Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Cat-lateral Damage

Excellent revenge: dump an entire 7 kg box of kitty litter onto your jerkass neighbour's hardwood floors. Virtually guaranteed to create scratches and gouges.

I don't know how people do it. I don't know how crazy old cat ladies can have dozens of insanity-inducing cats, except maybe for the fact that they're, well, insane.

To have multiple cats is expensive and exhausting. We learned this with our recent experience with three quarters of a half dozen cats. That's four cats for the mathmatically challenged. (That's "4" for the alphabetically challenged.) Our two girls, plus my parents two boys.

Every few days our house began to smell. The smell was like cats. Their food, their pee, their crap, their little pink buttholes, their litter. So every few days we had to clean out two litter boxes; one for the upstairs cats, and one for the downstairs cats.

The winter seemed to fly by as we spent every spare minute cleaning. If it weren't for Roomba, our house would be condemned right now due to inhabitable conditions as a result of an unacceptable build-up of unsanitary elements that would pose a health risk to anyone walking within 30 feet of our home.

But even Roomba couldn't fully compete with our kitties. Their fur wasn't the problem. It was the litter that got out of hand. Digging-litterbox action fired the tiny clumping granules all over the floor. And despite our best efforts, we couldn't stop it from getting underfoot.

Kitty litter plus hardwood - and gravitational forces pulling body weight down onto said litter/hardwood combination - do not go well together.

The damage is done. The granulated bentonite clay particles, which are normally used for absorbing our cats' excrement, have devalued our home by 0.1% as they've scraped our hardwood floors with their crunchy, sand-flavoured edges. Dang. Maybe I should've titled this post 'Collitteral Damage.'

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Blogger SJ said...

Now I know why the robot dogs are popular pets.

12:52:00 AM

Blogger Patti said...

I feel your pain we used to have three indoor cats. Now they are outdoor (through their own choice and my opposition until I finally caved)

8:18:00 AM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

We found some litter that is actually made from wheat. There isn't any smell to it (so your cat won't come out smelling like a french whore) but it absorbs all the smell and doesn't get tracked all over!

8:47:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

Wheat litter? That's wild! I like the idea. And stuff with no scent is tops in my book, as some kitty litter's reek more than the actual cat crap itself.

10:55:00 AM

Blogger Katie said...

Those darn cats!

8:54:00 PM


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