Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

"I See Dead Kittens"

Beaner's meows for the Ghostbusters went unanswered.

A secret looms in the darkest corner of our dining room, and only Beaner knows what lies beyond the wall. Beaner, the cat that inspired M. Night Shaymalan's totally predictable 'The Sixth Sense', can see dead kittens.

Beaner is a pretty normal cat. She sleeps everywhere, and is very good at eating. But she also does something strange. Once in a while she goes wacky. She sits in the corner of our dining room, staring at the wall. She meows pathetically into the corner. She stands up and scratches at the wall. She sees something.

But there's nothing there.

It's difficult to convince Beaner that she's meowing at nothing. Her meows insist that ghost kittens lurk just behind the plaster. If we pull her away from the wall, she becomes more agitated, and runs back to the corner to continue her dunce-like stare into nothingness.

After months of this eerie behaviour (which she has never exhibited before), I decided to ease my mind by examining the corner. But what I found did not ease my mind at all. In fact, it added to the mystery, and to my uneasiness. I began knocking on the plaster. My knocks revealed nothing unusual. The plaster was solid. Then I knocked on the tall baseboards. Solid, solid, solid.....


A six or seven inch section of baseboard, right in the corner that caused Beaner's persistent meows, was totally hollow! What lies in the hollow gap? What is trapped behind the baseboard that could cause a sane cat to lose her mind?

Whatever it is, it isn't consistent. Sometimes Beaner walks through the dining room without a care, yet on certain occasions, she is driven absolutely mad by the wall. A wall that imprisons the ghosts of kittens she will never be able to rescue.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw, Beaner! She's so cute! I've never seen such a cute cat before.

5:04:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, I agree, a very handsome kitten.

Have you considered hiring an exorcist? You should take your cat's plaintive meows very seriously - they can see things beyond what we can see.

5:06:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You call that cute? She's nothing but a big fat furball! Such obesity!

5:07:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

I am taking it seriously! When I pop that 67-year old baseboard off, I fully expect zombie kittens to hungrily pour out onto the floor!

6:28:00 PM

Blogger Princess Lo said...

Ahh poor beaner. maybe she is just having temporary moments of insanity??? are you noticing any specific patterns?

11:29:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Patterns? Yeah! Meowing and scratching into the corner of our dining room!

12:06:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have heard of mice, right?

12:13:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Oh Jodster. As if a computer could ever get stuck behind the wall. WhatEVER.

10:25:00 AM


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