will fall in on the driver's lap, slicing the legs off, and leaving the vehicle's speed uncontrollable. Typically the vehicle will crash soon after this happens. Reporters may or may not take pictures, depending on the carnage and their personal ethics.

Although I've done some freelancing, I am certainly no reporter. But I am going to leave a camera running inside the car so I can catch the whole event on tape. Then I will sell the tape to one of those "World's Craziest Video's" TV shows for just enough cash to replace the windshield - and keep the SHO a little longer.

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8 Comments:

Blogger honkeie2 said...

I had a ford taurus station wagon some years ago. It finally had it and I donated it to get some tax money on it. I miss my station wagon.....sooo much room for soooo many different positions to get into.....

2:40:00 PM

 
Blogger ZoeyBella said...

I once watched a crack in my windshield snake its way across from one side to the other. Naturally praying the whole time that nothing bad would happen. It probably would have been fine until I got out of the car and slammed the door too hard... :(

3:29:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Honkeie2, maybe you should have set up a camera in YOUR Taurus, then submitted the footage to "America's Wildest Videos".

4:13:00 PM

 
Blogger Rainypete said...

That better not happen in my Escort. If it's a Ford thing then we could all be doomed! Then again......I probably am doomed...it is a Ford after all.

11:44:00 AM

 
Blogger patti_cake said...

I got a crack in my GEO tracker convertible on a trip to Boston. It was kinda fun watching it's progress! Plus it was covered by insurance :)

12:35:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

I'd like to get a new windshield through insurance, but the SHO is my dad's, and it's a beater - so he isn't claiming anything or spending a dime on it. Oil changes? We wring our hair out into a bucket and dump it in.

5:40:00 PM

 
Blogger kate said...

and possibly make enough money to install one of those steering wheels with the gas and brakes there... since you sliced your legs off to get the money! hehehe

cheers! Kate

6:29:00 PM

 
Blogger K said...

Effin windsheilds! I lease and I have a chip I had fized....but before I bring that puppy back.....a new WS it is for me. Tra la la la la....mer.

7:29:00 PM

 

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