Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Do Not Follow

Sexy dump truck ass

Does anyone see a problem here?

Suz and I just got back from Mystic, Connecticut. We were there for a week, including two days of driving.

When we crossed the border into New York last Friday, this dump truck was practically the first thing we encountered. I pulled out my trusty Cybershot and started taking pictures. Although the sign on the back read "Construction Vehicle. Do Not Follow", we had no choice. The highway was under construction and reduced to one lane.

So, for a few miles we did exactly what we were prohibited from doing. We followed the dump truck. I was really nervous so I asked Suz to watch for State Troopers. Luckily, they were all busy shining their boots and loading their shotguns.

While following the truck, questions arose in my mind. The main question was why? I believe the answer is a closely guarded secret. I believe that there is a secret hideout for construction workers, similar to the Smurfs and their magical, hidden mushroom village. If anyone were to follow one of the vehicles they would stumble across this haven for roadwork crews.

In order to protect themselves from angry motorists who grow murderous with delays and detours, the construction workers banded together and created this secret town, hidden forever with the use of a simple sign designed to fool idiotic drivers.

The sign is a faux-safety sign. Logic says that you shouldn't follow a rusty old dump truck because of what might break off it and smash into your car. Like axles, or the frame.

So I was thinking, if some guy robs a bank and doesn't want the police to follow him, he should just put one of these signs on the back of his getaway pickup truck. All he would have to do is avoid roads that are restricted to one lane.

I was also thinking...

Batmobile, Do Not Follow
Celebrity On Board, Do Not Follow
Suicide Bomber, Do Not Follow

I dare all you Suicide Bombers to try this. Let me know if it works.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah! marmar is back!!!!

2:23:00 PM

Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

if it was suicide terrorist, they would have a sign saying,
"suicide bomber, please follow."

7:04:00 PM

Blogger Rainypete said...

I should throw a bunch of duct tape on my bumper like it's loose ans stick one on my trunk lid. "Bumper loose, follow at your own peril"> I'd like to think that would limit some of the highway tailgating, but not likely. Better to actually cut it loose and tie it on with a slipknot that can be undone while driving.

12:23:00 PM

Blogger TheatreChick73 said...

Boy, welcome to New York State indeed. To be stuck behind some (quite literally) stupid dump truck as you enter the state is not cool. My apologies. I'll get right on fixing that moronic sign.

12:49:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

LOL! Theatrechick - at least you have smooth roads (and no bumper-dropping-maniacs like RainyPete to contend with.... or do you?)

My city is Pothole Central. Cars have been swallowed whole. There are lawsuits a-plenty. It's basically suspension suicide. Our dirt & gravel sideroads are smoother.

4:12:00 PM

Anonymous bradbennett said...

ok, that is just HILARIOUS! that sign brought me here. I commute from NW DC to Alexandria VA a lot. and for some reason, they are hauling dirt back and forth between them. so I get behind them all time time!

4:10:00 PM


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