Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

This Little Piggy Cried...

Sewing is not just for girls any more! Learn to sew stitches with Dr. Stabby.

Two weeks ago I got some important news. It's extra special news because something out of the ordinary happened. Not "out of the ordinary" like Chad Vader paying me a surprise visit - although before today I would've put my money on the visit rather than on what actually happened.

The last time I saw my neurologist, he said, as a last resort to find out what's wrong with my feet, we'd apply for a biopsy. This is strange because in Canada, he said, you can't get specific skin biopsies. They're done in the U.S. and since our government is footing the bill, it has to approve each and every biopsy.

We filled out the necessary paperwork, and as I left he told me not to get my hopes up because less than one percent of biopsies get approved.

Then two weeks ago happened.

My biopsy was approved and today I went to the hospital for the procedure. It started with me putting on a gown, followed by me laying on a bed.

My neurologist froze my right ankle and thigh. The needle burned, but within seconds I was numbed. He cut and snipped out the samples which he then placed in special containers packed with frozen water for their trip to the U.S. lab.

As he sewed up my surprisingly bloody wounds with the silk thread, I mentioned I had never had stitches before. Surprised, he asked me, "never?"

I proudly replied that I had never had stitches, nor broken any bones, which prompted him to explain the stitch-removification procedure I had to do on day five.

For the next few hours things were normal. I finished up at work, came home, ate dinner, and went upstairs to change. But it was more than just my clothes that got changed in that bedroom. The status of my skeletal structure also changed... as I smashed my foot so hard against the leg of the bed that I broke my first bone, one of the little piggies.

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Blogger Ms. Creek said...

UGH! Sorry about that! Now he can't go to market!

9:10:00 AM

Blogger Patti said...

Oh my - a day of "firsts" and NOT good ones either!
I have broken toes - they hurt - a LOT. Feel better Martini!

Good luck on the biopsies too.

10:56:00 AM

Blogger Becky said...

I am yet to have stitches or a broken bone either. Hopefully it heals well!

1:17:00 PM

Blogger mmat said...

i've had broken bones, but not stitches. i'm hoping that if/when i do need to get stitches it will leave an awesome scar like a bad guy in a movie or something.

1:24:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

A big scar through one eyebrow or down a cheek under your eye would be sweet! You could get all kinds of work as movie villians, or Frankenstein!

2:23:00 PM

Blogger Bella said...

Good Luck!

6:14:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

thanks Bella... you mysterious person who has a hidden profile!

10:53:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You having surprisingly attractive feet...

4:17:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

YOU love my feet, Viv loves my ears, there's so much inappropriateness going on at work!

11:51:00 PM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

your friend, jimmy dillnuts, slammed right into the back of me last night while i was stopped in the turn lane.

11:10:00 AM

Blogger Michael Manning said...

OUCH, DAMMIT!!!! I did the same thing but escaped anything broken. Of course I was on a cane for weeks. But...DAMN!!!!!

I wonder what John DeLorean would have said or done?

12:10:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Oooh! Ellie. Sorry to hear that. I wondered where he was these days as there hasn't been much crash-action around here.

Michael - I always imagine John being very professional and unemotional. Stubbing a toe may have resulted in something like, "Darnit all to heck."

12:17:00 AM


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