X-Caliber

Suz and I are going to be famous! While digging in our backyard I unearthed an ancient treasure of lore and the key to Great Britain's sovereignty: the famed X-Caliber!

I was surprised, however, to discover that X-Caliber is not forged of metal like the legend says. Nor is it a sword. Nor was it stuck in a rock. X-Caliber was injection molded in plastic, which must have seemed like such a rare and magical material back in the day. That would explain some of the intrique behind this incredible object.

It also probably explains why no one could pull X-Caliber from the rock except King Arthur. It probably sat there in the blazing sun for days. I surmise that the plastic melted and stuck fast to the rock's tiny cracks, craters and crevaces making it nearly impossible to remove. Sheer force couldn't budge it, but as the sun set a little bit, the plastic cooled and cracked free of the rock, making it easy for Arthur to remove.

But it doesn't answer the question of why the story claims X-Caliber to be a sword, as this is clearly a boomerang. Is this Australia's version? Is there a similar story in Australian lore of another King who removed a plastic boomerang from Ayers rock?

We may never know.

And who knows how long X-Caliber lay hidden in the ground in a small dale in Canada? Nobody will ever know, as there is no date-stamp in the plastic. In fact, there are no markings at all, save for the name X-Caliber, and three holes.

Three holes?

Yes, three holes which look like they would accomodate 3 screws. Screws which may have held it in place on a piece of wood. Some sort of board. Like a skateboard.