Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Murphy's Law At Its Best

Floors are under x2 - Underfoot and underappreciated.

Murphy is an asshole. And his law just plain sucks.

When I began my basement renovation I did what Batman does. I "be prepared." I have to admit something - I hate looking like the court jester. I hate making a mistake and having someone else arrogantly claim, "Oh, I knew that would happen."

So, when I demo'd my basement a year and a half ago, I prepared by watching the walls. With each thunderstorm, April shower or minor drizzle I monitored the walls for dampness. Every time there was a spring thaw, I slapped on my Sherlock-style cap and vigilantly poked and prodded, looking for a sign of water.

The wettest months, March and April 2007 passed without a hint of moisture. March and April 2008 were virtual carbon copies. Based on three years of dry basement life, I was confident the north-facing wall was safe. But that wasn't enough for me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Overkill is cool.

Considering our house was built in 1939 with spongecrete er, concrete block foundation, I decided to waterproof the walls for that sleep-soundly-at-night-knowing-my-sugar-collection-won't-be-ruined confident feeling.

It only took me a day to waterproof the wall with Blue Seal, an environmentally friendly, no VOC polymer. During the month it took to cure, it survived 3 major thunderstorms. I confidently erected (tee hee) the framing, insulated, and began the tile work.

Having remarkable trouble with our tile installer (imagine a professional who says it's impossible to tile around a floor drain, who tells me he "hates this bullshit job", looks at our tile and says "you gotta be kidding me! I can't tile the floor with these!" then suddenly changes his mind, who randomly mixes up the order things need to be completed in, breaks my marble, milks my goat and does something even worse to my donkey, just to name a few of the problems) I didn't think things could get worse.

But they did.

Today the tile installer finally started. Today he laid most of the floor and even brought a friend to assist him. It was the first day I didn't have an arguement with him about something. It was the first day I felt good about the whole tile situation.

And today, of all the days in all the years anybody's ever lived here, for the first time ever and in spite of the waterproofing, a 10 minute thunderstorm unloaded half an inch of water into the bathroom, over the freshly laid tile, through the new framing, and right into my neatly propped up drywall.

This mini-flood invoked both curses and an unfathomable amount of anger which revealed my superhero powers - strength - as I valiantly moved the washer and dryer which, the day before, required my dad's help; as I brutally hoisted three full sheets of drywall up and quickly jammed a towel under the bottom edge; and as I punched a hole through Murphy's (of Murphy's Law fame) head.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

wow...i wished i could find a "THAT REALLY SUCKS" hallmark card to send you because that REALLY sucks! if it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all!

sorry about that!

take a break and do the meme tag!

wow. that really sucks.

12:02:00 AM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Dang that was a quick reply! I'd offer you a trophy if I had one. Sorry I haven't gotten to the meme yet. (I wasn't even planning on posting tonight but this JUST happened) If I have time I'll do it tomorrow night before we leave for Gettysburg!

12:07:00 AM

 
Blogger SJ said...

Your donkey ? Your ass? That does suck. I will sign ms creek's card :)

12:34:00 AM

 
Blogger mmat said...

this is why instead of renovating i just move every couple of years.

well, actually i move every couple of years because i rent, but i still hate doing home renovations.

6:25:00 AM

 
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

completely by accident..since school is out, i sat down at my usual "bed time" and wrote blog comments last night.

you get to go on ANOTHER vacation? oh well, i go every weekend.

you deserve a break from Murphy.

11:13:00 AM

 
Blogger Becky said...

I have a basement that likes to flood to, but we don't have any nice flooring or walls down there just because of it. With linoleum floors I really don't mind the flooding as much, speaking of which I need to finally get a wet vac and give the old mop and my back a break. Thankfully it only floods maybe once a year.

10:22:00 PM

 
Blogger Velvet Ginger (Rubye Jean) said...

I agrees that "that sux" but very interesting things about you!!!

6:12:00 PM

 

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