Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Original Ken Jennings

Hughanne phones a friend only to brag that she already knows the answer.

Thursdays I usually head up to ST3's parents place for a fun game of C&C, or sometimes America's Army. I am always greeted by a happy German Shepherd, and ST3's step-mom, H. But I won't see them tonight because ST3 is on patrol with the O.P.P.

H is one of my devoted readers, and, the original Ken Jennings. Yes, H is bursting at the seams with absurd amounts of information, useful and otherwise.

Mostly otherwise.

Do you know what time J.R. was shot at, or what he was wearing? H does. Ever wonder who invented pink lemonade? H knows. Want to know what happened on November 5, 1955? Ask H. Do you know who won Bronze at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics? No, it doesn't matter which event. H. can probably name them all: every country, every event, every forgotten 3rd place finish.

Nearly a decade-and-a-half ago we bugged H to try out for Jeopardy. Even though she seemed to know everything that ever happened on this planet, she had one downfall: time. Although she could always come up with a correct answer, sometimes it would take her 5 minutes to think of it.

When we were in high school a few of us used to play Trivial Pursuit. We would play for an eternity. We weren't very smart. After struggling for hours, the brightest of us would be lucky to have 2 pie pieces.

But everything changed when H came home.

She didn't even want to play. But we forced her because it was fun to see how fast she could beat us. Even if 5 of us teamed up against her, and combined all our pies into one playing piece, it didn't matter. We did not have a chance.

H would start in the middle, just like everyone else did 3 hours earlier. In fifteen minutes she would walk the board, never missing an answer. The game would be over.

Once in a while, if we were really lucky, we'd stump her on some obscure sports question. But even then she could throw a wild guess out there, and, more times than not, it would be right.

Fifteen years before Ken Jennings, there was H. The amount of information in her brain is scary. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she turned out to be some kind of robot.

Beep Beep, Robo-H. Beep Beep!


Blogger ms. creek said...

where is H today?

10:18:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

H is crazy! She's probably sitting in her big leather chair. Or, she might even be in Florida. I have no idea! She's nuts.

1:53:00 PM


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