Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Sesame Street Fish Food

Fish Food + Cat Food = Dog Food?One of these things is not like the others,
most of these things are kinda the same.
Can you tell which one is doing its own thing,
before my song is done....
And now my song is done.

Upstairs, in our spare bedroom, sits a 50 gallon aquarium weighing about 700 pounds. Inside this aquarium are tropical freshwater fish. These fish require food. Fish food, to be exact. That's important to remember.

I "collect" plecos. The plecostomus is a totally ancient fish from South America, and each one is so cool-looking, I can't resist buying them.

My pride and joy is Sir Glubs-a-lot, a Sailfin Gibbiceps from the Loricariidae family. I've had this bad boy since about 1996. In the last 10 years he has grown to his full size of 18 inches.

Being 18 inches long means he's a strong boy. Strong boys require lots of food. Zucchini is great, but it floats, and is therefore difficult to eat. So food comes in the form of these green algae discs, above. Sir Glubs-a-lot requires 6 of these a day. I throw in 8 each day so that my other, tiny 4-inch and 7-inch female plecos can eat too.

The other day I found something unusual in my fish food. It appears to be a piece of cat food. Beige cat food. CAT FOOD!

What is Wardley trying to tell me? That my fish need tartar control? That my fish have bad breath? Is this some sort of new marketing gimmick?

And that makes me wonder, when a new dog food is 25% tastier, how do they know this? Who tests it? Scientists? How do they add 25% more flavour molecules? And why did they leave them out in the first place? How do they ask dogs their opinions? Can dogs talk?

Not even the big orange and white Sesame Street dog, Barclay, said a word. But if he could, I doubt he'd say his new food was 25% yummier.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this calls for a phonecall to the 1-800 number on the back of the package, don't you?

12:23:00 PM

Blogger Dairn said...

How about that dog on Mr. Dressup all those years? Finnegan opened his trap all the time and never said a word, bark, yip or yelp (Casey never opened his mouth once but you couldn't get him to shut up). Maybe Finnegan and Barclay are are behind this obvious sabotage?

12:32:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Hey Finnegan, we're onto you!

p.s. Casey gives me nightmares.

1:51:00 PM

Blogger ms. creek said...

i think they are telling you that your fish are CATFISH! NOT the plecos you thought you were buying!



11:46:00 AM

Blogger Rainypete said...

You found the special piece! You should claim your prize.

12:44:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Ah, the Golden Nugget! I've won a year's supply of fish food!

10:30:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone knows that convicts are the real taste testers behind new, improved dog food.

it also makes their hair shinier... those without their heads shaved, that is.

11:54:00 AM

Blogger ms. creek said...

wait a minute! nobody commented about my reason for the cat food to be in the fish food.....because your fish is a cat fish. now that took a genius to think that up and no one even responded to it! sheesh! what am i here? chopped liver? wait, that's beta fish food.

12:42:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Yes, let's all give Ms Ellie a nice medal for her ingenious catfish comment. You know what's really funny? Plecos are actually part of the catfish family! I thought you were being a know-it-all! :)

12:05:00 PM

Blogger ms. creek said...

oomg! i had no idea! how intuitive is that? lol

9:09:00 PM


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