Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Costumed Caterpillar

Watch out for the eyes. The eyes shoot lasers through leaves.

August is here, and with it comes the 3 H's; Heat. Humidity. Halloween. That's right I said it. Halloween.

The Ween bug bites me every summer as I begin preparing for my annual Halloween bash. And, as is the custom, I've spent the last couple of days searching the web for exciting Halloween stuffs. So what could be more appropriate than what I found today in my backyard - a caterpillar with a scary costume.

Our crabapple tree, reaching down as though trying to bitchslap your face with its low-hanging branches, startled me when one of its guests nearly hit me in the forehead. It was one of the strangest caterpillars I've ever seen.

It was a bizarre, smooth, sort of quasi-transparent snot colour, and much fatter than any other I've encountered. But that wasn't the weird part. It was the eyes. Almost neon yellow, the predator-frightening eyes were false. As Suz said, it almost looked like it was wearing a mask. And for a brief moment she actually thought I had somehow sneakily painted the eyes on without her seeing.

The eye is charging up, just like the death star! Look out! Run Alderaan! Run!This amazing caterpillar with its bright fake eyes is a much more welcome caterpillar than the ones we had last year, which incidentally, killed my neighbour's crabapple tree, leaving only a skeleton of empty, grey branches. I am happy to have this unique caterpillar, a bricklayer by trade, living in my tree.

And when he builds his sturdy home, I hope he stays protected from the Blue Jays that have a nest nearby. Because when the time comes for him to emerge, he will, like Denis DeYoung, throw away his mask a la Mr. Roboto - and reveal himself as an Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterfly - not a la Mr. Roboto.

And I can't wait to see him, because according to the Canadian government, this kind of butterfly is rare in Canada. And mighty tasty.

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Blogger SJ said...

It's a mutant caterpillar. Call the X Men.

12:56:00 AM

Blogger Monogram Queen said...

I love caterpillars!

You said the "H" word!!!

Your page was a BITCH to load today

11:17:00 AM

Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

Wow!!!! Thos are cool little guys...the eyes are really really weirde! "Fake" is a great description you used! I am sure the birds love munching on those. I enjoyed the "bitch-slap" thing too! LOL!

4:21:00 PM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

so the birds think they are attacking the head, but it's the butt and they can run the other way? i'm confused.

11:03:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

His actual head is underneath the large part with the fake eyes, kinda like a turtle. But the eyes are supposed to be big and scary and frighten the attacking bird away. Or shoot lasers maybe.

10:21:00 AM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

hmmm, i think they probably shoot lasers.

3:16:00 PM

Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

Yah, I had to come back and look at that fake eye again...ffs.

12:28:00 AM

Blogger The T-Dude said...

Very cool. You'll have to post a pic of the butterfly!

6:49:00 AM

Blogger honkeie2 said...

I detest all forms of bug life, but I must say that one does look cool.
Man I wish you lived closer it is hard to find adult Halloween parties around here. I have been to a few bars and they always suck ass. Always one or two rejects with teeshirts on that say "this is my costume" and a couple of slutty nuns and nurses. Not that I mind the sluts but it isnt the same. Also it might help if I had friends then I could make my own ha!

8:00:00 AM

Blogger Becky said...

That's too cool. It's so neat whenever evolution gives them fake eyes on their skin for protection.

I know how you love halloween, what will you be this year?

11:12:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

t-dude: if the butterfly emerges while I'm sitting in front of the cocoon, you know I'll get a pic!

honkeie2: Sorry about the Halloween rejects! If you really want to feel bad, check out the massive street parties Rob Cockerham attends in California. He often wins a few hundred or few thousand dollars for best costume.

becky: it's totally a secret - partially because I don't know if I can find the materials to pull it off!

8:52:00 PM

Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

I really laughed about you thinking of me with teh Wizard of Oz stuff cuz now I think of you when I see Back to The Future Stuff, or quote the movie...it happens alot...folks quoting both Oz and BTTF!

9:30:00 PM

Blogger Michael Manning said...

We had a cool White Burch tree in my childhood home back in the Mid West! It fell victim to these guys too!

1:17:00 AM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

okay, freaky deal, martini...

I dreamt last night I had those creatures in my sunflowers, so you came to see them...but you were really drunk and I was frying potatoes with onions and peppers and pork chops for you and I kept saying, "Where's Suz?" You kept drinking...

10:49:00 AM

Blogger Martini said...

That wasn't a dream...

2:48:00 PM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...


7:27:00 PM

Blogger ZoeyBella said...

Just felt like pointing out that thanks to you and that picture, I had a creepy dream in which all the deep fried shrimp I was eating (yes, I eat in my dreams) were turning into that caterpillar!

10:27:00 AM


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