'5-Second Rule' Doesn't Apply

Dinner at my parents has changed drastically in the past couple of years. My sister and her husband have two boys. Boys who like to make messes.

In the past there have been a number of messes made. Messes consist of food. Food is distributed along the floor or table in a chaotic manner. Food always ends up where it shouldn't be.

The carpet gets the brunt of the assault, but some very expensive table linens have been attacked as well. My mom has learned some new math since she entered her 50s.

K+F=H, or Kids + Food = High dry cleaning bills.

Anticipating more food "mishaps", my parents put down a plastic table cloth this weekend, just before the Swiss Chalet dinners arrived. Only a few greasy minutes of peace slipped past before it was put to the test. But this time, it didn't start with the kids.

It was my forty-something brother-in-law who dumped an entire cup of Swiss Chalet sauce all over the table. I guess that's where his kids get it from. But this time, nobody was concerned about the mess. We were more concerned with making sure that tasty Chalet sauce didn't go to waste.

So for the next 45 minutes, we all dipped our fries and chicken in the communal sauce puddle in the middle of the table.