Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Halloween Is A Nerd

Two rebels in the night.
I refuse to give in to the pressures of Christmas!

Christmas is always saying "look at me! I'm better than Halloween!" and "shop for stuff" and "time for presents!". Meanwhile Halloween is quietly whispering "candy, I got candy. Pssst, hey kid, want some candy?" It's no wonder people choose happy-go-lucky December 25 over creepy October 31.

Just like the jackass who still turns his Christmas lights on in the middle of May, I am forcing my neighbourhood to extend Halloween by lighting my jack-o-lanterns. The difference is, I'm not crazy. I'm angry. Angry that Christmas bullies my poor Halloween around. Well, I'm not going to take it any more. That's right, I'm going down kicking and screaming.

Halloween candy causes tooth and pumpkin decay.On the weekend it snowed, and I lit my rotting, collapsing, mould-covered jack-o-lanterns for the last time. I think the snow made them look extra-spooky. The black mould, however, absorbed much of the candle-light, and the pumpkins didn't glow very well.

So, when does Halloween end? October 31st? That's All Hallow's Eve. Technically it should end November 1st , on All Hallow's Day, or All Saints Day. But that day is reserved for the eating of candy, instead of the observance of Saints.

If we were to personify these two 'holidays', Christmas would always be the big fat bully, with Santy Claus portraying the role quite appropriately. He's so manipulative, convincing everyone that he's great, but when all our backs are turned, he's quietly beating up little nerd-boy, Halloween.

Don't worry Halloween, I'm here to defend you! At least until my rotting jack-o-lanterns collapse into piles of drippy mush.

Labels: ,

4 Comments:

Blogger Rainypete said...

You're lucky. My lanterns didn't fare nearly as well. They stopped being candle compatible about a week and a half ago. Now the only way to get them to glow is a trip to the local nuclear reactor (Do you think they leave the one at Mac unlocked?).

1:40:00 PM

 
Blogger Martini said...

Wait, I think I saw uranium for sale on eBay....

5:50:00 PM

 
Blogger ms. creek said...

well, um, i always want to skip thanksgiving because of the dreaded death dates, so, i'll go with you....halloween until my birthday, dec. 18th

10:51:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA

I seriously laughed SO hard when I saw the pictures and read this blog. HAHAHAHAHA

Never surrender!! LOL!

-Your sister

11:24:00 AM

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

 

This many people accidentally stumbled upon my site
...while searching for porn.