Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

X-Caliber

Was King Arthur a skaterboarder?

Suz and I are going to be famous! While digging in our backyard I unearthed an ancient treasure of lore and the key to Great Britain's sovereignty: the famed X-Caliber!

I was surprised, however, to discover that X-Caliber is not forged of metal like the legend says. Nor is it a sword. Nor was it stuck in a rock. X-Caliber was injection molded in plastic, which must have seemed like such a rare and magical material back in the day. That would explain some of the intrique behind this incredible object.

It also probably explains why no one could pull X-Caliber from the rock except King Arthur. It probably sat there in the blazing sun for days. I surmise that the plastic melted and stuck fast to the rock's tiny cracks, craters and crevaces making it nearly impossible to remove. Sheer force couldn't budge it, but as the sun set a little bit, the plastic cooled and cracked free of the rock, making it easy for Arthur to remove.

But it doesn't answer the question of why the story claims X-Caliber to be a sword, as this is clearly a boomerang. Is this Australia's version? Is there a similar story in Australian lore of another King who removed a plastic boomerang from Ayers rock?

We may never know.

And who knows how long X-Caliber lay hidden in the ground in a small dale in Canada? Nobody will ever know, as there is no date-stamp in the plastic. In fact, there are no markings at all, save for the name X-Caliber, and three holes.

Three holes?

Yes, three holes which look like they would accomodate 3 screws. Screws which may have held it in place on a piece of wood. Some sort of board. Like a skateboard.

8 Comments:

Blogger SJ said...

Wow what a find. While you are it can you also find the Holy Grail and end that whole controversy I am sick of reading about Da Vinci code in the news.

9:28:00 PM

 
Blogger Rainypete said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:27:00 AM

 
Blogger Rainypete said...

You know what history is like. The stories get passed down from generation to generation and alter in the telling until they are finally put to paper. Such a weapon back in those days would have been unstoppable. Maybe the three holes were to allow the blood to drain away so it could easily be pulled form the body of a foe after a successful throw??

8:27:00 AM

 
Blogger redheaded said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:52:00 AM

 
Blogger redheaded said...

are there ladies walking around with green sleeves and is there a round table?

8:53:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Blood drainage holes. Sounds completely logical. I wonder why I didn't think of that. I should have more faith in the brain-power of those Aussies.

Ah, no luck finding the Holy Grail. Yet. But my father does smell of elderberries.

11:35:00 AM

 
Blogger Rowan said...

and so, the mystery continues.

1:49:00 PM

 
Blogger Ham said...

I had elderbeery brew this weekend from 1500 BC (from what is now Scotland). It tasted like extra-malty Guiness.

1:03:00 PM

 

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