Stag & Doe #2

What happens when you have 21 hours of stuff to do, but there are only 24 hours in a day? You sleep for 3 hours.

Saturday was Stag & Doe #2, a money-making event for Suz's cousin Vicki, and her man Ryan, who both share a love of karaoke, alcoholic beverages and camping.

Because Vicki & Ryan are so super-great, and really spice up our spicy Halloween parties, I was feeling generous and therefore purchased a crapload of raffle tickets. I was so proud of the staggering amount of tickets I had that I wore them on my wrists all night, showing them off. Like Wonder Woman.

Suz, using her tried and true method of dispersing her tickets evenly over all the prizes, distributed her tickets equally over all the prizes. I, on the other hand, slammed 70 raffle tickets into the one item I really wanted, a tasty Jelly Belly margarita mix set, with a really nice juice jug and glasses.

After dropping ticket #70 into the overflowing container, I figured overkill was good enough. I then dropped my last fifteen tickets into the prize I knew Suz wanted - a nice lotiony Avon gift basket.

With my last few bucks, I paid a nice bouncer to put naughty Vicki in jail - and laughed heartily while her poor dad had to combine all the cash he had left with somebody else's money just to bail her out so she could enjoy her own party.

If only it were like that in real life; I'd be broke with all the people I'd throw in the slammer.

As midnight drew near, the raffle prizes were drawn. My Avon effort paid off, as one of my tickets won it for Suz. However, to my astonishment, I didn't win the Jelly Belly drink set. I could feel a temper tantrum coming on, so I sat quietly, telling Dead Baby jokes in my own head until I felt relaxed enough to behave normally.

Amazingly, I drove home from the hall with a happy wife, her happy sister, and thanks to Vicki's super-awesome mom, the Jelly Belly drink set, which we put to use the very next day despite severe sleep deprevation.

Stag & Doe #1