Originally intended to document my experience of DeLorean ownership, focus is often radical and strange, boring and obtuse.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Ten Dollar Desk

Tip - a home office should be inside your home, not in your driveway.

What's a nice desk worth? A combination of the price of the wood, and the labour of assembling it? What about the designer? And the screws and drawer hardware? What does it all add up to? $900? Maybe $2,000?

How about $10?

My workplace was recently getting rid of a number of old desks and tables. There was a silent auction. People bid on them. Highest bid won.

Nobody bid on this desk.

The auction ended and my favourite desk did not sell. I asked about it and was told any offer was good, as the desks needed to leave the building as soon as possible. I offered $10 and the desk was mine.

I didn't really want or need a desk. And this one was far too enormous to fit anywhere in my house. Sure, I could have sat behind it in an overstuffed leather chair smoking a nice cigar and telling people I didn't like their teeth, but that's not me. Plus, nobody would come to my house if I did that to them. Jerks.

What I really wanted this desk for was the wood. The wood was very nice. Thick, solid, nice grain and best of all - curved edges. It was absolutely perfect for my bar countertop for the bar which I am building in my basement.

When I got the desk home via One Useless Man's minivan, I layed on my back in the middle of the driveway and started unscrewing screws. I thought I would unscrew a few and take the wood straight into the basement.


Thirty-seven screws later the darn desk was still strong enough for me and Suz, our two fat cats, and four of our neighbours to stand on. Upon further examination, I found it was glued as well. That is a sign of a good, quality-built desk.

I estimate there are still 70 or 80 screws left in the desk, and many of them are unreachable as they are deep at the back of the drawers. To whomever built this desk, I apologize for what is about to happen to it. Tomorrow, Mr. Jigsaw comes for a visit.

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Blogger Richard said...

My friend, why jigsaw? One firework in each corner and within seconds you'll have your bar top, plus assorted firewood, numerous minor shrapnel injuries and no eyebrows until Easter.

4:35:00 PM

Blogger Ms. Creek said...

i want to see the pic of you and suz, your two fat cats and four neighbors standing on it! that would be worth at least 10 bucks! you could sell that photo along with the zillion screws and really make a mint. Hell, you wouldn't have to build a bar, you could just buy another one with all that moolah!

10:30:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Richard, you are the kind of guy who knows how to have a good time. Two thumbs up to your fab idea.

And the screws? They're actually very nice, high quality screws - as far as screws go. Now, for all you dirty-minds out there, we're not talking ten dollar hookers here.

12:53:00 AM

Blogger Katie said...

Sounds like quite the project you're undertaking. Me, I'm the lazy sort who would make, I mean pay someone do it for me.

11:30:00 AM

Blogger patti_cake said...

Wow! Sounds like you got a really good wood investment for your $10 not to mention screws! LOL

12:57:00 PM

Blogger Martini said...

Yeah, maybe I should've titled it 'Ten Dollar Screw'

9:22:00 PM


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