Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Blue Bearded Iris

Iris is a pretty flower. Yay.
In our garden we have some monster irises. Our bearded irises are a blue, a standard iris colour, and they are tall. Taller than you.

Apparently the Siberian variety is easier to grow than the bearded kind, but, even though my experience with them is limited, I'd have to disagree. Our Bearded irises are growing out of control. We can't stop them, and if their steroid-fuelled growth continues, we'll soon be homeless.

With one bloom on the stalk, our irises have been standing strong, but that single bloom soon had some company. Two more blooms joined that original bloom as the weather became hotter. With a crazed, drunken bloom party taking place on our front lawn, the stalks could no longer support the weight, making many of our irises fall flat on the ground just like drunken college kids. Or me at Halloween.

Watch out C.N. Tower...Literature states that irises grow as short as 4 inches, with some varieties reaching up to around 28 inches. The tallest iris will grow to an amazing height of just over 1 meter. One meter is 39 inches.

If that is true, our irises are flowering freaks of nature, with a whopping 53-and-a-half inches average height. That's over a foot taller than the tallest irises, according to experts. That's like, three juice boxes, a stack of around 20 Oreo cookies, or four Big Macs! Like, whoa! Damn crazy irises.

I pledge my allegiance to our new world leaders. Please don't eat me, blue bearded iris.


Blogger Chana said...

oh they are beautiful...you guys must be doing something amazingly right to get them that tall and healthy...congratulations, they are just precious...

9:25:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

Very nice, but if you fear for your life then I suggest you go out an buy an ice cream truck with enough gas to get you to the shore.

6:56:00 AM

Blogger Cuppojoe said...

I just read your blog for the first time last night... I would have commented then, but Blogger seemed to be having a temper tantrum, so I left it to kick and scream on its own.

Since I, too, have varying levels of interest, I've subscribed to your feed and will now be stalking every word you type. (I like to stalk words instead of people because they don't move as fast... except maybe "hyper", "lightning", and "flash".)

9:26:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

So, I should live in a van? Down by the river? Will my new stalker, Cuppojoe, follow me?

11:48:00 AM

Blogger Muum said...

thanks for visiting my blog.Tell me how thoe irises got so big? Maybe cuppojoe is feeding them coffee while he is out stalking?

11:09:00 AM

Blogger Rowan said...

well if you care to unload them....

10:12:00 AM

Blogger Ham said...

dear martini,

i feel like you're pretty handy. do you have any knowledge on stripping wood of varnish and how big (time consuming) of a task this might be, for instance, for a 6' X 3' bookcase?

i'm learning to be handy myself and want to know what to expect if i decide to take this route. i'm aslo thinking of just painting the wood, but this will obviously conceal the grain. that's my last resort of I botch the job.

5:02:00 PM


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