The Signs Of Summer

When you think of summer, do you think of how the sweltering heat melts your favourite LPs and burns the backside of your thighs when you hop into your vinyl-upholstered Vista Cruiser station wagon?

Do you imagine lounging on your front lawn in a muskoka chair with a stubby in your hand while the neighbourhood rings with the sounds of the Dickie-Dee man?

Do you long for the days when somebody would crack open a fresh fire hydrant, showering the street with cold water to frolick in?

Yesterday, in our 32 degree neighbourhood, that is exactly what happened. I climbed out of my microwave, where I was keeping cool, to see the fire hydrant flooding my street with an icy lake that cooled our tootsies and provided a refreshing treat for some local doggies.

24 hours previously Suz and I were involved in an excruciating amount of gardening. Once finished, I took a bath. The yellow-brown water kinda grossed me out.

"I knew I was dirty." I thought. "But not that dirty!"

Later, I learned the true reason for the yellow-brown water. Apparently the abandoned diarrhea factory down the road exploded, contaminating our water supply, and causing the city to open up our hydrant to drain the icky water from our pipes.

(I don't know why we have such a factory in our city, but after this incident, I'm certain the city will properly demolish it.)

A city employee dressed in appropriate city employee attire monitored the gush of the hydrant and offered some friendly conversation to distract us while he flooded our basements. After he shut the water off, he scrambled away in his white city van while we all waved 'bye-bye'

I hope those 30,000 litres of wasted water don't show up on my water bill.