Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rice Krispies Konfusion

I wish they'd bring back Kellogg's Trapezoid Cereal

I love cereal. I absolutely friggin' LOVE cereal.

Every time I visit the U.S., I like to buy many boxes of strange cereal, or cereal we simply don't get in Canada anymore. Every now and then a new cereal comes out, and I like to try it. Kellogg's has introduced a new cereal, and I have to say it has, by far, the longest, and most confusing name a cereal could ever have. Boo on you Kellogg's!

Everybody has tried Rice Krispies right? I have always called it "Kellogg's Rice Krispies" and I'm not sure why. Maybe they specifcally marketed it that way when I was little - and it stuck. Kellogg's newest kreation doesn't go one step further than this, they go nine steps further, with a nine-word cereal title.

They couldn't just call it Rice Krispies Squares Cereal. No. First, Kellogg's presents the cereal to me, like a film: New Line Cinema Presents.... A Martini Production..... then they tell me the name of the cereal: Squares Cereal. And then they have to inform me that I have purchased the Chocolatey Marshmallow Flavour, as if there are other flavours available. Like Pink Flamingo Kiwi. Or Butternut Squash Squirrel.

I looked everywhere for Spicy Raman Noodle flavour...Here it is:
Kellogg's Rice Krispies Presents... Squares Cereal, Chocolatey Marshmallow Flavour.

The name of this breakfast treat is absuredly long, and no kid I know could ever hope of coming close to remembering all the words without using cue cards or spending a few hours memorizing it. Even while writing this, I had to refer to the box a number of times to make sure I got the name kompletely korrect.

The cereal itself is very yummy. It does taste surprisingly similar to Rice Krispies Squares. My biggest surprise came when I read the ingredients. Kellogg's pounds you over the head with things like "Rice Krispies" and "Kellogg's Rice Krispies" and "Rice Krispies Squares" and even "Marshmallow " flavour. And it's all just a ruse! Why bother to make a cereal name so bloody long, just to mislead the trusting public?

There are no Rice Krispies in this cereal at all. It's made of corn.


Blogger Rainypete said...

I was more unnerved by the reference to choclatey flavour...

What exactly is it that it can't be referred to as chocolate?

1:19:00 PM

Anonymous Mysterious Blogger said...

Remember Marshmallow Krispies? They were so good. I wonder what happened to them.

6:12:00 PM

Blogger ~*Stephanie*~ said...

You said bloody how cute!! I have family in Canada and my grandmother adds bloody think to the end of every thing and when I asked her why bloody she told me it was a Canada thing..LOL

10:29:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

steph - what province are they in?

I think we say " bloody" because of British heritage. The English say "bloody" everything! Those bloody British. haha.

3:06:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

Yup, definitely a Brit thing. Me bloody Da's from England and I bloody well say bloody all the bloody time.


9:32:00 AM

Blogger ~*Stephanie*~ said...

You know I really have no clue all I know is they are close to Michigan...They always come down here to visit I have never been able to go up there..


11:47:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Oooh! I have cousins in Lake Orion, Michigan.

5:38:00 PM

Blogger ~*Stephanie*~ said...

I am going to ask when I call back home this weekend...It has me curious...

4:35:00 PM


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