Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Signs Of Summer

Hmmm, not as salty as toilet water.

When you think of summer, do you think of how the sweltering heat melts your favourite LPs and burns the backside of your thighs when you hop into your vinyl-upholstered Vista Cruiser station wagon?

Do you imagine lounging on your front lawn in a muskoka chair with a stubby in your hand while the neighbourhood rings with the sounds of the Dickie-Dee man?

Do you long for the days when somebody would crack open a fresh fire hydrant, showering the street with cold water to frolick in?

Yesterday, in our 32 degree neighbourhood, that is exactly what happened. I climbed out of my microwave, where I was keeping cool, to see the fire hydrant flooding my street with an icy lake that cooled our tootsies and provided a refreshing treat for some local doggies.

24 hours previously Suz and I were involved in an excruciating amount of gardening. Once finished, I took a bath. The yellow-brown water kinda grossed me out.

"I knew I was dirty." I thought. "But not that dirty!"

Later, I learned the true reason for the yellow-brown water. Apparently the abandoned diarrhea factory down the road exploded, contaminating our water supply, and causing the city to open up our hydrant to drain the icky water from our pipes.

(I don't know why we have such a factory in our city, but after this incident, I'm certain the city will properly demolish it.)

A city employee dressed in appropriate city employee attire monitored the gush of the hydrant and offered some friendly conversation to distract us while he flooded our basements. After he shut the water off, he scrambled away in his white city van while we all waved 'bye-bye'

I hope those 30,000 litres of wasted water don't show up on my water bill.


Blogger Ham said...

You'd think that the water would have been noticibly stinky and brown BEFORE you got into the tub. I think there's a facet of the story you're not telling us...

5:18:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

You mean like, coincidentally I had just finished eating 18 Taco Supremes?

5:56:00 PM

Blogger Rowan said...

I hadn't noticed anything like that, do I live too far away? I hope so! (west mtn)

What diarhhea factory?
Or is taht code for some water treatment facility?

Now I'm disgustedly curious....

9:57:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

No, there's no diarrhea factory. I like to make stuff up. And I like to imagine have a job like that. Being paid to sit on a toilet all day. Sweeet.

11:00:00 AM

Blogger SJ said...

Summer in Canada is when the snow melts and the moose shed the extra fur right?

11:28:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Yeah! Basically our igloos turn to water, and the beavers start mating on the permafrost. :D

1:28:00 PM

Blogger SJ said...

Whoohoo beavers mating. I am moving to Canada.

12:41:00 AM


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