Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Lawn-Mowing War

No, it wasn't that windy out. Just doing an oil change.

You know that horrible noise you heard yesterday? No, it wasn't a prehistoric monster screaming in anger. No, it wasn't metal fatigue followed by the wings tearing off a plane that was diving uncontrollably into the earth's upper mantle. No, it wasn't Steven Page from the Barenaked Ladies attempting to sing well.

That was me, trying to push my lawn-mower.

When I finished mowing my lawn for the 3rd time I carefully followed the instructions of the manual. I'm a by-the-book kind of guy. I enjoy keeping records and making lists and that sort of thing.

So, after a total of 2 hours of mow-time, I did my first scheduled oil change on the new Lawn-Boy.

The 70 pound behemoth is really giving me a workout as I compete with my 87-year-old retired army neighbour for the best-looking lawn.

Did I mention my retired neighbour is a woman? And she's winning?

But I know she's cheating due to her retirement status. Being retired results in many hours of available mowing time, while I'm trying to find ways to sneak out of work early so I can get home and play catch-up.

However, my efforts seem to be in vain as my lawn is growing at an astronomical rate and hers resembles a golf-course green. I don't know how she does it.

I won't lie. I admit that sabotage has crossed my mind. But then my senses get a hold of me and shake me back to reality.

And the reality is, at 87, sadly, she doesn't have many mowing days left.

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Blogger Ham said...

Your lawn buddy scares me.

2:31:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

Well if your lawmower didn't outweigh you by liek 5 pounds or so you'd be able to push it around alittle better then wouldn't you?!?!

8:11:00 PM

Blogger redheaded said...

plant a xeric garden, silly, then you don't have to worry anymore about the dang mowers.

10:54:00 PM

Blogger Chana said...

at least you are out there trying..i know someone who hasn't started yet and is having a hard time finding her kiddies amongst the greens..

good luck..

10:49:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

So Pete, what are you trying to say? You know the secret to gaining weight and you're going to help me with my weight-training? What do I need to do to hit the triple digits?

11:31:00 AM

Blogger Rowan said...

ahhh the hated lawnboy mower saga continues.

triple digits? surely you jest.

this is very true, and then, in a couple of years, you'll reign supreme! I have a similar problem with my grasses.

12:30:00 PM


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