Postcard Image of Paradise

Suz thinks I complain too much. Sheyuh. Like, whatever.

Here's proof.

The rest of the Ocean Blue Golf Resort was 122% more amazing and 85% neater than our room, making for a grand total of 207% increase in enjoyableness.

The pool was in 99% working order. Only one set of triple-sprinkle-fountains didn't work, which was actually a good thing since they attract tons of little yelling, splashing, shoving, peeing, bleeding kids.

I don't know if any of the kids bled in the pool, but I know they're capable of it.

The pool was totally fantabulous, and was actually two pools. Each pool was a winding, curved, twisted masterpiece with islands of palm trees sprinkled throughout. Each pool also had its own secluded circular seating area for peaceful relaxation.

At one shallow end there were four ceramic lounge chairs built in to the bottom, allowing you to have a nap in the pool without drowning. This was one of my most favourite features, tied with the main swim-up bar, and beating out the 12-foot circular hot tub by 6.5%

Our section of beach was enormous, especially compared to small things, like hamsters. Incidentally, the sand was so soft that it actually felt like we were walking on thousands of cuddly dead hamsters.

We walked down the beach in both directions and found that most of the other resorts had a section of beach about 75% smaller than ours. Their hamsters were not as fresh as ours, either.

Although I didn't try it, we had an impressive rock-climbing wall in the sand between our pool and the beach. Next to it was the beach volleyball court where I played with a great big pile of French people one afternoon. There was never a clear winner, as everyone was constantly distracted by the toplessness of many girls passing by.

Can't really complain about that, now can I?