Halloween Party 2009!

A successful Halloween party, among other things, requires that the host graduated the first grade. Good timing, or learning how to read a clock, is vital. If your timing is off, it's going to be a bad night.

Asking guests to arrive too early could have them leaving before midnight, as they get tuckered out too soon. I planned our party to start at 8 p.m., as a good party sees guests let loose for at least six hours.

During the six hours of raging, barely controllable drinking, guests inevitably hungered for not only the skullcakes and 'crack' we put out, but the healthy food too. Thankfully we put out the spread just as people like the Joker started arriving. And since the Joker is so unpredictable, it's beneficial to stay on his good side!

Usually one or two celebrities drop by for our annual Halloween party and 2009 was no exception. Jamiroquai stopped by for a bit, struck a few poses, then scrambled off in his private jet, late for a concert somewhere. Captain Jack Sparrow decided to to chill with us as well, and in typical pirate fashion, stirred up trouble and encouraged others to partake of the shenanigans. But the big shocker of the night was Tinky Winky, in all his purple glory, who entertained until the wee hours of the morning.

As if one Paper Bag Princess wasn't enough, another graced us with her semi-naked appearance half-way to contest time. The Paper Bag Princii caused shock and awe among guests when they revealed that one used to babysit the other, and hadn't seen each other in 20 years!

When partygoers started getting thirsty, yours truly in my homemade Vince Offer costume whipped out the impressive Slap Chop and slapped away everyone's troubles. The fresh fruit filled their sangria glasses deliciously and guaranteed partying for an additional 2 hours (an additional 4 for the unstoppable Joker).

Being an infomercial star made everything easier. Not only did I soak up spilled beer with my German-made Sham Wow, but in the morning I used one as a bath mat. And I know you're all dying to know, so while we're on the topic of me, yes... everyone did love my nuts.

It's hard to believe, but Abogado, the Russian Superman (an inside joke) even showed up. The timing for the costume contest was crucial, as Abogado and her husband, Indiana Jones, had to both save and defeat Russia simultaneously at midnight.

As V, Dorothy, Snow White, the Statue of Liberty and a pair of obsecene plug and outlets gathered 'round for the costume contest results, Waldo pulled a classic move and slipped in behind for the best photo of the night, captured by the CSI team of Vicki and Ryan.

First prize, and a Slap Chop, went to the Joker, who appeared to text all his friends. Although, there's the possibility he could've been blowing up a hospital. Second prize, a Graty, went to Tinky Winky who promised he would try it on Tacos, Linguini, Fettucini, Martini, and Bikinis.

As the night wore on, people slowly trickled out the front door while a few others stayed the night. Yes, thanks to good timing, our 18th annual Halloween party was a success again. Now I just have to work on updating my blog in a timely fashion.

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Last year's mischievousness opens in a new window by clicking here