Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Amputee Ghost Cat

You can tell the ghost cat is male because he can stand upright with no hind legs.

The skeletons in my closet clatter with an uneasiness that sends chills reverberating throughout our house. The furnace mysteriously halts as an unstoppable cold fills each room. It is searching for something.

70-year-old windows rattle. Eerie wind creeps through the cracks and the coldness grows. Another being dwells in our home, and he is hungry. Strange noises emanate from unoccupied rooms... then suddenly...

The Amputee Ghost Cat appears!

Hovering, with no hind legs, the amputee ghost cat calls for food with a surreal, whispering meow. As faithful servant, I obey. Only the finest roasted, shaved chicken will do for the amputee ghost cat.

Shmeg's mighty paw grabs my hand to hold it steady.With his large paws he reaches for the food. The ghost cat makes contact with my hand - and it is cold. I tremble as I feed the starving spectre. His piercing blue eyes pierce my own eyes with a piercing stare that pierces uh, stuff. I must obey.

My hands shake like a diabetic on a sugar-low as I tear off another strip of tasty chicken for the phantom before me. I wonder what happened to his hind paws as I try and distract myself. I must stay focused. The amputee ghost cat can sense fear.

"Only a few more tender pieces of delicious chicken and he'll be satisfied" I think to myself. Sure enough, the ghost cat drops to the ground. His hind legs reappear and he walks away, licking his chops.

I have survived another feeding.

Labels: , , ,

8 Comments:

Blogger ZoeyBella said...

Kitty!!! :)

1:22:00 AM

 
Blogger Michael Manning said...

Martini: Would that be "the Cat's Meow"? :D

3:01:00 AM

 
Blogger Becky said...

What was amputated from the poor ghost kitty?

3:43:00 PM

 
Blogger Ms. Creek said...

now THAT"S a naughty tt! very spoiled and i wonder whose fault it is??!!

7:36:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

I'm tired of being lil shmeg's mommy, feeding him this way and headbutting him - and letting him chase me around as though we're playing tag. When he's 18, he's outta the house!

9:01:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

I'm tired of being lil shmeg's mommy, feeding him this way and headbutting him - and letting him chase me around as though we're playing tag. When he's 18, he's outta the house!

9:01:00 PM

 
Blogger SJ said...

Purrrrrrrrrr

6:01:00 AM

 
Blogger Patti said...

Oh surely he can't be THAT bad! Methinks you exaggerate!

1:04:00 PM

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

 

This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.