Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Money-Making Neighbourhood

Knowing how to read English should be required for an Ontario driver's licence. Somehow, it's not.I like gas. The kind the sun is made of. And seeing as how the weekend was bright, sunny and almost warm with the first signs of spring finally rearing their long-awaited heads, it was a perfect day to go searching for people doing illegal things.

I like when justice is served. But that's not what has been happening in my neighbourhood, and it's making me full of the angry. Although it does not affect me in any sort of direct way, I feel everyone else's pain due to my past experiences, and I wish I could use my super powers to help them in some way.

One reason
that Suz and I moved was because I could not get out of my driveway in the morning due to dim-witted parents dropping off the unfortunate fruits of their loins at the school in front of my house. I can say with almost 100% certainty that every single one of these parents, whose IQs are lower than a flea with a learning disability, broke the law at least once as they dropped off their 7- and 8-year-olds.

For starters, nearly every one of them parked in a No-Stopping Zone, while the worst of them offendafied me personally - by parking directly in front of my driveway even as I sat in my car, attempting to back out into the chaos.

This behaviour
was met with shaking fists and horn honking. But I didn't take it to the next level until some of them began parking their personal Dodge school buses IN my driveway, and on my front lawn.

If you're getting the impression I live in slummy hick town, you'd be wrong. Way wrong. This is white collar, Land Rover territory.

I started my barrage of phone calls to the City and the principal of the school. The school sent home numerous flyers, but the City did as much as they could to not cooperate, telling me to call the police, who in turn, laughed and told me to call the city.

Suz and I joined the school's traffic committee and attended a number of meetings over the course of a year. Gasps of disgust echoed throughout the room when I told my tale of having to deal with ignorant, self-indulgent moms who parked in my driveway.

Suggestions were made by many parents, but by-law officers informed our committee that placing orange pylons, saw-horses or any other sort of driveway blockade, including a large mob of molotov-cocktail toting extremists, were illegal.

But in the end, it was an impossible situation that nobody with any authority was willing to deal with. After 3 years, Suz and I moved.

And now I am encountering a similar problem just down the street as this class act has parked his/her Camry in a SNOW ROUTE - in the middle of winter no less.

The worst part is, this car, with no licence plates, has been parked in this NO PARKING zone all winter without receiving a single ticket. It's really too bad because with the number of tickets the city could issue in my neighbourhood alone, they could afford to hire more by-law officers and keep the scum off the streets.

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Blogger ZoeyBella said...

I HATE rude drivers and people who act as if what they are doing shouldn't piss you off. In a perfect world you could reach into their car and beat their heads against the front dash... but we don't actually live in a perfect world, now do we?

11:52:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

I suppose I could still do just that - beat their heads against the dash. In a perfect world, I wouldn't get charged!

12:00:00 AM

Blogger Katie said...

That sucks!

I used to live near the fairgrounds and people would park in my lot in my spot all the time.

12:41:00 AM

Blogger mmat said...

ironically, i got a parking ticket this weekend because my parking tag thingy that i paid for was less than 10 minutes expired. stupid me, i only paid for an hour when i should have paid for an hour and nine minutes.

9:53:00 AM

Blogger Patti said...

Good God if you or I tried shenanigans like that we'd probably be IN jail right now!

9:55:00 AM

Blogger SJ said...

My parents moved to their current house after the city decided to have a bus stand right outside our house.
It was for long distance buses so we had honking at all hours of the day.

10:09:00 AM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

Grrr, that kind of crap makes me so mad. Why do they have laws if no one is going to abide by them and no one enforces them? maybe you could pull that toyota into your driveway, blocking anyone else from parking there!

7:38:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

mmat, you should go to jail for that heinous crime. And may the Lord have mercy on your soul.

I don't understand why laws aren't enforced... especially money-making laws.

10:41:00 PM

Blogger Techie Guy said...

I hate when people don't actually think about where they park. In my neighbourhood people don't like to use their driveways. Cars are always parked on both sides of the street while the driveways are empty.

It's a pain trying to drive down a street that is wide enough for two cars but reduced to barely one.

10:16:00 PM


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